Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Steve G. on October 21, 2017 at 5:54pm

Mary Jane, Something to brighten your day (I hope)

Comment by Mary. Jane on October 21, 2017 at 10:00am
Ok kids, do you ever feel like this: Deb P kindly asked how my cat was doing...and the stupidest thought came into my head. And I have found myself thinking stuff like this a lot since Bob died. I WAS AFRAID TO SAY HE WAS DOING FINE because if I said that, it might “jinx” it and he would get sicker and maybe die!!! This is irrational fear and can,t seem to get over it!! Then again, the antibiotics can mess with your mind and feelings. (I googled it lol)
Comment by Mary. Jane on October 20, 2017 at 10:36pm
Thanks guys...I probably have a whole lot to say..but these antibiotics are REALLY screwing with me. But, I looked online, and yes, they can make you depressed and full of anxiety...and this is the time of year 2 years ago the day after Halloween we got Bobs cancer diagnosis.
Deb S, at least you fi
Nd yourself moving forward. I seem to b stuck and not able to do the simplest thing, like clean out even ONE drawer...oh well time for bed.
There were some wonderful things about my trip...even tho it wasn,t the trip of a lifetime, the closeness my daughter and I have was cemented even more, and I actually went wading in the Atlantic Ocean! It isALOT warmer than the pacific...and Virginia Beach is one of the prettiest cities I have ever seen...we got to stay at a HILTON that usually costs $250. Per night, for only $50 a nite, cuz Melinda had racked up points on her business THAT was really cool! And the food everywhere was really really good. Trust me, in Oklahoma the only seafood they offer is Catfish! They have no clue here! Ok goodnight my friends
Comment by Deb S on October 20, 2017 at 5:24pm

Dear friends, Our group has been a bit quiet recently. I can take some of the credit for that as I'm not posting as often as I used to post. Nevertheless, each of you remain in my thoughts. I hope that everyone is doing as well as can be expected. 

I consider myself a strong person but the raw grief experienced by the loss of my husband was an experience that I find hard to put into words. Uncontrollable crying?  Affirmative. Days spent semi-comatose on a couch? Affirmative. Weeks without food or sleep? Affirmative. Minutes and hours and days and months and years in a fog?  Affirmative.

I am now moving forward again. This is not the life I planned but it is my life. Since I have no alternative, it will have to do and I will have to do it well. That's how I roll.

I'd love to hear updates from everyone. I miss you!!!!  Debbie

Comment by Deb S on October 20, 2017 at 5:14pm

Mary Jane, Like Debby P, I'm sorry you are sick and that your trip wasn't amazing. Rain every day isn't welcome when on vacation. I hope you feel better soon.  Debbie

Comment by deborah peck on October 20, 2017 at 2:51pm

sry to hear that you are sick Mary Jane, even sadder to hear your trip wasn't what you wanted it to be, its so hard to go away and then come back to a silent house. How is your cat? hope it wasn't anything serious, get some rest , debby P

Comment by Mary. Jane on October 19, 2017 at 5:25pm
Hi guys..I’m baaack. It was a wonderful, but terribly weird trip..overshadowed HUGELY by the fires in Santa Rosa CA...where my daughter lives 30 miles from. By the grace of God, the wind went East instead of West..leaving her area untouched...but many of her co-workers lost their homes.
This is going to be a very short post...I developed a deep cough about 2 Days b4 I flew home, at the Dr today, confirmed walking pneumonia, and the antibiotics are really doing a number on my body. I did follow Legacy during the trip, and it did seem kinda the Facebook site done yet? Do you like it? Ok, I know this is an odd post, but I am in a very odd place..oh yeah, the day after I returned I had to take kitty to the vet! I don,t think I will b going away again for quite awhile. Last Dec I was ok, cuz I still was in denial that BOb was really dead..this time I had faced that fact, and really missed it rained almost every day. So I will post again when I feel better. Bye guys.
Comment by deborah peck on October 19, 2017 at 3:57pm

I went to a seminar last night with the author as the speaker, have been reading the book and doing the journal for awhile now, I think its very helpful, don't try to get thru the book fast, its meant to be a slow read. also I got a meditation BOOK HE wrote called Grief One Day At A Time, its dated for every day of the year and you find the days date and read one a day, I like it so far, just got it last night

Comment by Kaela Roster Federle on October 19, 2017 at 11:59am

Hi Deborah,

Thank you so much for that recommendation. I actually ended up getting that today on the kindle and I also got the journal that goes  along with it! This seems like it will be really helpful. Thanks!

Comment by deborah peck on October 19, 2017 at 7:54am

Kaela you need to get the book Understanding Your grief by Alan Wolfelt, its so good and verifys all of these feelings that we all have , hes a grief counselor and has written multiple books 


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