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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

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Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Nov 22, 2017. 2 Replies

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Started by denise. Last reply by Marsha H Oct 25, 2017. 4 Replies

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Comment by Sara Murphy on December 12, 2017 at 9:47pm

Diane......Thank you for posting the quote.  It'll be 2 years in January and I still truly believe nothing will ever fill the void.  Reading that quote gives me hope.

Comment by Chicago Beard on December 12, 2017 at 9:01pm

Diane

Love the quote. Says it all!

Comment by Michael Smith on December 12, 2017 at 8:31am

Thank you for sharing that Diane.

It has been two years for me and I still talk to Melanie daily. I probably always will.

Mike

Comment by Diane C on December 12, 2017 at 7:07am

It's been 5 years for me, and this is exactly how I feel. I know everyone here is struggling and as soon as I read it, I thought of all of you..... Hugs!!

Comment by Diane C on December 12, 2017 at 7:05am

Hello everyone, been a while since I have posted. I stay in touch by reading everyone's posts. I received this in my morning affirmations and thought I would share it with all of you.....

When your grief is new, all you can feel is the emptiness; the missing, the wanting, and the needing to see them one more time. There is truly a vacuum in your heart and life; a deeply empty space, and you’re sure nothing will ever fill the void. And, for a long time, nothing does. In fact, I don’t think it’s a process of filling the space, but rather one where the space shrinks ever smaller. It doesn’t go away all together, but it will become less through time.

Love and Peace to all!!!

Comment by Christine Blaire on December 12, 2017 at 6:27am

Dear friends.....

Went a.nd saw surgeon. It's stage two aggressive cancer. They don't feel it's gone anywhere else so they are going to do Mir and pet scan. She said with chemo,radiation,and surgery it is curable.I told her no do the tests and just a lumpectomy. I will not live 10,15,20 years without him. So, five years give or take is ok. She said too that maybe ill change my mind 6 months from now and it will be too late. Told her I won't change my mind. The Dr was ok for now that I agreed to have the tests done. It is 3 centimeters. They will have the ok in a day or two. I know it will be approved cause I have same coverage my Marshall had and they...insurance...approved his pet scan and Mri. I got the impression that they are going to move pretty fast on this. With the lumpectomy I will be in the hospital one night at most . The surgeon said I'm too healthy otherwise not to have chemo and radiation. Not doing it. It will be a miracle if I live the five years. Could be more, could be less. I want to be with my Marshall and that's all I want, it won't change. The lumpectomy will give me a little more time to get things in order and will stop all my friends who mean well to let me be. I AM going to try something but it's not long term. I'm only existing, not living. And without my Marshall that won't change.

Comment by georgia on December 11, 2017 at 11:42pm

Dear Cristine,

i am sorry for the Cancer diagnoses .

i would like to wish you good luck.

may God be with you.

Comment by Sara Murphy on December 11, 2017 at 9:01pm

David.....One thing I realized after I lost Ken was that I didn't realize I had felt "normal" before.  We all go about our days, going to work, making dinner, weekend plans etc.  Ken and I were very close, did everything together and were basically 2 people living 1 life.  We spent 30 years building that life and still, I didn't realize I felt normal.  I never realized that normal was a feeling until he was gone and my world turned completely upside down.  You, my friend, are not going insane.  I think you too are realizing you no longer feel normal.  People throw around the phrase about finding a new normal very casually but it's not a casual thing to do.  I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable in life again. 

Sending you a hug tonight,

Sara

Comment by Sara Murphy on December 11, 2017 at 8:45pm

Patti...It's funny, we seem to be opposite on the Christmas card thing.  Last year was my first Christmas without Ken but I still sent out cards (though not as many as previous years).  This year, I have the cards to send out but no interest in sending them and really no interest in Christmas whatsoever.  I did have 2 of my nieces over yesterday to make pizzelles as they like doing that.  Watching them grow up is my only reason for being here and I realize how important making memories are.

Comment by David Heggi on December 11, 2017 at 8:01pm

Dear Mary Jane,

You caught me!

I was sitting here staring at this thing waiting for some angel to post - and there you were.  Thank you.

This is when my David and I would sit and discuss our day.  Now it's just me and the box.  It's impossible to reconcile.

Do you, Mary Jane, sometimes feel like you're going insane?

I "know" it's common to think this way; I just want someone to tell me, again.

Your friend,

David H

 

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