Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Patricia Huett Apr 28. 3 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Comment by Christine Blaire on December 24, 2017 at 10:29pm

Mary Jane that was beautiful and I guess I'm some kind of nut's lightly snowing here and I just grabbed a shawl and went outside and listened and said a prayer for my Marshall and for everyone of us to be able to find some kind of peace. This is the worst Christmas ever and you helped a bit. Thank you dear. I hope all who read your post will do the same. I cried but I was able to take a deep breath and slow my breathing. And to quote a special little boy.  " God bless us everyone"

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 24, 2017 at 10:07pm

Hello friends

i wish everyone as happy a Christmas Eve as you can summon up. This site has become so special to me...I can,t thank you enough for being here. I am going to share something I do each year, on Christmas Eve, that I have never told anyone before. Don,t think I am nuttier than you already do...but I do this every year. I never even told BOb about this, cuz he would have scoffed at the whole thing. Here goes:

each Christmas Eve, around 11 or 12 at nite, I go outside...and just LISTEN to the night. It takes about 2 or 3 minutes of clearing my head of everything...but I just listen to the night. I think about all the little kids, who still believe in magic, and the wishes of everyone for a better life...and when I am very still, and listen, I can feel the hearts of people, and the emotions of hope. It isn’t about hope for presents from Santa, or hope by adults for material things, but hope for kindness and a better life,or thanks for the life they have...or hope for a better with kindness and gratitude.

i know it sounds kinda nutty, but when I wait awhile, and listen to the stillness of the night..that special night when we all believe that a better world is possible...I swear you can feel it. At least I do. 

So if you believe me, that it is possible to feel the hope that others feel...I urge you to give it a try. I know that a lot of my feelings come from very small children waiting for Santa..but it isn,t the presents they think he brings, it’s the belief in miracles they still have. To me, it is a bit of magic every year...

and I have NEVER told anyone else about this thing because I know they would just laugh and scoff about it, and I don,t want to hear it.

so Merry Christmas Eve...I wish your dreams realized...and know your partner is with you tonight. Mine is. You just have to believe.

Comment by David Heggi on December 24, 2017 at 9:12pm

There are so many of us who will be hurting tonight and tomorrow.

I just want you all to know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Comment by Sara Murphy on December 24, 2017 at 7:30pm

Wishing my Legacy Family a tolerable (if not Merry) Christmas and a little late but Happy Hanukkah

Comment by David Heggi on December 24, 2017 at 5:53pm

Thank you, Steve.

Humming birds are astonishing creatures.  How can we not know the awesome beauty of God's creation?

Comment by Steve on December 24, 2017 at 5:08pm

Dear Legacy Family,

Something I found recently and thought this would be a good day to share especially since it is Christmas Eve,

Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. The hummingbird's delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life's sweetest creation".

A special wish for everyone on Legacy that each one of us can find peace and comfort during the holiday season.

Comment by David Heggi on December 24, 2017 at 5:00pm

Thank you, Chicago,

Wishing for you peace and love - all the best!

David H

Comment by Chicago Beard on December 24, 2017 at 4:53pm

It is Christmas Eve. Here is hoping that everyone here can find some peace and some semblance of joy this holiday season.

Comment by Chicago Beard on December 24, 2017 at 12:24pm

Mary Jane

Well said!

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 24, 2017 at 10:43am

Ok, kids..this is bout Facebook. My apologies to the wonderful administrators here...but I thought about Facebook a lot yesterday...and it occurred to me wht was really wrong with Bereaved folks going there.

At first, I wanted to post THIS website, and hopefully lead the members over here..but then it occurred to me..if I did that, I would draw attention to we are pretty anonymous. Sure, we have vague ideas where we all reside...and we are able to personally connect with members if we choose to do so..but if I am pouring my heart out on FB,ANYONE reading it, can see my picture, and tho my site is “locked” they can still know what town I grew up in, what schools I went to, what city I live in, who my friends are...this is stuff YOU GUYS don,t even know!

in this day and age, there are very bad people out there, and in our vulnerable states, it would be very easy for anyone to try to friend us...saying they went to school with us, etc, or they have a friend in common with us...or they belong to groups that we do..Some people here live alone and could be very vulnerable to theives, or worse...all from crap that is exposed on FB. Yes, I know there are steps I can probably take to hide all of that..but by someone pretending their own loved one has died...we are waaayyy to quick to open our hearts before our brains. 

Honestly, there could be a bad person HERE...and it would be very easy to gain our trust, but not as easy as FB with all the info we shared without thinking on our general page. 

I don,t know what criteria Legacy uses or if they ever turn anyone away...but the lack of privacy on FB is a huge issue.  When BOb died, I called everyone and told them to NOT even MENTION anything about his death on FB...and if they did, it was removed imeadiately. I DIDN,t even want it mentioned on my friends pages. 

It is a sad world when we have to fear strangers and even friends, but we do. We have to be vigilant in every aspect of our lives. So, I am removing myself from the FB Legacy page.  Sorry Legacy..I know you meant well, but it is just too invasive there. 

This is perfect...and I thank you for this place we can all come to where I can pour my heart out, and y’all understand.


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