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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

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Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 5 Replies

Lost my husband

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Comment by Steve on January 1, 2018 at 1:58pm

Hello All, and a sincere wish for a peaceful and calm New Year.

I have just experienced my first holiday season in Texas after moving so hectically from New Jersey. I have been here only slightly over 1 month, and yet with all that has transpired it seems much longer. I have found and bought a new home, purchased appliances and furnishings to compliment or replace those that were moved from NJ, and received and begun sorting and unpacking the remnants of my former life with my beloved Larry. Seeing our things in such an alien setting is at times unsettling and surreal. I have had a few simple excursions with people here who were in full tilt Christmas mode, and browsed shops finding small decorative items for myself or for gifts meant for my new friends - gentle souls who are trying diligently to make me welcome, but I suspect finding me a it of a puzzle. They Know about my losing Larry, but sometimes reply to my sometimes candidly grief-stricken comments with a quick "Well, isn't is special that you're here now and starting a new life with Steve." I find it hard sometimes to stop from saying something that would probably seem mean or critical, so I usually just smile and say "Of course."

As I put out the few Christmas items we had time to unpack just to make it seem festive, I kept finding myself shutting off my feelings each time I touched one of Larry's favorites - I don't know if that was good or bad for me, but it was definitely necessary. I have been having lots of vivid, emotional, and sometimes upsetting dreams, which I imagine is normal as my subconscious confronts all the inner fears and anxieties I try to suppress daily in my unfamiliar life.   

Comment by David Heggi on January 1, 2018 at 11:35am

Thank you, Mary Jane

Comment by David Heggi on January 1, 2018 at 11:35am

Thank you, Sara

Comment by Carol Kayser on December 31, 2017 at 10:49pm
Hello everyone. I haven’t visited for a while. I saw a post that really touched me from Carol C and I wanted to reply. First though let me wish everyone a blessed New Year’s and a kind 2018.
To my special friend Marsha, thinking of you! To Carol C who posted, my 45 th wedding anniversary is happening as I write this! 45 years ago tonight we were married. My darling Jack and I were very young! It’s been snowing where I live and it was snowing on our wedding eve too.
He passed away in August 2010. It was a good five years before I began to feel like I could handle the loss. The last two years have been up and down but I’m mostly doing well. My 6 yr old granddaughter Abby really helps to fill the rather large hole in my ❤️ I had a friend say to me just recently ‘maybe it’s time to move on’ . Your heart knows what it wants, trust that.

Blessings,
Carol K
Comment by Sara Murphy on December 31, 2017 at 8:22pm

Wishing my Legacy family continued healing in 2018!

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 31, 2017 at 7:33pm

DITTO, everyone. 

May the coming year be a good one, and I wish you all joy, and peace of mind, and miracles of happiness in all of our heartbreak. 

Comment by David Heggi on December 31, 2017 at 4:54pm

Thank you, Chicago.

And wishing you a better year also

Comment by Chicago Beard on December 31, 2017 at 2:56pm

To my legacy family

My wish for you all in 2018 is subsiding pain and loving memories!

Comment by Marsha H on December 30, 2017 at 4:17am

Carol C.  I am so sorry you are having such a rough time, but I completely understand what you are going through.  My dear husband Ernie passed away April, 2011 of pancreatic cancer.  I have managed to eke out a life of sorts, but I know how difficult it can be for many and like you it's during the holidays we still miss them the most.  

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on December 30, 2017 at 4:15am

Wishing you all peace, good health and more laughter in the New Year.

 

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