Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Started by denise. Last reply by Marsha H Oct 25, 2017. 4 Replies

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Comment by Sara Murphy on January 13, 2018 at 9:48pm

Debbie.......You're right, family and friends stop checking on us within a few months.  I think maybe they see us going through the motions to get through a day and assume that means we're ok.  They would be wrong.

Comment by deborah peck on January 13, 2018 at 5:57pm

The dates are so hard, yesterday was 8 months since I last held Greg and its so hard, its also so sad that most of my family doesn't check on my girls  or me anymore, I guess the don't realize the pain has no time limit and we are still just existing

Comment by Marsha H on January 13, 2018 at 3:57pm

Michele ...  Don't give up because one day you will get a visitation from your husband.  He is near you for sure even though you may not hear him or see him.  I have experienced so many things since my beloved Ernie passed away.  

Also, if you have a pet watch the pet.  Animals do see or hear what we can't.  I have 2 small dogs and sometimes they'll be playing and suddenly stop, look at a certain spot and wag their tails and I know Ernie is there then.  I also talk to Ernie every done in my home or in the car at times.  Keeping in contact that way is more apt to help you have a visitation.

From books I've read on people who pass away they say that depending on how ill the person is it takes time for them to rejuvenate themselves before visiting their loved ones.

Comment by Marsha H on January 13, 2018 at 3:53pm

David ... that was such a beautiful story you told and thank you for sharing as it certainly gives us all hope.

Comment by Marsha H on January 13, 2018 at 3:52pm

Sarah ...  I know these Anniversaries are so difficult.  To this very day I get an Anniversary card for Ernie, then get a helium balloon and write love notes on it and take it down to the river he loved and let it fly to the heavens.  Something liberating about that.

I am so happy you did have some visitations from Ken.  After almost 7 years of Ernie's passing although we may not see them or they don't speak to us when I'm at a low point in my life and feel like giving up I can feel him there.  If I need help (I live alone and no children) I will often talk to Ernie out of frustration and believe it or not minutes later the phone rings and it's either my neighbor Dan or a young man that does help me asking if there is anything they can do for me.  It happens all the time so to me that proves our loved ones hear us.

I'll be thinking of you today and wish you another visitation from Ken.  

Comment by David Heggi on January 13, 2018 at 2:14pm

What an amazing visit you had with Ken.  If it happened once, it may happen again - and again... The peace it must bring you to know he's ok, and you are still united.

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 13, 2018 at 1:54pm

Today is the 2 yr anniversary since I lost everything.  My life ended the day I lost Ken. 

I see some posts about visitations and I wish I would have a strong visit from Ken although I did have 2 very quick ones.  First was within a week of his death when I heard him say "hi".  It was about 5am and I heard it enough that I moved my head towards it to see who was there.  The second was a few weeks later, again early morning, when I heard him say "heeey yooou" so long and drawn out as he was trying to get his voice to break through the dimensional walls.  He opened our bedroom door and I sat up and he bent down and we hugged each other.    How I wish I would see him again.

Comment by Michele on January 13, 2018 at 12:49pm

I have been mostly quiet here, and find it very comforting to read how others deal with their grief.  I would like to mention that when my grandfather passed, of course I was very young his spirit came to me bedside and I found it very comforting; definitely a visitation.  It is almost two years that my husband passed and I wish he would visit.  I miss him dearly.

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 13, 2018 at 9:17am

That is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. THankyou..

Comment by David Heggi on January 12, 2018 at 11:18pm

It is personal, Mary Jane, but I'm not afraid to share it: it was a Divine visitation, I was at the lowest point in my life; I prayed, I cried,.I called out for help, and then there He was, all aglow in ethereal white, standing only a few feet away from me.  I will never forget the pure unconditional love that He emanated. He was real; He is real - I'll never forget it ,  The love...


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