Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Latest Conversations: 48 minutes ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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New Member

Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 5 Replies

Lost my husband

Started by Mary Clough. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 99 Replies

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Started by denise. Last reply by Jeanette McSherry Aug 31. 6 Replies

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Comment by Sara Murphy on February 1, 2018 at 9:22pm

Love that Chicago.  It's so on point.  I may post that on my facebook page.

Comment by Marsha H on February 1, 2018 at 3:22pm

Chicago Bear ...  That does pretty much as all of us feel.  I guess people who care about us just have to try to help us all they can when they see the pain in our eyes.

Comment by Chicago Beard on February 1, 2018 at 10:26am

Thought this summed things up very well!

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Comment by Marsha H on February 1, 2018 at 4:12am

Dear Deborah ...  Thank you for caring since you are going through so much yourself and I do appreciate it.  As I told Sarah 'dance in the rain and smile at the sun.'  I feel so blessed I have all of you, a small immediate family, a great-niece and friends.  

I am so glad Deborah you can see what an awesome lady you are with so much wisdom to give and that's why you have to try and make it through each day and believe me it does get easier if you continue to help others and put them first.  I've learned so much compassion from the grief I went through.  I was always kind and a good friend all my life, but this really wised me up when I went through grief and I do learn much from all of you.  Your strengths, your love and compassion of those on this forum.  

I hope your day is a better one as well.  We're going to beat this and I refuse to let anything stand in my way.  

Comment by Marsha H on February 1, 2018 at 4:08am

Dear Sara ...  Thank you so much for caring as usual and rough times are like waves and hit all of us at sometime.  Just makes me angrier and I get going to resolve the problems the best way I can.  Your poem certainly came at a good time for me and thank you for allowing me to print it out.  It's on my fridge and I read it!

I hope things are getting easier for you because I know that although life can throw us curves at times there is much life to enjoy.  Dance in the rain, smile at the sun.

Comment by deborah peck on January 31, 2018 at 11:43pm

Marsha I am sorry you are having a rough time right now, seems like it never stops. You are right about helping other people because it truly does help yourself too. I always tell my girls to look around there is always someone that has it way worse than you do and when you reach outit eases your own pain temporarly. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 31, 2018 at 9:54pm

Marsha......I'm sorry you're having a difficult time right now.  I wish there was something I could do to help.  I'm glad that poem made you feel a bit better.  I certainly don't mind you printing it out.

Comment by Marsha H on January 31, 2018 at 3:42pm

Dear David ...  Thank you for saying such a kind comment and I do try and hopefully can make a difference.  It's been almost 7 years since Ernie passed away and I won't lie, it was tough, but guess the Scottish/Irish in me keeps here to try and help others not only on Legacy, but also in my private life.  To give of oneself whether in emotional pain or not is a wonder gift to 'pay it forward' as I was so lucky to have had a wonderful man in my life for 45 years.  Right now I'm just feeling very lonely, but I'm trying.  I keep busy and again, when you help others you forget about the different emotions one can go through.  

I hope you are doing much better and you as well are so very loving to everyone on this site.  Thank you for that.

Comment by Marsha H on January 31, 2018 at 3:34pm

Dear Christine ...  I am so happy everything went fairly well for you, but do understand your feelings about it all.  I do understand you want to be with your Marshall so very well, but things can change whether you believe that or not.  There are people close to you that love you and want you to go on and I know although everyone is different after almost 7 years since my Ernie passed I finally realized that Ernie would want me to go on and that soon enough we would see each other again and that's when I stepped up to the plate and fought myself up to the surface.  I would be lying if I didn't admit I have had some rough days, but also realized even if Ernie was still here I'd have rough days anyway.  As I told you before whatever your decision is I for one will back you 100%.  One thing I have to say to you because I care is that you've been given a chance to survive this cancer whereas so many people who have cancer never have that choice.  You are given a chance for a reason and you may not realize this right now.  

I live in British Columbia, Canada and Marijuana in different forms is now legal for many diseases including cancer.  I am leaving you a link to all the States in the U.S. that by law can use Marijuana legally.  If you are interested please print the link out if you live in  one of those States and discuss it with your doctor.

I am by no means trying to pressure you on your decision, but grief is an odd thing and some individuals just want to pass away and join their spouse while others think about it for a short time, but realize life is worth living.  I care about you and just don't want you to make the wrong decision.  Please at least read that link and at least think about it.

Thank you for keeping up-to-date on your health for us all with your posts and we're here for you no matter what your decision.

Comment by Marsha H on January 31, 2018 at 3:15pm

Dear Deborah ...  It sounds like you are on top of things, but so important your daughter tries not to grieve in front of him and believe me, I know how difficult that is.  While Ernie was home I would be cheerful around him, but then have 'shower cries.'  We do have to grieve in our own way in order to heal as you know.  It is my pleasure to help and my heart does go out to anyone in a painful situation.  I know your grandson in time will be just fine.


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