Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1372
Latest Conversations: 18 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Mary. Jane on February 9, 2018 at 9:22pm

Well, he DID have a profile page about an hour ago..I should have taken a screen shot of was set to PRIVATE.  I looked up the name...and there is someone very famous with that name..a reknown archeologist (I think). So the name is fake. Odd that his messages DIDN,t show up on my profile page, where they should have. It creeps me out that someone like this is reading our posts.

Normally I wouldn,t be this upset, but I watched Dr Phill today, where this guy from Nigera had been scamming this lady telling her he was Tyler Perry...and the lady had sent him Tons of money...

Comment by Michele on February 9, 2018 at 9:02pm
I just deleted the post.
Comment by Steve Cain on February 9, 2018 at 7:44pm

OK, I just checked again and we don't have a member named Tidane Ndiaye. Now in the bottom right corner of the page there is a place where Legacy members are shown. I saw a name above mine. I checked the name out within our group and they are not.

What that tells me is this Tidane may be a Legacy member, just not in our group.  Now, here is a solution, next to each name, other than yours of course, when you hover on the right, you see an arrow. The arrow gives you the option of finding out about the person, starting a conversation with them, or ignore them.  If you see that name again, just click on Ignore. I hope that helps with the issue.

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 9, 2018 at 7:27pm

I just got the same message that Rebecca did..from a Tidane Ndiaye. The message doesn,t show up on my profile...I think we have a BIG problem. 

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 9, 2018 at 7:16pm

I just got the same message that Rebecca did..from a Tidane Ndiaye. The message doesn,t show up on my profile...I think we have a BIG problem. 

Comment by Marsha H on February 9, 2018 at 4:18pm

Mary.Jane ...  So happy all of us could help you through this heart-breaking time of going through the memories you had with Bob.  You have gotten some excellent advice from many on this site as you already know and appreciate.  Take your time my friend and if you are uncertain of what to give away then pack it up. store it and as Trina says, wait a bit and then go through everything.



Comment by Marsha H on February 9, 2018 at 4:16pm

Dearest Trina ...  Do miracles ever cease!  I was thinking of you last night and wondering how YOU were doing and had every intention this morning of posting to you and there you were, my bright angel!  With all the problems you have you are so sweet to wish me luck on a dating site and I feel I'm going to need a miracle.  As we age it is far more difficult to find someone who can keep up with the other person, but I'll dive in and give it a go.  I am not trying to replace my beloved Ernie at all and I only want to have a nice gentleman to share things with and have a little fun before my time comes.  One is a lonely number, but some people do feel comfortable with being alone.  I am a 'people person' so it's difficult for me to be alone constantly.  I have a small family and a few loyal friends, but they have their lives too.  It's not been easy.

I am so sorry your brother is not well and I can only imagine how difficult it is for you and your sisters, but all of you do is with much love.  Please look after yourself and keep in touch.  Miss you a great deal.  Remember, Joseph is near you in every endeavor you take on.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Steve G. on February 9, 2018 at 10:04am

Dear Mary Jane,

Moving for any one of us is not easy, and my dear sister is in of itself an understatement.  Months before Mark passed our apartment complex advised us that we had to move out at the end of our lease.  They had completed upgrades to literally every apt except ours and the new company left us to do last because we were their longest residents.  We were offered the very unit below ours with all the up grades and we accepted.  Mark passed on November 30th and our scheduled move was January 3rd.  Fortunately, a friend at work notified me a couple of days before the move that she and 3 others from work would be there to handle everything, and so they did, I was tasked with keeping our dog Bella out of the way.

2 years later I find myself moving to New Jersey, retired and knowing that I had to pack and store everything made it simpler, I did not sort out things that I had left undone.

Arriving back in Texas to a new place and having now to sort thru all of my stuff has caught up with me.  I found birthday cards that I had drawn and decorated for Mark and likewise cards from him to me.  I found his journals that he kept on everything from school to day to day living.  I also found 3 old digital cameras, one of which recorded his voice while he was trying to figure out how to use it and the others had photos he took of Bella and things in our apartment.

I thought I was doing so much better, funny how something as simple as hearing his voice brought back all those wonderful and frightful memories in a nano second.

So please be kind to yourself and listen to all the Angels here, they truely have your back and are wise beyond theis own grief.

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 9, 2018 at 9:38am

Thank you all so much...your responses and your advice mean so much to me. I am so grateful for this place. It has prevented a lot of stress, knowing I am not alone in this.

Comment by David Heggi on February 9, 2018 at 9:32am

Mary Jane,

Moving disrupts everything.  When we dig and sort we are bringing up all that we have tried to bury.  I moved two weeks ago, and I am still an emotional and physical wreck;  I had to experience my loss all over again.  Once you are resettled it will all eventually go back where we put it  - not putting Bob back, but the memories that are causing so much pain.


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