Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: on Friday
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2.
Started by Mary Clough. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2.
Started by denise. Last reply by Jeanette McSherry Aug 31.
Dear Mary Jane,
I am again playing catch-up here, and your posts about selling on eBay and making donations really got to me. Like Deb said, the surfacing of feelings of loss are understandable with what you are doing regarding packing and deciding what to keep or eliminate in advance of your move.
I went through all this leaving our house last year, and know very well how tiring, as well as emotionally draining it all gets. If Steve hadn't moved to NJ to help me I would probably still be sitting there surrounded by half-packed boxes "stuck" reading old letters and cards, or weeping over photos.
I was forced to make some hard choices and try not to look back wondering if they were the right ones. I know we sacrificed much value-wise in the donations and gifts we made - time was pressing and all we wanted was out by the closing date! I hope you and your daughter continue with the tremendous progress you have made. It sounds very organized and well thought out - kudos to you both!
I brought my entire doll collection with me to TX, and am now selling items through a rented showcase in a local antique mall. It is going well, and the small size of the display keeps it manageable for me, both labor-wise and emotionally. I haven't tried selling on eBay, but your success makes me think I may eventually try it. I will follow your example if I do so and start with just 1 or 2 items. Best of luck and congratulations!
Well, I'll stop here for now and hope to post more to everyone over the weekend - it's terribly hot here and I too find myself easily exhausted by even the least activities!
Be well, and sending prayers and hugs -
Debbie.....I'm glad you were able to enjoy yourself. I know Greg is happy about that too.
Awesome. I am really happy u had a good time!
Went to meet up with some former work friends last night for a drink, almost cancelled, is inly the 2nd time in a year that Ive gone out with friends but I really enjoyed myself and cant wait to do it again
Thank you, Deb. ThT was a very sweet thing to say.
Mary Jane, of course you are having feelings of loss, you are starting a new chapter in your life book that doesnt include your husband, new beginnings are hard at any point in our lifes but a total new start is truly difficult . But you are going to do great, I feel it, once you get all this packing done you will feel so much better and you will be taking all those years of good memories with you so you will never truly be without him, prayers coming your way
Thanks Marsha. I sold both items..for reasonable prices..I was so anxious! A little thing like this? Omg...why would I be afraid? Then as I started to print the 1st shipping label, the printer wouldn,t work...so it took me 40 mins to print the label last night,.this morning the other person paid and it took me less than 2 seconds. I almost gave up...but I dunno yet. My daughter is coming We’d...to go thru more closets and stuff..it is 90 degrees , it is Spring and spring brings heat and insects. The heat sucks the life out of me. I am SOOOO looking forward. To the weather in the SF Bay Area.
Also, for some reasons, I have been having a lot of feelings of “LOSS” episodes...why now? I can,t move forward, and there is no going back.
Mary.Jane ... You have been a busy girl! I have lots of things that I think are of value and I scrutinize them and look what I can up on Google. If you have vinyl records for instance that are fairly old check it out as they can be worth something. I have several. Long process checking things out, but worth it.
With Bob hoarding all the more reason to tread carefully as I'm sure some of what he has bought is worth something. I bought a Jade ring cut like a diamond at an antique store for $40 and I took it in to be appraised and the jewelry there was astonished to see the rarity of the cut and the ring is much more expensive than I bought it for.
Men's tools that are old are a rarity. Just some hints for you. Hope it helps.
(By “unbearable to be in the garage” ,I meant the HEAT,not the bugs LOL)
Well, both my items have bids! One is so cool, I really hate to sell it..but there is SOOOO much stuff lying around the house that my daughter and I kept to sell...the rest of it went as follows: we took about 20 huge boxes to my SIL to sell at a garage sale, and we donated at LEAST that many boxes to the Goodwill...there is one a few blocks from my house. It took us four trips.
my daughter will be here next WED to go through 2 closets, and the last 20boxes from the attic that we were too burnt out to finish. Unfortunately, summer has come early here in OK, the spiders are in the garage, and we will have to sort the stuff in there around 6 am b4 it gets unbearable just to b out there.
Bob was an artist, and we have big bookshelves with hundreds of books on artists...that I might try to donate to schools or libraries, but we have to check each one for nudity...this is Oklahoma, and you can buy a GUN at any local store, and carry it around, but anything vaguely sexual is a NO NO!
During about 20 years of our marriage for fun, we would go to garage sales...and junk stores, and BOb mostly would buy ALL this stuff that through researching books (there was no internet then) he would buy things he thought would “be worth something, someday”. This was his way of preparing for the future. But, It got to the point of hoarding. So I have no attachment to most of this stuff..but researching it takes forever..AND, when we go thru the boxes, every once in awhile, I found something that was ours..like a glass bowl we had on our coffee table when we first got married....which I am keeping..that part is very hard.
unfortunately, the antique market has really TANKED! I don,t know what people are buying lately, but even the Antique Roadshow mentioned stuff is selling for HALF the price it would have 10 years ago. So I just have to hope for the best.
sorry, I DIDN,t mean for this post to be so long.
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