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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Richard Gordon Jun 1. 4 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Comment by Charles E. Nelson on June 2, 2018 at 1:50pm

Dear Sara,

I've had a rather emotionally draining week, so just now saw your post from Wednesday about the feather. I have to ring in and agree with Marsha, Trina, and Mary Beth - signs I still receive from Larry to let me know he's with me  are too timely and out-of-place to ignore. As Trina says, it doesn't matter what others think - when I see or hear something and instantly feel Larry's presence to calm or encourage me, I do not need anyone elses' validation. Feathers continue to be the most common of these, echoing back to the first one he sent in 2015. There was another this morning, and reading your post just made it clear all over again. We are not imagining things, nor are we deranged in any sense of the word. 

Keep believing in your close connection with Ken, because in your heart you know it is real - nothing else matters.

Be well, and sending you a hug from sweltering Texas!

Love, Chuck

Comment by DJ on June 2, 2018 at 12:37pm

Hey Pete, long time no see... I'm glad you still have a good attitude, in spite of everything.

Chicago & Pete: I wish you best memories of your respective Rose.

DJ

Comment by deborah peck on June 2, 2018 at 11:32am

Mary Jane see if your hospital has help for people that cant drive, my brother had it set up to be picked up and taken home from hospital, something they provided, good luck with it all I hope and pray it turns out to be nothing

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 2, 2018 at 9:36am

Thank you Pete..it is nice to know I am not alone in my difficulties. 

My heart goes out to you and also an apology to you, Beard, as I DIDN,t see your post about Rose and your anniversary until after I responded to your previous post.

two Roses, two anniversaries. God bless both of you, Pete and Beard. This June 17th will be my 51st anniversary.

Trina, thank you.

it has been a very emotional week..Melinda cleaned out the rest of the garage, and two spare rooms, where I had stashed 50 years of boxed momentos in at least 60 + boxes. I had no idea what we would find...old letters, poems, photos..papers we had to shred..the more we found the more I shut down. We donated hundreds of collectables, I just don,t care anymore or have the strength to sell them. 

Thank you for letting me vent. Hope everyone has a nice weekend.it is nearly 100 and muggy here...life sucking weather.

Comment by Pete Bronson on June 2, 2018 at 9:05am

Beard,

I quietly let my 37th anniversary with my Rose pass on Tuesday the 29th. I was difficult to get through but it past without major incident. I find by staying completely immersed in the challenges of the day helps keep me distracted enough to get through these type of days.

I have undergone several medical procedures and hospitalizations since being alone. It is tough when you are asked to have someone come with you or if anyone will be able to stay with you for a day or 2 and you have no one. It is even tougher when you can not drive yourself. I do not see well enough to drive any longer due to diabetes. But life goes on, there is always someone worse off than yourself, we just need to be thankful for what we had and currently have.

Hope everyone here finds some peace and happiness.

Pete

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 2, 2018 at 12:41am

Dear Mary Jane,

Thinking of you at this trying time as you face the procedure alone  and the thought of what difficulties it might entail. Sending you encouraging thoughts and prayers for your speedy recovery.

Hugs, Trina

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 2, 2018 at 12:37am

Chicago Beard,

Sending you healing vibes and thoughts on what would have been your 38th anniversary with Rose. It's wonderful that Rose played a prank on you to let you know that she was visiting you on this special day. I am sure it brought a huge smile to your face. Be well.

Warm wishes, Trina

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 1, 2018 at 11:38pm

Thank you for your kind reply ,Beard. It’s not the procedure I worry about, as I  have had one b4..it is the problem of logistics, finding someone to take and stay with me for the procedure...and check on me later...I think they have improved in the last 10 years, so I shouldn,t b “out of it” after...but I don,t know...and I it scares me so much...and if it turns out to be bad I fear not being able to get the HE11 out of Oklahoma, and go back home to California.

i don,t want to die here. Hopefully everything will b ok...as I always have. ( NOTE...TMI coming....)  problems from being constipated from the. Meds I have to take for my arthritis..and I think that is where/ how the blood came from. I hope so.

again I really am honored by your response, Beard.

Comment by Chicago Beard on June 1, 2018 at 11:31pm

Hello friends

Today would have been our 38th anniversary. My current lady is across country visiting her children so I had to deal with my memories alone. I believe my Rose was with me today and played a prank on me to let me know. I would say what happened but since it involved my ostomy bag details are not necessary. Be well everyone.

Comment by Chicago Beard on May 31, 2018 at 12:42pm

Mary Jane

Having suffered with Ulcerative Colitis for over 10 years before I had my colon removed and have an Ileostomy I have had quite a few colonoscopies. The prep is much worse  than the procedure because they sedate you for the procedure. However, the stuff they have you drink to clear yourself out had to have been created by a descendant of the Marquis de Sade! Hang in there. I dealt with all this while my Rose was dieing and   after she passed. You can do this.

 

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