Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Richard Gordon Jun 1. 4 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Comment by Sara Murphy on May 26, 2018 at 10:24am

Debbie.....I'm glad you were able to enjoy yourself.   I know Greg is happy about that too. 

Comment by Mary. Jane on May 25, 2018 at 1:37pm

Awesome. I am really happy u had a good time!

Comment by deborah peck on May 25, 2018 at 11:03am

Went to meet up with some former work friends last night for a drink, almost cancelled, is inly the 2nd time in a year that Ive gone out with friends but I really enjoyed myself and cant wait to do it again

Comment by Mary. Jane on May 22, 2018 at 10:11pm

Thank you, Deb. ThT was a very sweet thing to say. 

Comment by deborah peck on May 22, 2018 at 8:13am

Mary Jane, of course you are having feelings of loss, you are starting a new chapter in your life book that doesnt include your husband, new beginnings are hard at any point in our lifes but a total new start is truly difficult . But you are going to do great, I feel it, once you get all this packing done you will feel so much better and you will be taking all those years of good memories with you so you will never truly be without him, prayers coming your way

Comment by Mary. Jane on May 21, 2018 at 9:46pm

Thanks Marsha. I sold both items..for reasonable prices..I was so anxious! A little thing like this? Omg...why would I be afraid? Then as I started to print the 1st shipping label, the printer wouldn,t it took me 40 mins to print the label last night,.this morning the other person paid and it took me less than 2 seconds. I almost gave up...but I dunno yet. My daughter is coming We’ go thru more closets and is 90 degrees , it is Spring and spring brings heat and insects. The heat sucks the life out of me. I am SOOOO looking forward. To the weather in the SF Bay Area. 

Also, for some reasons, I have been having a lot of feelings of “LOSS” episodes...why now? I can,t move forward, and there is no going back. 

Comment by Marsha H on May 21, 2018 at 4:24pm

Mary.Jane ...  You have been a busy girl!  I have lots of things that I think are of value and I scrutinize them and look what I can up on Google.  If you have vinyl records for instance that are fairly old check it out as they can be worth something.  I have several.  Long process checking things out, but worth it.  

With Bob hoarding all the more reason to tread carefully as I'm sure some of what he has bought is worth something.  I bought a Jade ring cut like a diamond at an antique store for $40 and I took it in to be appraised and the jewelry there was astonished to see the rarity of the cut and the ring is much more expensive than I bought it for.  

Men's tools that are old are a rarity.  Just some hints for you.  Hope it helps.  


Comment by Mary. Jane on May 18, 2018 at 1:57pm

(By “unbearable to be in the garage” ,I meant the HEAT,not the bugs LOL)

Comment by Mary. Jane on May 18, 2018 at 1:53pm

Well, both my items have bids!  One is so cool, I really hate to sell it..but there is SOOOO much stuff lying around the house that my daughter and I kept to sell...the rest of it went as follows: we took about 20 huge boxes to my SIL to sell at a garage sale, and we donated at LEAST that many boxes to the Goodwill...there is one a few blocks from my house. It took us four trips.

my daughter will be here next WED to go through 2 closets, and the last 20boxes from the attic that we were too burnt out to finish. Unfortunately, summer has come early here in OK, the spiders are in the garage, and we will have to sort the stuff in there around 6 am b4 it gets unbearable just to b out there. 

Bob was an artist, and we have big bookshelves with hundreds of books on artists...that I might try to donate to schools or libraries, but we have to check each one for nudity...this is Oklahoma, and you can buy a GUN at any local store, and carry it around, but anything vaguely sexual is a NO NO! 

During about 20 years of our marriage for fun, we would go to garage sales...and junk stores, and BOb mostly would buy ALL this stuff that through researching books (there was no internet then) he would buy things he thought would “be worth something, someday”. This was his way of preparing for the future. But, It got to the point of hoarding. So I have no attachment to most of this stuff..but researching it takes forever..AND, when we go thru the boxes, every once in awhile, I found something that was a glass bowl we had on our coffee table when we first got married....which I am keeping..that part is very hard.

unfortunately, the antique market has really TANKED!  I don,t know what people are buying lately, but even the Antique Roadshow mentioned stuff is selling for HALF the price it would have 10 years ago. So I just have to hope for the best.

sorry, I DIDN,t mean for this post to be so long. 

Comment by Mary. Jane on May 18, 2018 at 1:21pm

Yes, Sara...that was exactly what I thought, and was going to mention it. I KNOW it was BOb!


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