Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1368
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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 16. 4 Replies

New Member

Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2, 2018. 5 Replies

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Comment by DJ on June 7, 2018 at 11:46pm

Chicago Beard: memories are truly treasures!  When we were on the road, and I was driving, my wife would say she was my "precious cargo" - indeed, and always my treasure.

Comment by Pete Bronson on June 7, 2018 at 5:49pm

Hello DJ like the song goes "You got to keep on smiling, just keep on smiling!". It is very difficult to be positive through all the adversity but it sure beats wallowing through self pity and negativity. A very wise man once told me life is what happens when you are making other plans, he was 110% correct.

Hello Sara I try to read all the notifications on my good eyesight days. I do not comment much but I am usually lurching somewhere.

No Mary Jane you are not alone, there are many like us and always someone worse off. You should contact your local senior center and Human Resource Agency. They are usually very good about helping find resources you need for your unique situation. Most Hospitals and Medical Centers usually have a volunteer network also. Sometimes a few phone calls changes everything you are concerned about. Do not fear asking to speak to a social worker about your needs, that is what these folks do and most are very good at it and ever so caring.


Comment by Chicago Beard on June 7, 2018 at 11:10am

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Comment by Mary. Jane on June 5, 2018 at 1:56pm

It’s really hard to type these tiny words when you’re crying. 

I agree...fate brought us all here, but we stay because of each other...

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on June 5, 2018 at 1:22pm

Dear Mary Jane,

OK, you have to stop making me cry! with all the kind things you say about Steve and I, I just reiterate your words that all the mambers of this very special family are totally involved and sincere in our caring for each other. I remember some of the incredible offers, like the one from Marsha to grab a plane and head north if I lost my home - something I thought was a distinct possibility for the first few months after Larry passed.

This was Steve's suggestion first, and when he asked me about it all I could do was to say "That, sir, is just so like you that I don't have words to reply except of course yes!"

We would love meeting you face-to-face someday, as we feel about everyone here. But absent that, you are all so imbeded in my heart that I fear you'll never get rid of me, or our Steve.

Love to all, and be well Mary Jane - as dear Marsha says, you will be fine and are being watched over by Bob, and many many angels.

Love, Chuck

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 5, 2018 at 11:51am

Aren,t they? Omg, we here are so blessed to have such wonderful people here...the first time I ever came here, something about them touched me, and Chuck was the first person I reached out to. 

I have told my daughter and close friends about this site, and how blessed we all are to have found each other..

but never in my entire life have I received such a wonderful, kind and generous gesture as the one from Chuck and Steve. I will always treasure it, and it will remain the kindest thing anyone has ever suggested. THankyou guys for being such amazing, wonderful people...u have kinda restored my faith in humans. Big time.

Comment by deborah peck on June 5, 2018 at 10:33am

Steve, you and Chuck are one of a kind, that is what this sight is all about, total support for each other, thank you for being you

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 3, 2018 at 2:10pm

OMG, that is the sweetest offer I have ever received! But, good neighbor is going to take me! She offered last fact she was disappointed I was hesitant to ask her!

i cannot tell you both how much that means to me. And if you ever did come, for a visit, of course you would b welcome in mt guest room. 

I know this is a short reply, but I am just headed off for a nap. Melinda just left, and my EBV has never ever been worse than right now. This is the highest fever I have ever had with this. The last 10 days were more difficult than when Bob died. So much stress and emotion. I am going to lie down now with my kitty and dream about you and Steve and how blessed I am to have you two as friends. 


Comment by Steve G. on June 3, 2018 at 2:01pm

Mary.Jane...I have been catching up on all the posts and just wanted to throw this out to you.  Chuck and I live outside of Dallas, TX, which I think is about 4 1/2 hours south of Tulsa, OK.  With very little planning, we could drive north late one afternoon, spend the night at a local motel, meet up with you the next morning and get you to and from the place you need to have your procedure.  This is an official offer with no expiration date or time and in no way are there any strings attached; nor should you assume that this would be in any way putting any burden on us.  We would enjoy the opportunity to assist a sister in need at anytime.  I love to drive and we both love to travel...

 Please keep this offer tucked away somewhere safe and easy to find and should you want to take advantage of this, all you have to do is send Chuck an Email with the dates and time.  We can then plan and coordinate everything else.  Besides, it would be really great to meet face to face and spend time talking.  Our time is our own and we can make and change plans on a dime....

Your brothers,

Steve and Chuck 

Comment by Marsha H on June 3, 2018 at 4:42am

Mary.Jane ...  I am praying for you that all will go well.  So many things can cause bleeding in that area and it can be just fissures (little cracks ...  you know where.  LOL)  Sometimes it's an inward hemorrhoid or you may have pollpps which are very common and most are not cancerous at all.  My girlfriend has had several removed.  Try not to think the worst (easy for me to say, difficult to do.)  Your doctor is just being what he should be ... extra careful.  My brother also just had pollops removed and all was well.

As far as you being alone how I do understand that as I'm in the same situation you are.  I believe Sara mentioned that there are special pick-ups for those that have to go to the hospital for tests, minor surgery and bring you home again.  Phone the hospital and explain your situation.  Generally the anesthetic isn't strong although they wouldn't want you to drive, but you don't drive anyway.  If you have a neighbor don't feel bad asking if they can keep an eye on you and check in on you.   Just wish your daughter could stay with you a few days.

Big hugs



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