Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 1 hour ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Celina 1 hour ago.
Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2.
Started by Mary Clough. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2.
Just to let EVERYONE. know I'M OKAY, I've been in a hard and dark place, but I'm okay, I have to go thru this pain to come out a sane person.
Love you sister, Patty
HA!!!! I forgot the link!!!!!!!
I found this article one month into my grief journey (it's been 6 months now) and I found it very comforting. Just my humble opinion, so I wanted to pass this along. I hope it may offer someone else some comfort.
Peace to all
I so agree with you in hoping that everything we share here gives hope and encouragement to anyone reaching for some understanding of their pain and loneliness upon losing their beloved - whether spouse, partner, or friend. I concur too with your belief that we can learn from our losses - about ourselves, about those left still around us, and especially about love.
I was in the hospital when my husband Larry passed, and sometime within the first 48 hours I was asked a question by a nurse. The entire hospital staff was aware of what had transpired, and I honestly felt like I was surrounded by angels every minute. Voices were filled with concern and quiet respect, from the housekeepers to the kitchen service. The question was asked by one particularly kind nurse who had been taking care of Larry as well as myself during her rotations to different floors and departments. She asked if I was mad at God, because she would understand if I felt that way. I remember pausing before answering her to actually search my heart. Finally I looked her in the eye and quietly said "No, I'm not mad at God. I just ask Him to give me the strength to get through this, because I know I can't do it without help."
That's the way I still feel, and in finding Legacy and this loving family, He certainly did direct me where my request was answered favorably.
Peace to you tonight Diamond, and thank you for sharing your uplifting thoughts -
Stephanie, sadly, I can top this. A very close friends husband has a doctorate in research, and about 7 years ago, he was working for a research Corp that had been developing a specific drug that targeted a certain type of cancer..(I don,t know what specific type cancer it was.) he was there for about ten years..researching and testing, developing, etc...and the results were wonderful. After around 10 years, in a blind study, 90% or more of the patients who were given this drug were cancer free, or on the way to being so. It was wonderful! It was a miracle! The drug was proven to work, there was joy among the Drs...they were done with the research, it was submitted to the FDA, they were just waiting on the FDAs approval to release this medicine. Joy abounded. Bob and I even bought stock in the company..this was a sure thing...sick people who once had no hope got well! What could go wrong???
Unbelievably, the FDA. DENYED the patent..and scrapped the tests. The reason? It was such a rare type of cancer, this drug cured, the FDA deemed it NOT PROFITABLE to grant whatever they grant to drug companies. The company, the drs the patients were absolutely STUNNED! They tried to fight it, but Big Pharma won. The company dissolved, the formerly elated research team went their separate ways, and I have no idea what happened after that. The drug wasn,t developed for the market. The ONLY joy that came from this miracle was the test patients were cancer free.it still shocks me to even write about it here. It was a HUGE wake up call for so many people..it is all about $$$$$$$$, not curing cancer.
Andnow, also, the drugs that DO make it to the market and get FDA approval have vague test results. They used to test drugs on people, or prisoners that volunteered..but now, not so much. Big Pharma figures if a few thousand people die from New marketed drugs, it is considered collateral damage..and the money they are making off the patients who take these drugs is worth people who are dying anyway, die sooner from side effects of these new drugs.
“Oh well” just listen to the meds advertised on TV (which is illegal in a majority of other countries..but not HERE! Push this drugs...get that money..that is all they think of. It was a HUGE wake up call for a lot of people involved in caring for these sick people, and for friends, and investors like Bob and I we never viewed the world quite the same again. Our disalusionment and disappointment for our tiny INvolment in a cure for cancer was palatable, and heart breaking..that money trumped life.
As for my friend the research Dr...he found another job..researching skin creams for a cosmetic company..but it was not what he went to school for..and something died in him after this. He wanted to “make a difference “ all his life, and this kicked him in the teeth. This is what our world has become.
Diamond, I agree with you, that was well said...but since I lost my husband, I seem to be obsessed with trying to SAVE everyone else from dying...my family,friends, even my CAT. Realistically, I know people die...and the older I get, I understand that it is the “circle of life”, but that doesn,t help my fears. if I don,t hear from my daughter all day, my brain goes to the worst case scenario...and my cat, who is my baby, is an older kitty..and I want him to live at least 20 years...yeah, I know..he could die at anytime..so I pray he doesn,t die instantly, as that would send me over the edge.
Am I the only one who feels this way? I want to gather everyone I know, and be able to protect them from dying. And that is a huge cause of my daily fear and stress, as it is a impossible mission, and only God can do that.
I just wanted to post a link to an interesting article from NPR:
Peace to my grief brothers and sisters
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