Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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New Member

Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 5 Replies

Lost my husband

Started by Mary Clough. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 99 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on July 14, 2018 at 4:16pm

Deborah ...  Like you, I always kiss my husband's picture on the mantle each morning and before I go to bed.  There is some peace in doing this and it's all normal.  Grief is an odd adventure in people's lives and there is so many emotions and so many things to do after a loved one passes away time does seem to fly by without us knowing it, but our brains only seem to remind us of the long haul of grief.  It has been 7 years since my Ernie passed away and I can't believe it's that long and I'm still here!  Yet in ways it seems the grief journey and turmoil of emotions has been one long haul and goes on forever.  I now find I'm eking out some type of life for myself and now when I look at pictures of Ernie, I smile and out loud to him say, 'Hon, we had the time of our lives while it lasted.'  

Odd you should mention the Bluebird.  The day Ernie passed away and I came home wandering aimlessly through the gardens a Blue Jay (which we never get around our home) swooping down and dropped a beautiful blue feather which I still have.  It was as if Ernie was saying, 'Hon, I made it and feel great!'  I felt peaceful after that, but at the same time wish I was with him.  I have no doubt at all that you seeing that Bluebird was your husband letting you know you did everything you could and he was at peace and happy.  I'm happy for you that you received this message.



Comment by deborah peck on July 14, 2018 at 3:45pm

Most of you know that I have been having a hard time lately, yesterday two things happened, I always tell my husbands ashes good morning and my plans for the day, yesterday I told him I cant believe its been a year already and I went into a complete panic, It was like I really didn't realize it until I said it to him, its been 14 months, you would thing that I would of figured it out by now. Th other thing was when he first passed I told him that if I saw a bluebird at our feeders that I would know it was him sice he always wanted to see one but never had, well yesterday I was talking to my granddaughter that I really needed to know he was okay and was there anything I could've done differently to save him, now mind you I had yet to see a bluebird,, so I opened my door maybe an hour later and there sat a bluebird at my feeder, I know it was him telling me everything is good and he is here, was such a good feeling

Comment by deborah peck on July 14, 2018 at 10:33am

Sara, I am so sorry to hear about uour dad, we are all here to help anyway we can, take care of yourself

Comment by Mary. Jane on July 13, 2018 at 9:31am

Todd, I don,t know you, but I have to comment on the picture of the sculpture you shared . Omg...I have felt exactly like that more days than not....and still do, tho it is getting better in the 2 years and 5 months since Bob died, after 49 years of marriage. 

Somehing clicked into my mind, when I first saw it..I wonder if Paul Simon had seen this before he wrote these words from the song GRACELAND: “loosing love is like a window in your heart. Everybody sees you’re blown apart..everybody feels the wind blow” 

As I looked through the large opening, and his desolate pose, that song came to mind. Now I understand...Thank you for sharing it. 

Mary Jane

Comment by Steve on July 13, 2018 at 8:30am

Thank you Todd for the picture, very powerful.  Nice to hear from you sir, gives me an opportunity to say thanks to you for your support when I found this wonderful site of caring souls.

Thank You


Comment by Steve on July 13, 2018 at 8:27am


My heart and spirit grieves with you today dear sister.  Words alone are not sufficient enough to console this loss.  I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.  Be kind to yourself and stay connected, we are all here for you.

Peace and hugs

Your brother Steve

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on July 13, 2018 at 7:18am

Dear Todd,

It is so good to hear from you - I so often think of the friends who have made such a difference for me in this family, and hope they are well and finding their way.

The sculpture is spot-on, and thank you for sharing it.

Be well and wishing you peace -

Love, Chuck

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on July 13, 2018 at 7:15am

Dear Sara,

I am so sorry for the loss of your father. I know it will be so difficult trying to be strong for your mother, and all you can say to her is the truth - she will appreciate that.

My prayers for you and your family - wishing you some moments of peace as the next days unfold.

Love, Chuck

Comment by Diane C on July 13, 2018 at 6:01am


The sculpture is beautiful and so perfect. Obviously the artist has had some great loss in his life. Even the backdrop adds to the impact.

Thank you!

Comment by Diane C on July 13, 2018 at 5:59am

Oh my gosh Sarah,

I am so sorry to hear of your Dad's passing! I read through the posts and missed that one. I apologize for the lateness of my last post. You are in my thoughts and prayers...


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