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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

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New Member

Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 5 Replies

Lost my husband

Started by Mary Clough. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 99 Replies

New member

Started by denise. Last reply by Jeanette McSherry Aug 31. 6 Replies

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Comment by Trina Mamoon on August 25, 2018 at 5:40pm

Dear Marsha,

I had been concerned with your long silence and been meaning to write to ask if all is well with you. So it's really good to get this beautiful gift of a song from you! It helped soothe me; the nature video that goes with it is also calming. Thank you for bringing some relief to my sad Saturday afternoon as I consider the sorry options to spend the weekend. 

You are such a wonderfully giving person! Your posts are uplifting and are meant to help the rest of us make it through the day. I always look forward to your messages and posts. So again, thank you for bringing some relief.

Stay well, my dear friend.

Big hugs, Trina

Comment by Trina Mamoon on August 25, 2018 at 5:32pm

Dear Brother Steve,

So sorry to learn of this distressing news of your health problems. I am praying that the side effects of Humira are not what you might be fearing. I know you are a very strong person, and with your faith, you are equal to any fight that you might have to fight. 

Sending you prayers for strength and courage.

Hugs, Trina

Comment by Steve on August 25, 2018 at 11:34am

Dear Marsha,

Thank you for the song…your choice of music always delights me and takes me back to the real world we live in, we just have to ” stop and smell the roses ”.

“There will always be a reason why you meet people, either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs.”

Angel Flonis Harefa

To all my Legacy family,

As some of you know I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis a few months ago. My doctor started me on a regime of treatments that are designed to halt the progress and to ultimately allow me to regain more mobility with my right hand. One of the medications is Humira, taken by injection every two weeks. Humira is designed to stop one’s immune system from producing the proteins that cause the arthritis to attack certain joints, it also comes with a litany of side effects and warnings. The odds of all these side effects would be something like one in a million. 9 years ago, I had prostrate cancer and had to have my prostrate removed. I was told that after 5 years, my PSA blood test should be and remain to be 0. Also, that any cells left from the surgery could remain dormant, and as the years pass by my odds of a re-occurrence would continue to diminish.
One month of use Humira my blood work shows a positive PSA of 1.96 and one week later 2.11, so it may be returning. I visited with an Oncologist this past Thursday, he took more blood and discussed with me and Chuck that there is a strong possibility that Humira has caused this. May be nothing more than that, however, he wants me to come back on the 7th of next month to review my blood work and to talk about scheduling me for a pet scan to see if they can find any cancer cells. If they do, then he will start me on radiation treatments to stop it in its track.
I am better this morning than I was yesterday, and I am asking my family to keep me in your prayers. I feel certain that should I have to fight this cancer again, our Eternal Father will be there in control, its not for me to question why or what, I just have to trust and have faith that He has brought me through so much more in my life.

Your brother,
Steve

Comment by deborah peck on August 25, 2018 at 11:15am

Beautiful Marsha, I hope you don't mind, I shared the song to my niece as today is the 3rd anniversary of her 15 year old sons death, hoping it brings them peace as it did me

Comment by Marsha H on August 25, 2018 at 6:00am

My dear angels ...  I apologize for not being on Legacy for awhile, but not been getting anything through my email so I assumed no one was posting.

I am leaving you with this beautiful music to soothe your souls and to remind you, that those of you who feel lonely, heartbroken and wondering if the pain will ever end, it will.  In this busy world we live in please take the time out and blend with nature as this video shows and remember your spouses are only a breath away when you stop and see the magic of nature.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59NoadrxBAs

Much love

Marsha

Comment by Sheri Dettman on August 24, 2018 at 11:56pm

Jeanette,

Yes, it's all the unanswered questions that drive us all crazy. Even though we know there are never going to be any answers. It's two years tomorrow, Aug. 25th, that my Bill died of a glioblastoma. Hearing that John McCain has stopped treatment, and knowing what they are going through brought me to tears this morning. And yes, there are always TV shows, movies, books, etc...that we would never have thought twice about in the past, but they have so much more meaning now. All we can do is keep on breathing. I'm going out of the country first thing in the AM as a distraction. Going to go to Spain, where I've never been, and just get out of Dodge for a couple of weeks. You've come to a good place here. The people are fantastic, and you'll get a lot of relief from being able to share.

Comment by Jeanette McSherry on August 24, 2018 at 8:20pm

Two month anniversary of my husband's death today. To distract myself I went to a blue grass concert. (I don't even like bluegrass).  The weather was so beautiful tho - a slight chill in the air. But it seems only couples from 60 up like bluegrass so I'm looking at all these couples and the tears came... so I had to leave. My entire town seems to be retirees. To make matters even worse one of the t.v. dramas showed a person who'd been in a coma for 8 months waking up. Boy did that open a can of worms.  Considering the doctor couldn't even fill out a form to get the death certificate correct....I wonder if I should have gotten a second opinion. What if...  What if?

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on August 24, 2018 at 12:28am

Dear DJ,

Your words, that your wife deserves to be remembered at her best, not your worst, went so directly to my heart and gave me a tremendous amount of comfort and guidance. I shall always remember them when I am getting pulled into the web of self-recrimination over Larry's last days and the many ways I feel I failed him.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I am sure many other family here feel just as grateful as I do for your sharing that lovely thought.

God Bless You -

Love, Chuck

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on August 24, 2018 at 12:24am

Dear Sara,

Thank you - you always say what I need to hear to make me feel better. Yes, the Texas heat some days knocked the stuffing out of me, but I think I am adapting. I will never lose my preference for cooler summer nights with breezes and the sound of the leaves rustling in the trees  - memories of times in the Berkshire mountains in Mass. when I was a boy sitting on an old porch swing watching the lightning bugs under the pines in the yard.

I don't think I will ever visit any medical office for the rest of my days without remembering 2015 and the months leading up to April 22nd. I can mostly get through them now without tears, but just barely.

I hope the days are getting a little easier for you now. Losing your father and then your operation must have been so difficult, and I completely understand your aversion to watching medical shows on TV.

Your prayers are so greatly appreciated, as is your support and friendship. Be well my friend -

Love,

Chuck

Comment by Sara Murphy on August 23, 2018 at 9:49pm

Steve.....thanks for posting this poem.  I like and need the reminder

 

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