Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1373
Latest Conversations: Jan 20

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on November 15, 2018 at 12:10pm

Well, I might b able to help u with the I haven,t used mine in YEARS! It is only me, and it takes me less than 3 mins to do them by hand.i am sorry u r having to go thru all this, but after I started hand washing them, I realized there was something sort of comforting in hand washing them..and I make sure nothing sticks to them, and it doesn,t take an hour or more..unless  u r entertaining, lol

Comment by Sara Murphy on November 15, 2018 at 11:30am

Mary Jane.......I'm pretty much in the same boat as you with everything "breaking" at once and all of it expensive.  A few weeks ago I had a large dead oak tree that was on my front lawn cut down before the wind blew it down.  I've been getting quotes to have the roof re-done and finally signed a contract.  That sure isn't cheap but Ken and I had talked about doing it before he passed and now it's almost 3 years later so it really needs to happen.  I also need a new dishwasher now and my refrigerator which is about 25 years old also needs to be replaced but I'm hoping to put that off til spring.  I really hate having to take care of everything myself. 

Comment by deborah peck on November 12, 2018 at 12:01pm

Mary Jane, I too miss hearing from everyone. sounds like your hands are full right now and not with good things. I have to have surgery again because of skin cancer, since Greg has passed I have 3 major ones on my nose, a melanoma on my neck, a squamous on my shoulder and now on my leg, what the heck is going on, doc said I am predestined (sp?) for melanomas, that's great but on the good side so far its all treatable. Its snowing here too but I love snow as long as I don't have to go anywhere! I cant wait till I will get my memory back too, I hate being like this. Today marks 18 months since Greg passed and it is unreal to me still that heisnt here and all the memories from now on are without him. My 4 year old grandson asked me if his paw paw and I were married, I replied yes and he said paw paw isn't here, too hard for him to understand and he is crying in his sleep now and calling for him, poor baby, what a mess.he seems like hes as confused as I am. ughh. well enough griping for one day, love to you all and Sheri ,I am so happy for you

Comment by Mary. Jane on November 12, 2018 at 10:13am

One last thing..some memory is returning. A lot! I am remembering tons of weird things..Names of people I haven,t thought of in years, where I put something..(that is a like I have been asleep for a very long time...and all this random crap is flooding my brain. Mostly useless the name of an actor, or someone I went to school with..I guess it is “recall” but maybe it is a process I have to go through b4 I can heal mentally and b able to think again. 

Comment by Sheri Dettman on November 12, 2018 at 10:13am

Hi Mary Jane! I haven't been on here much at all for a while. I actually met someone about 6 weeks ago and long story short, haven't seen him since then but he's coming to see me on Thursday for 4 days. Lives in TX and I'm in CA. Needless to say, my attitude has changed quite a bit as I feel like now I have something and someone to look forward to. I've been writing on my blog busy working. We are planning on going to see that movie this weekend. Glad you enjoyed it. Looks like fun.

Comment by Mary. Jane on November 12, 2018 at 10:06am

OMG..where IS everyone? Maybe y’all are having MAJOR, numerous random crap messing up your lives at the moment, like I am? Since one week before Halloween, I have been unindated with everything going wrong. Starting with the removal of two pillars and a rail on my front porch...which were so rotten, I had to remove them b4 kids came to Trick or treat, and got injured, to a bunch of other stuff..including talking to real estate people, and lenders...removing Bobs name from or DEED..(DIDN,t know I had to do that) something wrong with my plumbing...a bunch of other stuff...culminating last Thursday with discovering I have a busted drain pipe leading from the clean out thingy in my back yard...and ending up IN MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS YARD! That is where they will have to dig to repair it, remove park of her fence, redo her yard..and this morning it is SNOWING! It hasn,t snowed here for 3 years. WTF is going on? Oh yeah, and I am totally responsible for paying the entire thing, as my home owners insurance only covers inside the walls of my house. There goes any down payment on a new home.

For 2 years nothing happened, now EVERYTHING happened in 2 weeks.  But, it could b worse..if this is all God throws at me I am blessed. It could be fires or floods...

so, I hope all of you are safe, but the silence here the last month is weird. So, that is why I haven,t been here..but I missed coming here, so I thought I would bore y’all with my life. 

LASTLY...went to the movies yesterday..GO SEE BOHEMIEN RAPSODY!!! I wanted to rock out in my seat..but looking around, I DIDN,t see any others I stayed still as possible but when it ended, and the credits one CLAPPED!!!  So I decided I DIDN,t care, and started clapping loudly..and to my DELIGHT..when I DID..a second went by, and then the entire audience clapped with me!!!!  That was SO COOL!!!

Comment by Mary. Jane on November 4, 2018 at 3:48pm

Oh, Deb..NEVER think yours or anyone’s posts are the same thing. Your posts are special, even tho you might think they are the same...each day is a different challenge..and they are always special. 

I hven,t been here awhile cuz I am having moving, house, plumbing, structure problems, u name it...and actually...I just haven,t had time. Everything seems to happen at once. I will type more later, but my cat is trying to open the BRB..and YESSSS, I had to log in again..and I got a warning this might not b a secure place. As if that would stop me?

Comment by deborah peck on November 4, 2018 at 10:39am

I didn't have any trouble getting on Steve, so glad to hear you are doing good. It has been quiet here, I usually check every morning but don't post a lot anymore as its always the same aand figure every one is tired of hearing it but I think of all of you alot

Comment by Steve G. on November 3, 2018 at 1:25pm

I am doing are correct, it has been unusually quiet.

When I clicked on your link it only loaded the last 4 comments, the page looked different.  The comment box and add comment button was missing.  I signed out and back in and got the same thing.  So i found an older comment from you on the 24th and clicked the link and got the page we are all used too.  Hope they are not redesigning the page...hope this day finds you well and feeling some peace today.



Comment by Sara Murphy on November 3, 2018 at 12:44pm

Hi Friends...I thought I'd check in and see how everyone is doing today.  We've been quiet over the past week or so. 


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