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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 16. 4 Replies

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Comment by Sara Murphy on January 12, 2019 at 4:45pm

So here it is, the eve of another dreaded anniversary.  Tomorrow, Jan 13th will be 3 years since Ken left this world.   I can't believe 3 years have already passed.  I think about him all day every day so it doesn't seem possible that much time has gone by but it also seems like forever.

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 12, 2019 at 4:41pm

Happy Belated Birthday Marsha!  I hope you have/had fun kicking up your heels.

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 11, 2019 at 10:22am

Happy belated, Marsha! Hope it was a fun day for you! We want full disclosure on you heel kicking on Monday. Lol

Comment by Marsha H on January 10, 2019 at 3:55pm

Dear DJ ...  Thanks for the birthday wishes.  I appreciate it and surprised you remembered.  Not celebrating until the weekend and then kicking up my heels if my legs will go that far!  LOL

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by DJ on January 10, 2019 at 9:27am

Happy birthday, Marsha.

Comment by Diane C on January 2, 2019 at 11:35am

Marsha,

Good to see you back on here. And great to see Janeo again.... kind of like the good old days... haha.

Love you both,

Diane

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 1, 2019 at 9:25pm

Oh, Sara..I am so sorry you had those dreams,knowing he was ill. 

I don,t think I had any dreams like that about Bob while he was sick...but deep inside, when he was diagnosed, I knew he was going to die. I DIDN,t think it would be within 4 months from diagnosis to death,.but ever since I met him, he was always terrified of getting cancer,  cuz he knew if he ever did,he would die. 

I HATE cancer doctors, as they know how to string it out, as long as they can..only giving one test at a time..giving you false hope...and charging as much as they can while they tell you 5 years for lung cancer..then OOPS! Well they,re going to give you another test...they call it Eyes to Thighs...CT scan...then, oops...another test for something unrelated......and each time they find something new...if they would have given ALL the testing the first month, we could have known he had brain cancer and goneon a vacation the early months, instead of spending every day at the cancer center wasting what was left of his life, giving false hope and making buckets of $$$$. 

Ok, I am sorry I ruined your heartfelt post...at least your dreams gave you some sort of insight into the future. Albeit, it wasn,t something you wanted..but I think our dreams, in some way, help us foresee what could happen, and prepare us for both good, and sad. 

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 1, 2019 at 4:06pm

Mary Jane.....I see your post questioning whether any of us have had dreams of not being able to reach our spouses.  I actually started have those dreams about 2 months BEFORE Ken passed away.  That's how I knew what Heaven's plans were.  The doctors were saying one thing but my dreams were saying something else and as much as I wanted to believe the doctors, I knew better.  One of those dreams was similar to the one Chuck mentioned.  I was at a street fair type of place and could see Ken at a table across the street but by the time I crossed, he was already gone.  Then I saw him at a table under a tent and again, he was gone when I got there.  There were several other dreams of this nature.  Some of them included him leaving his wallet and cell phone at home and just leaving.  Those dreams were upsetting because I knew what was coming.  Now dreaming about him is the only time I feel normal although it doesn't happen as much as in the beginning. 

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 1, 2019 at 2:32pm

Happy new year everyone. I just moped around the house, watched a surprisingly REALLY good movie on FREE HBO...most of the movies I started to watch  sucked big time..but I highly recommend The Mountain Between Us..riveting...

went to bed at midnight, couldn,t sleep cuz all the yahoos in Oklahoma set off fireworks every New Year’s Eve...so ended up sleeping until a friend messaged me at 9:40 am...

today I am going to try to pack the personal,stuff like things on the refrigerator, like Bobs poems, and sketches...and printed “sayings” one of which has been up there for Years..and is so prophetic :

FEAR EATS THE SOUL....and it really really does. What I would REALLY like to do, is get roaring drunk...but I made an iron clad promise to God that I can never break,,,EVER...so I couldn,t even if I was assured there would be no accidents, phoning friends, or hangover. 

I wish you all a better year...last year kinda really sucked...2017 was better...at least it seemed that way.

QUESTION: has anyone here seen the musical The Book of Mormon?  Melinda got us tickets to see it..she saw it about a year ago,  said it was so funny her stomach hurt for days from laughing. But my neighbor saw it and DIDN,t like it...but she had never heard or seen SOUTHPARK and it was written by their creators. Kind of R rated...I loved Southpark until it got too violent. Ok bye 

Comment by Steve on January 1, 2019 at 7:39am

Wishing you the same Marsha, we spent the evening at home watching the CNN coverage on TV of the NYC festivities, then one hour later, watched the Dallas Celebration of the New Year.  We watched Twilight Zone marathon off and on all day and after midnight central time for about an hour and then retired,,,

Good to hear from everyone and wishing everyone a healthy year full of peace, hope and love for all.

Hugs to all

 

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