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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: Dec 2

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Sara Murphy on February 7, 2019 at 9:08am
I too thank you Pete for the info and have blocked her.
How have you been? Haven't heard from you in a while so I'm glad to see you on my screen.
Comment by Steve G. on February 7, 2019 at 8:09am

Thanks Pete, I have her blocked as well

Comment by Deb on February 6, 2019 at 6:41pm

Thank you Pete...I have now blocked Brianna. 

Comment by Pete Bronson on February 6, 2019 at 5:52pm

Click on her name to go to her profile. Scroll down under her picture to find block messages and click on it. If everyone in the group does that she no longer has an audience to send her spam to.

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 6, 2019 at 10:24am

I just sent Steve Cain a message to delete this “Briana” too.

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 6, 2019 at 9:58am

Thank you, Marsha  and Sara. You make wonderful points, and help my soul deal with this time in my life that never seems like it is going to be over. 

Your responses are the reason this site is so important in my life. Everyone here is such a comfort.

Except Brianna. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha....(I just HAD to say that. If I ever loose my sense of humor I may as well cash in my chips. LOL)

Comment by Sara Murphy on February 6, 2019 at 9:15am
Mary Jane....I too believe your daughter is just now grieving the loss of her father. Not only was she trying to be strong for you, but with her living in a different state, it was probably easy to pretend he wasn't gone.
Moving and having to discard Bob's belongings is a huge step and also a loss so it makes sense that you would grieve that loss as well. You're leaving the home you and Bob shared for a number of years and you can't take it all with you. I can't even stand the thought of having to discard Ken's belongings so believe me, you're doing ok. I agree with Marsha that once you settle into your new home and get a new routine going, it hopefully won't feel as bad as it seems now.
Comment by Marsha H on February 6, 2019 at 3:52am

Mary Jane ...  I also listened to your daughter's songs and she is very talented and I so enjoyed listening.  I joined and wanted to leave a message and get her name out there, but it wouldn't go through for some reason.  

I believe your daughter is finally grieving and it is her song writing and her voice that consoles her and get's her feelings out.  We all grieve differently.  I remember when my father passed away I was in my mid-20's and I felt I had to be strong for my mother as did my brother.  I did do my crying once back at my apartment.  Losing a first parent always seems the toughest because we've all not given it much thought that our parents would pass eventually.  Yes, I do also believe she is worried you will pass away as well and that's very normal.  

Leaving the life you had before is also a grief and starting a new life appears much more difficult than it is.  It could be an great adventure for you and your daughter.  You will get rolling when you need to and once settled in your new place I am sure within a couple of months it will feel like a home and more adventures to be had.  My words may seem easier than they are, but I have girlfriends who are widows and they have moved.  At first it's strange, but keeping busy is the key and getting out for a little entertainment every so often helps as well.  It wasn't long before they fell into their new life, made new and interesting friends.  I do pray for all on here and I know you're going to make out just fine my dear friend.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on February 6, 2019 at 3:43am

Brianna ...  You have been politely asked previously by the founder of this site that you are on a wrong site and we all would appreciate it if you would kindly find the correct website to leave your posts.  I need not tell you that your posts may offend some members here and grieving is a difficult enough journey without you coming back after being asked to politely leave.  We consider this spam!  

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 5, 2019 at 11:02pm

Thank you, Sara..yes, this one was different...sometimes I forget that she is grieving too. She is our only child, was her dads “little princess”..and yet, after he died, she seemed put her emotions on hold...for over 2 years... Maybe she thought she had to be strong for me, and I worried about it and it wasn,t until this December, after her boss died instantly..he was only 58...that she finally started talking about how it has affected her. I tried to get her to come here, and join the group for loss of a parent..but she refused.

I think spending 10 days here in January, sorting through the pictures of her childhood, finally broke through to her...realizing her dad was really gone...and being TERRIFIED the same fate could happen to her mom, me..compelled her to,write that song. Each of us grieves in our own way...and in our own timeframe..and she has been so very patient with me. So I am trying to step t up for her..but tossing out what was once my/ our former life, disposing of Bobs belongings, is, in a sense, almost worse than when he died. 

I am having a terrible time moving forward...but I need to step it up, as my biggest fear is finally moving back to CA and dying as soon as I get there. I know time is of the essence, and I still procrastinate. I am afraid of everything involved in relocating...so I do nothing, or what I do takes forever to complete the simplest of tasks. But as I look around, at my almost “staged” house, I am beginning to Realize, this might be fun. It just happens to be the very worse time of the year...not a good market for either buyers or sellers. But I KNOW whenthe  universe is ready, I will be too.i HAVE to focus on that...otherwise all I want to do is just sleep, and pretend it isn,t really happening.

 

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