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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 16. 4 Replies

New Member

Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2, 2018. 5 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on April 9, 2019 at 4:29am

Hi Todd ...  So wonderful to see your post.  Like others when I don't see them post although I miss them I'm hoping and praying they are at peace and making a good life for themselves.  Great you are still around or we'd sure miss you!

Marsha

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 4, 2019 at 9:10pm

...I actually cried when I saw the picture of the plaque. Chuck, It is beautiful. Sadly, Bob’s ashes are still in the container the funeral home put them in, and that is inside a fabric bag, with a pattern of cool paint splatters...(we saw it at a store,, and it looked just like a pattern on a pallet, like he used to create when he did his paintings.)

It sits on a small table next to the chair I always sit in....and seeing Chucks wonderful tribute made me feel sad that I haven’t done anything for him yet. He wanted his ashes scattered over an area on the California Coast, that is an ancient Olohne Indian shell mound, that we used to visit..amazingly it was undesturbed for centuries...we used to collect artifacts..and the area is right next to a nude beach..but when we first found it..there were THOUSANDS of ancient tools...so many we were STUNNED they were left intact..but we left them alone, too. There was a “feeling” there, that to take anything from that area was just WRONG...it is one of the. Oldest sights in California...the Olone tribes lived there thousands of years ago...and I think others who came upon it must have felt the same way. 

Bob wrote in his will, that his ashes be scattered there, but THANKFULLY, he learned b4 he died, the state of CA had purchased the land, and are making a state park out of it, and it will be preserved forever. We were so happy that some developer or horrible careless people would desecrate it...but I am still going to scatter his ashes on the beach, in a cove next to it..but the older I get, the harder it will be, as it is a hefty trek from the road to the beach...so he will just have to wait another year until Melinda and I can get there. Meanwhile, I find his ashes next to me very comforting. I talk to them sometimes...sorry this post is so long.

Comment by Sara Murphy on April 4, 2019 at 11:39am
Hi Chuck,
You are one of the familiar names it's good to see again. Missed you and your storytelling.
I'm glad you were able to install the memorial plaque for Larry. I can't see the photo but it may be because I'm at work and there's a firewall preventing me from clicking on what I think may be the image. I'm sure it's a beautiful plaque with the perfect heartfelt message.
I have to get back to work but say Hi to Steve for me.
Love, Sara
Comment by Todd B. Goodrich on April 4, 2019 at 11:31am

Hi Sara! Hi Chuck! Hi Marsha! Still here and hope you are all well. Blessings to all

Comment by Sara Murphy on April 4, 2019 at 11:26am
I echo everyone's sentiment that I wish we all lived close enough to get together in person. I was drowning in grief when I found Legacy. My friends here have helped me more than I could ever say.
Comment by Charles E. Nelson on April 2, 2019 at 7:03pm

Hello all,

It's been so long since posting that I had to reset my password! I had replies I had wished to post to so many of your posts, but it seemed time or circumstance always kept me from doing so. It is good though to now see many familiar names appear again. Last week Steve and I met with his cousin visiting Dallas, and at dinner was describing the way that Legacy had helped us both to begin our path toward healing - a path that unexpectedly led to us living together. In the telling, I was reminded afresh of how miraculous finding this family was for me four years ago. I would hate to think that this incredible source of support, compassion, and encouragement would ever cease to be available to newly grieving people!

April is now for me a month that will forever bring with it such a confusing jumble of feelings that I face it with trepidation and a resolve to get through the fresh mix of memories and sadness with at least a modicum of grace. My Larry passed on the 22nd, but from the 5th I had been hospitalized, a situation that in retrospect must have been Hell on earth for Larry. I remember one Sunday morning asking the nurse, after noticing a vase with daffodils near my bed if it was Easter yet. I will never forget the look on her face as she said "Oh, honey, I'm afraid that you've missed Easter this year."

I have so much I want to share about all these past months, but for now will just tell you that before the ground froze in NJ last fall I had a memorial plaque installed on Larry's grave finally. I couldn't afford it in 2015 when his cremains were interred, and it had been growing in the back of my mind into a much bigger issue as the years passed. Steve, bless him, knew this and encouraged me to begin the process early enough that approving designs and making payments along the way it would be done in 2018. I am adding a photo of it here. We were prevented from travelling to NJ to see it last year because of Steve's radiation treatments that commenced in Oct. Perhaps we will get north this year, but if not I am hoping that Larry's son, and perhaps a few other members of his family, will visit him and approve of my choice of a message.

I'll stop here, but send my love and many hugs to you all - although you may not have seen me here, I have been reading and keeping you all in my heart.

Love, Chuck 

Comment by Marsha H on April 2, 2019 at 4:02am

Diane C ....  Great to see you posting my dear friend!  Thanks you for thinking of me and I'm getting a little more energy each day, but hey, I still have that nap during early evening.  LOL  I guess like many of us the chores we have to do inside and outside if we live in our homes can sure be over-whelming.  I have no idea where to start.  

I don't think that Legacy will disappear at all.  Facebook is having a great deal of issues and I've heard some of my friends say they have ditched Facebook.  Security isn't as tight as they would have you believe.  I come here not just out of loyalty, but love my dear family here and it was Legacy that saved me through the worst of my grief.  

Hope you are doing well Diane and please keep posting.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Diane C on April 1, 2019 at 11:12am

Good to see some of you posting again!! I have missed all of you! Marcy, so glad to hear you are feeling better. I knew when you were missing in action that something serious was up. Glad to hear that you are on the mend. I feel the same as the rest of you, I wish we all lived near each other. That would be some serious fun I am sure. But we would also be able to be of help in person when someone really needs it. But, we will just have to settle for what we have on this website. And I am truly grateful for this site and all the people. I worry that some day this very important support system will go away as people join facebook and other sites. Glad to hear everyone is doing the best they can right now.

Comment by Marsha H on March 31, 2019 at 4:30am

Mary.Jane ...  I is a shame we live so far away from each other and I know we'd hit it off and have the time of our lives and oh, I DRIVE!  LOL  You bet the town wouldn't be the same if they cut us loose there.

Sadly most of the people I hold dear to my heart are on this forum yet so sad that everyone lives so far away.  I think I'm the only Canadian on the board.  

Hope your weekend is a good one my friend.  Thanks for the post, made me smile.

Comment by Mary. Jane on March 30, 2019 at 10:33pm

Marsha, its a darn shame we couldn,t meet for a weekend of fun and frivolity. We could have so much fun together! We are both super outgoing and the two of us could really kick A$$!

 

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