Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7, 2022. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on May 10, 2019 at 3:57am

Dear Deborah ...  I am so sorry you have all this stress on your shoulders wondering if the river will rise and so sad after all the work you did you had to dismantle Greg's pond.  You will certainly be in my my prayers and hopefully you will be fine.  Please keep us posted. 

Big hugs


Comment by Steve G. on May 9, 2019 at 12:02pm


I am praying for an end to all of this rain for you and for everyone whose lives have been devastated by flooding.  I just have to believe that your neighborhood will be sparred, enough is enough for all.

I have been through 5 hurricanes in my life while living in Florida, those are terrifying in of itself. but to have to watch daily as water rises must be more so.

Please know that we are all here for you and praying for you.  Mother nature seems to be having a tantrum along the Mississippi, stay safe, will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Comment by Diane C on May 9, 2019 at 11:35am

Oh Deborah,

So sorry to hear about the rain and flooding near you. After you posted that picture of Greg's pond last week, it will be heartbreaking if the waters make it that far, it is a beautiful garden. Glad you were able to get everything moved, just in case. Prayers for you and your neighborhood!!!

Comment by Diane C on May 9, 2019 at 11:14am

Hi Marsha,

I was so very sorry to read your message. As you can read here, you are so very well thought of and respected. We are here to support you in every way we can across the miles. You are receiving so many virtual hugs, I am sure you can feel them. I am sorry that you had to go through this with Miss Tootsie. Seems so many of us on here are animal lovers. I know how very important she has been to you, especially these past 8 years. I am sending you a huge hug, I hope you can feel it!! Love to you and Mr. Booker. I know working at the shelter, you will find one that will grab your heart and make Booker a happy dog again!! Good luck and I wish for peace to you!! Love, Diane

Comment by deborah peck on May 9, 2019 at 8:19am

Marsha my heart breaks for you and your Booker, when one of my yorkies passed away the other one clearly mourned her. She quit eating and just layed around to the point we got another puppy for her, a cocka-poo, they were best friends for a long time until the yorkie passed away too, now I have my Alvin who is about 11 years old and slowing down a lot. Are you planning on getting another puppy, it really did help my dog although they were never as close as my two yorkies were, good luck and prayers to you

Comment by deborah peck on May 9, 2019 at 8:14am

Has been a bad week here, what with Gregs birthday and the anniversary date on Sunday I am also watching the river rise a field away from my home, it is coming in on the side and back of my small subdivision. they have closed part of the road I live on, ughh, I have cleared out Gregs pond just in case but its all so stressful, too much at once. my shoulders hurt all the time from being so tense so send prayers this doesn't flood us out. The good news is today is the last of the rain for awhile so maybe it will go down soon. I live about 5 miles from the river so didn't expect this. love you all

Comment by Marsha H on May 8, 2019 at 3:45am

Dear Deb ....  It is always so good to hear from you and when there is a problem with any of us you are right there with your heart on your sleeve.

Booker is getting a little better each day as I am, but there is still that hole in our home.  On walks he does enjoy it to an extent, but can tell he isn't the same without his Tootsie.  It all takes time.  I don't think we will ever forget any of our pets we've had as they have enriched our lives in countless ways.  I can well imagine everyone on the island loved Moon and to bad Ginger just wanted to stay home.

I realize how difficult it was for you to pack up the clothes of your partner, but I did what you did after Ernie passed away and gave them to a charity.  I will admit I did keep a couple of things of Ernie's I couldn't part with.  How wonderful of you to want to volunteer and I know you will be such an asset there and no doubt your application will be accepted.  Please keep me informed.

I have run into a problem with shelters.  The applications are very long so I've read and they even want to know how much you make a year (I believe that is against the Privacy Act); what does the person figure how much money they will have to spend on the dog at the vets (how is one to know?)  On and on it goes. I am about ready to start going to shelters and if I run into this problem they are going to have a fight on their hands.  I don't mind some questions, but a letter from your vet, letting someone inspect your home, etc., I don't mind one bit.  It use to be that way.  I have read so many reviews of people complaining they want to adopt a dog, but many shelters make it next to impossible yet the same shelters are complaining of the overload of pets at their shelter.  I will go to the media if this happens to me.  I will take a Senior dog that is healthy and an age range from 4 - 6 years.  I need a dog with some energy for Booker and I just want a dog around 17 - 20 lbs.  They need bathing and I wouldn't be able to lift a dog that weighed more.  Don't eat enough spinach.  LOL

My friend has gone through so much as two of her adult children are also fighting cancer and hopefully everything will work out well.  

Thank once again my friend and hope things are going well for you.

Love & big hugs back!


Comment by Deb on May 7, 2019 at 2:44pm

Dear Marsha, Thank you for your note. Hope you and Booker are adapting to your loss of Tootsie more every day. I'm sure he loves his walks and hope in time he will be his old self again. I know how difficult it is as I still miss my Moon and Ginger. Everyone on the island loved Moon as he was always with me out-n-about but few knew Ginger since she was happier to stay home. 

It was a hard job but I packed up clothes that had belonged to my partner and have them ready to take over to a thrift store. I heard about it from the food shelf near me that I've put in an application to volunteer at. It's nice because they give out vouchers to those in need to go to the thrift store to choose needed items. 

I agree that getting a dog from a shelter is wonderful and to make their life happy, healthy and most of all loved. 

So sorry to hear that your friend has also had a great loss — I'm sure you're a big help as she goes though this terrible passage.

Love and big hugs to you and all who are in this group.



Comment by Marsha H on May 6, 2019 at 3:53am

Oh Mary.Jane ...  You are such a character.  Of course I haven't forgotten you and no, you don't talk too much.  LOL  I just have had my hands full with helping out my girlfriend since her husband just passed and trying to keep as much of a regular routine for Booker and I since my Tootsie is gone.  I have emailed you my friend.  



Comment by Marsha H on May 6, 2019 at 3:51am

Trina ...  You are such a dear and always there when you are need with kind words, love and encouragement and I appreciate it so much.  I shouldn't complain as Tootsie was 16 and I had many years of happy memories with her.  She was more Ernie's dog than mine (later after he passed she became closer to me of course) so I like to think my dear little white angel is with her daddy running through a meadow of flowers young and healthy again.

I think of you often and hope you are well and feeling less grief.  I know Joseph is always around you as love never stops even after one passes away




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