Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: on Tuesday
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21.
Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24.
Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22.
Dear Mary Jane,
I haven't been reading the posts here for a while, so just now read about everything leading up to your flight tomorrow.
I relate completely to everything you wrote about leaving your home with Bob - leaving mine that I shared with Larry for 32 years was also like losing him all over again in a strange different way. Tomorrow Steve and I are going out to lunch for a very special occasion. It was July 2nd 2016 that we actually met face-to-face at the Allentown/Bethlehem Airport in PA. We have agreed to consider this date as our official anniversary, because it was from those first few days together in real space that sprang our present life together.
I know in my heart that the new life that will be greeting you will be fun/scary, exciting/upsetting - all kinds of mixed feelings impossible to describe. But I also know this - you will be fine, because Bob will be with you every minute, just as Larry and Mark have been with Steve and myself.
Oh, and don't forget - you have permanent family right here who will always love you, and never tire of having you share every step of your journey. We all of us are on our journeys too, and the fact that we can all walk this path together is still to me one of the most amazing miracles and blessings in my life.
Be well my friend, and don't be afraid of fear, because feeling that lets you know that you're alive, and still moving forward.
Hugs and much love, Chuck
Good Luck Mary Jane. You have a whole entire group of cheerleaders that will be sending you silent cheers that you will do just fine with the move. I love that you saw the cardinal, that was for sure Bob letting you know he was with you on this decision. I can't say I know how you feel about moving, because I haven't had to do it myself yet. Good luck to Rudy, give him a treat and a nice scratch behind his ears to let him know we are all behind him too in having a nice, safe trip also. We are all here cheering you on.... Looking forward to hearing all about your travels and getting settled in. HUGS!!
Mary Jane let us know when you are all settled, I can understand crying over Bob, you are leaving the house you two shared, but know its just a house and he will forever be with you. The cardinal was surely a sign that all is good and he is rooting you on. I hope the trip is easy for you and you love your new place . God bless you on your new adventure
Mary Jane, you faced a tough battle and you won this one!! You needed the breakdown to plant your new self. You proved you can do what you have to. I hope that this will be the worst for you because it is DONE!! I am also glad you will not be alone. I hope you will share your new adventures. Frankie
Hello everyone. Saturday, the movers come. I haven,t even packed all the little bits yet. Melinda had to leave Sunday...so I have been alone..and overwhelmed. Honestly, this is worse than when Bob died...I know u will all think I am horrible...but I had the grace of knowing he was dying..it was just a matter of “when”.
Oddly, today I cried over his death in a way I hadn,t before. I cannot explain why it was different..it just was. This morning I saw the most beautiful male cardinal...he had a HUGE full plume on his head, and the sun made his color glow...then tonite I saw fire flies...but the topper in all this stress, is I heard a song on TV, by a group called WILD ...the song is “Here we go” about changing your life and moving on, a new beginning. So the house will b empty Sat night, except for the guest bed...and a chair..and a ratty TV...but I am packing 2 suitcases, staying at a hotel Sun and Monday night, closing on the house Monday, then kitty and I fly to CA Tuesday...hoping Rudy the kitty doesn,t pee in his carrier during the flight..sorry for rambling..I have been so stressed I cannot even finish sentences..my brain is fried with fear...my realtor is going to,help me pack tomorrow...I found I cannot do a simple thing like TAPE up the boxes..as my back wants to go out when I bend over.
Tonight, I just rested instead of trying to finish loading the boxes. Apparently I needed it..cuz I feel better now. Thanks for reading the long post. I am usually upbeat and positive, but this has really knocked me down. And everything is costing so much MONEY! My life savings r being wiped out by all of this.
One a good note, I sold Bobs car...that was really hard..we took a road trip every year, but he sent a SIGN! I was taking one last picture of it parked on the street, when a PENSKE TRUCK drove by. He was a truck driver by trade..an artist by talent..we have 52 mirror boxes fill with his framed paintings.
thanyou if u actually read my rambling..but it felt good to get it out.
Dear Mary.Jane ... Vice-versa my friend. I can well imagine how you feel being alone for a week, but you have your kitty so cuddle up and the week should fly by. I know you are going to be so happy with your new life and wonder why you didn't do it sooner. Prayers are will you my friend.
THankyou everyone. I am so happy those of u who,were flooded didn,t get badly damaged. I was blessed that my location was a higher one and not too near water.
Marsha..I cherish u. I am still living in a state of absolute terror...and I will be alone all next weeek while I finish things up, then catch a plane and move on to a new life.
Thismis actually harder than when Bob died...thank God for Melinda..she has done everything. Bye for now
Francis, yes it is slowely getting cleaned up, my family is coming over Saturday if its dry enough to try to get the flower beds back together. yes I am truly blessed not to have to redo inside of house, so many here in Missouri now have homes underwater, so very sad. Hope you are having a good day today
Aye, Deborah. Your yard, minus the fish, add little frogs, looks like mine in 1999. I remember the odor, but it will finally go. I remember how blessed I felt when others around me actually lost their homes. When I drank my coffee in the mornings and looked out the window, I had a sense of being on Noah's ark. We are going to sink or swim. You got this girl!
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