Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 1 hour ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele 13 hours ago.
Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24.
Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22.
Marsha, Lisa, Sarah, I wish we had a like button or something. Thank you for your comments.
I do need to let go, my logic tells me that. I am just missing his voice, his smile, his personality so much. I do have a logical mind. I do know the rings were too tight, and I acknowledge that I have lost some weight. I started to at least put my wedding ring on last night, but thought about all those possibilities Sarah mentioned. In fact two nights before I worried they would have to be cut off. I don't know if the signs I experience are him, but it gives me comfort to think they are. I know he would if he could. Marsha, you are right-too many of us have seen what seems to be communication. The universe is a might big place, and we know so little. Lisa, kind of like the idea of multiverse.
Dear Frances ... There is no doubt most of us on here have had signs from our departed spouse. I have and believe it's true. My husband passed away in 2011 and I still get signs from him. That being said and to be honest I simply think when you flung your hand (your husband's wedding band was big on you) the ring just went flying. As far as your engagement ring and wedding band flying off your finger and it was snug on your finger then yes, I believe your husband was telling you it was OK to get on with your life. He would want you to be happy. I believe you will get many signs from your husband as the months go by and possibly years. When we are in raw grief sometimes those signs go unnoticed or, grief counseling try to us that we just can't accept the death and think they are signs, but how would they know as no one knows what happens after death. To many of us on here have had signs and myself, I believe my dear husband comes to peek in on me just to see how I'm doing.
Happy to see you posting Francis and even though it may seem slow on here at the present time someone generally comes on.
Two days ago, I was talking to my 18 year old grandson and fiddling with my husband's wedding band on my finger. When I motioned with my hand -- to emphasize a point, my husband's gold band flew across the room. It was large on my finger. What I did not expect was for my engagement ring and wedding band to slide off my finger. For 2 years, it they have been stuck! I was afraid they might have to be cut off. The mark where the rings were is strange to look at - empty. Is he trying to tell me that it is time to move on?
I agree with Mary.Jane. It's called Mental Telepathy and no voice, but our brain hears the message loud and clear. I have experienced it also. It is comforting to know they are really there when you need them.
Ok, I just had to answer this, although I am supposed to be getting ready for the home inspectors ..it’s about our loved ones communicating. They DO answer us...it’s just not in their voices...it’s the single thought that pops into our head as we r talking to them, or thinking about them, or even better, about to make a decision...where a bit of advice will pop into your head...It sounds like YOU are replying to your self..but it is THEM, with either an answer to the question we just asked...or the advice on should we do something..I am not making sense..but I think you will “get it” .
I find it very comforting and nice they are still around watching over us.
Trina ... I always look forward to seeing you post! Miss you!
You are also right about cancer and more and more people who have the type of cancer which has little cure are opting out on Chemo or Radiation. It is a nasty disease and takes so many lives.
Smart that you left a living Will. You bet cancer is a million dollar business and if you mention anything to your doctor or get angry about it they either stay quiet or like what Mary.Jane said they can get uppity, but they know more than they are saying. I know, my family doctor that retired we had many conversations about this very thing.
I too talk to Ernie every day and sometimes I can feel him around me. I think we'd be in shock if they actually answered us!
I hope you are doing much better my dear friend.
Mary Jane and Marsha,
What you say about cancer is so true. When I was growing up, cancer was very rare, but these days it is rampant. People get it all the time and especially younger people as well. Joseph died of lung cancer, so he and I were like you two with your spouses who had to endure the horror that cancer wreaks. I am very sorry that we had to face the terrifying feeling, the disbelief and the feeing utter of helplessness and despair cancer brings.
I, too, left it in my Living Will, that if I were diagnosed with cancer, no chemo, no radiation, just relief from pain. Cancer is a billion dollar business, and I don't want to give more business to the cancer industry.
And Mary Jane, thanks for sharing here that you talk to your husband all the time. Now I know that I am not crazy, and that I am not the only one who has daily conversations with my deceased husband. For me, I talk to Joseph all the time just like I did when he was alive. Only difference, I answer back to myself for him! LOL!
Be well, all of you here, our family in grief. Only we know what it takes to go on living and survive day after day after the love of our life is gone. So much pain, so much wearing a mask of normalcy, so much of always trying to seem "normal" to the world. It's all so exhausting...
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