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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: Oct 8

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Diane C on June 28, 2019 at 11:24am

Good Luck Mary Jane. You have a whole entire group of cheerleaders that will be sending you silent cheers that you will do just fine with the move. I love that you saw the cardinal, that was for sure Bob letting you know he was with you on this decision. I can't say I know how you feel about moving, because I haven't had to do it myself yet. Good luck to Rudy, give him a treat and a nice scratch behind his ears to let him know we are all behind him too in having a nice, safe trip also. We are all here cheering you on.... Looking forward to hearing all about your travels and getting settled in. HUGS!!

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 28, 2019 at 11:16am

Thankyou

Comment by deborah peck on June 28, 2019 at 10:52am

Mary Jane let us know when you are all settled, I can understand crying over Bob, you are leaving the house you two shared, but know its just a house and he will forever be with you. The cardinal was surely a sign that all is good and he is rooting you on. I hope the trip is easy for you and you love your new place . God bless you on your new adventure

Comment by Frances C Younger on June 28, 2019 at 7:24am

Mary Jane, you faced a tough battle and you won this one!!  You needed the breakdown to plant your new self.  You proved you can do what you have to.  I hope that this will be the worst for you because it is DONE!!  I am also glad you will not be alone.  I hope you will share your new adventures.                                                 Frankie

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 27, 2019 at 10:25pm

Hello everyone. Saturday, the movers come. I haven,t even packed all the little bits yet. Melinda had to leave Sunday...so I have been alone..and overwhelmed. Honestly, this is worse than when Bob died...I know u will all think I am horrible...but I had the grace of knowing he was dying..it was just a matter of “when”. 

Oddly, today I cried over his death in a way I hadn,t before. I cannot explain why it was different..it just was. This morning I saw the most beautiful male cardinal...he had a HUGE full plume on his head, and the sun made his color glow...then tonite I saw fire flies...but the topper in all this stress, is I heard a song on TV, by a group called WILD ...the song is “Here we go” about changing your life and moving on, a new beginning. So the house will b empty Sat night, except for the guest bed...and a chair..and a ratty TV...but I am packing 2 suitcases, staying at a hotel Sun and Monday night, closing on the house Monday, then kitty and I fly to CA Tuesday...hoping Rudy the kitty doesn,t pee in his carrier during the flight..sorry for rambling..I have been so stressed I cannot even finish sentences..my brain is fried with fear...my realtor is going to,help me pack tomorrow...I found I cannot do a simple thing like TAPE up the boxes..as my back wants to go out when I bend over. 

Tonight, I just rested instead of trying to finish loading the boxes. Apparently I needed it..cuz I feel better now. Thanks for reading the long post. I am usually upbeat and positive, but this has really knocked me down.  And everything is costing so much MONEY! My life savings r being wiped out by all of this. 

One a good note, I sold Bobs car...that was really hard..we took a road trip every year, but he sent a SIGN! I was taking one last picture of it parked on the street, when a PENSKE TRUCK drove by. He was a truck driver by trade..an artist by talent..we have 52 mirror boxes fill with his framed paintings.

thanyou if u actually read my rambling..but it felt good to get it out.

Comment by Marsha H on June 20, 2019 at 5:52am

Dear Mary.Jane ...  Vice-versa my friend.  I can well imagine how you feel being alone for a week, but you have your kitty so cuddle up and the week should fly by.  I know you are going to be so happy with your new life and wonder why you didn't do it sooner.  Prayers are will you my friend.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 19, 2019 at 9:00am

THankyou everyone. I am so happy those of u who,were flooded didn,t get badly damaged. I was blessed that my location was a higher one and not too near water. 

Marsha..I cherish u. I am still living in a state of absolute terror...and I will be alone all next weeek while I finish things up, then catch a plane and move on to a new life. 

Thismis actually harder than when Bob died...thank God for Melinda..she has done everything. Bye for now

Comment by deborah peck on June 19, 2019 at 8:55am

Francis, yes it is slowely getting cleaned up, my family is coming over Saturday if its dry enough to try to get the flower beds back together. yes I am truly blessed not to have to redo inside of house, so many here in Missouri now have homes underwater, so very sad. Hope you are having a good day today

Comment by Frances C Younger on June 19, 2019 at 7:58am

Aye, Deborah.  Your yard, minus the fish, add little frogs, looks like mine in 1999.  I remember the odor, but it will finally go.  I remember how blessed I felt when others around me actually lost their homes.  When I drank my coffee in the mornings and looked out the window, I had a sense of being on Noah's ark.  We are going to sink or swim.  You got this girl!

Comment by Marsha H on June 18, 2019 at 3:44pm

Mary.Jane ...  Shame on the realtor.  Often they are just over anxious about selling the client's house instead of protecting their client.  I agree with Deborah that once this is over with and you are settled in you will look back on it and have a few laughs.  Know that we're all here for you to help  in any way we can.  

 

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