Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum


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Comment by Marsha H on July 12, 2019 at 5:56am

Dear Mary.Jane ...  I am so sorry you are going through this.  Once you get your things from the movers and get familiar items in your new place you will feel much better.  I don't like heat myself and I know what you are going through, but at least I have A/C.  It's no wonder you are depressed doing the big move in the first place and nothing to give you shade in your place and not knowing anyone.  Try getting to know some of your neighbors.  If you can afford it buy a filter to keep the pollen in check inside your home.  

Happy to hear there is nothing seriously wrong with your kitty.  Just tips here:  Put on the radio with music; go out for an evening walk when it's cooler.  You will make new friends for sure my friend.  Just hang on and remember your daughter's husband is there so you aren't totally alone.



Comment by Mary. Jane on July 11, 2019 at 4:29pm

So far I hate here. NOTHING is the same..NOTHING. There is no local TV in this area, so I have to watch ROKU, SLING etc...

Maybe when my stuff gets here, I will feel better..but it is SO HOT and no A/C   just that noisy thing called a swamp cooler...and the sun sets in my living room which has high windows with no shades and the kitchen has a huge skylight the sun burns down thru it every afternoon.....and Rudy had to see a vet yesterday..he was sneezing repeatedly...I was SO SCARED...but it is from the POLLEN that is HORRIBLE here..all these seniors have gardens...and there is a pine tree in back of my house...and I am kinda depressed.ok I am REALLY depressed...Melinda is on a business trip this week..her hubby took us to the vet...

The one GREAT thing? The former owners had a HUGE good washer & I am able to wash the sheets and blankets to get off the damn pollen that comes thru the windows. (and I REALLYlike doing laundry anyway).i walked a few blocks today, and realized I REALLY have to quit smoking..but I am too stressed. And it is going to be al,ost 100 degrees when the moving guys come. Each morning when I wake up, I realize where I am and wonder why bother getting out of bed?

Comment by Sara Murphy on July 9, 2019 at 11:21am
Mary Jane....Glad you made it safely to CA. Once you get your furniture in and everything set up, it'll start to feel like home. It sounds like Rudy likes it there.
Comment by deborah peck on July 9, 2019 at 10:05am

Mary Jane so glad you both are safe and before you know it, it will feel like home, did you get a mobile home like you were talking about, is it in a community with people your own age? Please keep us updated. as for me, Im still trying to get my yard back in shape after flooding, it will take time and Im not very good at having patience. take care of you both and one day you will wake up and it will be a home

Comment by Frances C Younger on July 6, 2019 at 2:39pm

Aw Mary Jane.  We will be your comfort zone.  Wow, you do have a lot of changes to deal with.  Seems to be good for Kitty.  I hope you continue to post.  I myself look forward to them.  Gets my mind off little me!!  Take Care.

Comment by Mary. Jane on July 6, 2019 at 11:42am

Thank you, Steve. 

Comment by Steve G. on July 6, 2019 at 8:15am

Happy to hear you and Kitty arrived safely, what part of CA, are you in?  Thank you for the anniversary greeting, the fact that we know you are ok is the best part and I know you and kitty will make new friends after all the moving issues settle down.  


Comment by Mary. Jane on July 6, 2019 at 12:29am

Happy anniversary guys..sorry I am late...I am here in my new house..empty except for Rudy and I...and tho the house is ok...the experience is turning into so many messes..with trying t validate address changes, trying to keep Rudy inside when I go out to smoke...the fear of when the furniture arrives...and it isVERY hot A/C  just something called a swamp cooler...I am just is everything at once, and Melinda is AMAZING...she stocked the house with everything I could possibly need..with no microwave or coffee maker...but she has to go to Tennessee Sunday for a week...

but there IS an amazing part..Rudy the kitty is like a new kitty! He is happy and playing...Haven,t felt Bob a lot, but I know he is here is the background...and the $$$$$$$$$$ is costing so much more for every little thing! 

I met some of the people at a bar b q yesterday...but mostly people keep to them self’s. Ok thanks for letting me post should b more positive. It is so upsetting that EVERY SINGLE THING in my life has changed..even my fav TV reception...only Roku...and I miss the news, etc...and the post office is holding my mail...until I verify my online address...and my brain checks out after 2pm I just cannot focus. 

Sorry for the long post...

Comment by deborah peck on July 5, 2019 at 10:22am

Happy anniversary Chuck and Steve, may God bless you with many more

Comment by Steve G. on July 4, 2019 at 12:59pm

Thank you all for the love you all continue to share, we are all definately family.

Deb, the pond is beautiful.


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