Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: on Friday
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31.
Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019.
Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019.
My dear Chuck ... Thank you for the Happy Birthday. I'm older than dirt! LOL
A belated and from the heart Happy Birthday! I join everyone in hoping that your delayed celebration with friends is wonderful, tons of fun, and safe! XOXOXO
Happy (belated) birthday Marsha! I was planning to send wishes yesterday, but I was on my hands and knees all day working on my daughter's HVAC in her attic; I was so pooped when I got home I fell asleep.
Ohhhh Happy Birthday Marsha! I hope your belated celebration is SPECTACULAR'!
Sara ... I often feel the universe is toying with me as well. My b/d was Jan. 10th and after months of constant rain it snowed right on my birthday! I am hoping it's the last of it as my girlfriends want to take me out for dinner, drinks and some good laughs. Raining now so hope it keeps up.
If you are close to the coworker this still does not mean you have to go to the wake, but you could send flowers to the home and a sympathy card. I am sure she would understand and she will have her mind on her mom's passing so doubt she'll realize who came and who didn't. If it bothers you by not going then go for a short while and talk to your coworker and leave. There is no set time when a person can leave a wake.
Sara..you really don’t have to attend the wake. Under the circumstances, this being a difficult day anyway..I am sure your co-worker will understand. She might not even notice your absence...If she doesn,t understand NOW, she will later, as the shock of loosing her mother wears off...and she will accept this was possibly the VERY WORSE day for you to attend. Unless she is a close friend, and your dynamics are complicated. If you are NOT close, do what YOU feel is best for YOU! I wish u an easy choice, but I urge you to do whatever u decide, do it for YOU! You need to start putting YOUR needs first! I wish u well.
Steve, if you like to read, A Dogs Purpose, is only ONE book about that dog...there are two more, and I think they’ve made another movie from one of the other books, A Dogs Journey..they're easy to read, and well worth it. I read the first one, loved it, saw the movie, they did a very good job re-creating the book..I have NOT read the second, tho I HAVE it, cuz I don,t have my reading FOCUS back yet.
Marsha..I didn,t realize you WROTE that poem. Beautiful.
I know CATS are usually seen as aloof and selfish, but before Bob died, Rudy was a wonderful, but ordinary kitty...when Bob came home in hospice for what was supposed to be a few months, Rudy jumped up on his wheeled bed, kinda sniffed him, then jumped off. That was the last time he hopped up..and Bob died 2 days later...it was as if Rudy KNEW Bob would choose to die earlier..he never went to his bed again.
Before that, Rudy was just an ordinary kitty..but the evening Bob died..he jumped onto the bed with me..and has been sleeping with me every evening, and also during my afternoon naps.I never coached him, he did it of his own volition..and still does. He has become my therapy kitty...my constant companion..spending EIGHT days with us in October, in various hotels when we were evacuated due to the FIRES in Northern California, and I took him with me on a 4 day trip to a wedding the end of December...I knew he would be ok, as he had traveled by air to CA to his new home in July, staying at hotels when I had to leave my house in OK, but couldn,t occupy my new home in CA. (cuz my REALTOR really F***ed up the day I had to be OUT of my house..long story, be VERY careful finding a GOOD realtor) but I digress..
So he is an EXCELLENT traveler, with his own LUGGAGE, and portable housing! And he is Spectacular dealing with all the strangeness, and smells that linger in hotel rooms. He is my constant companion...very unique for a CAT!
Most of us who have or have had that one special pet that teaches us patience and unconditional love are the most precious gift one can receive. I saw a post recently on FB that showed a picture of a cat and a dog with the caption below "Let's send them to earth as angles without wings".
It struck a cord within me and who knows, maybe they really are.
Chuck and I found a movie from 2017 titled "A Dog's Purpose". I highly recommend this film to everyone, it will make you laugh, cry and leave you with a very feel good ending.
Hugs to all
P.S. I am being good and healing is slow, my patience suffers as to the limitations I have, however, say the Dr yesterday, everything looks good, my appetite has returned and my Charlie is taking very good care of me. 5 more weeks of healing then back to the DR.
Steve G ... When I read again the story of Belle I cried all over again. It is so sad. My 16 year old Tootsie was more Ernie's dog than mine and yet she was there to comfort me once he passed, but often I would find her looking out the window as if she expected him. I feel animals can sense when our loved ones are near. I was so proud of her for sticking throughout my grief and now it was her time to go. I did get her into the vets as she was in pain and immediately he gave her a shot to make her drowsy and I had as much time as I needed to be with her. It must have been 40 minutes as I cuddled her in my arms and told her how much I loved her and thanked her for being there for me, but now she was free to go see her 'poppy.' I know Ernie would be waiting for her.
Thank you again Steve for repeating that story.
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