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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1376
Latest Conversations: on Wednesday

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Steve G. on April 10, 2020 at 2:25pm

Deborah,

It is good to vent here.  A friend of Chucks in up state NY, suggested that I down load an app on my phone called Zoom.  It allows us to start a meeting and then send an invite via text.  His friend has Zoom, all he does is click on the link in the text and we can see and talk to him.  Not the same as having real contact, but it sure beats not seeing who you are talking to.  Might be something to consider so you could see and talk to your daughter and your grandson.

Comment by deborah peck on April 10, 2020 at 1:52pm

Is anyone else getting really depressed from this isolation? I so am, cant hardly get off the couch anymore, am trying to force myself to do stuff around my house but its almost too much effort, I miss Greg so much especially now, Im not meaning to gripe but I cant tell anyone else this, don't want tp upset them or make them worry. I always kept my grandson while his mom worked but now she is working from home and I cant see him except to video chat, I totally get it but really miss my family and am  dreading Easter this year, makes me tear up  everytime I think of it and have really thought about snuggling with Gregs ashes box, too weird.I just wondered if any of you are feeling this way too, love you all too and stay safe

Comment by deborah peck on April 9, 2020 at 10:57am

Chuck, my heart breaks for you and your family, such a horrible thing to happen, she sounds like a remarkable woman and that you have many good memories. The nativity scene is beautiful and such a nice thing she did for you, truly thoughtful, my heart and prayers go out to all of you during this difficult time

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 7, 2020 at 3:02pm

That is beautiful. Thanks for sharing the picture and the post.

Comment by Steve G. on April 7, 2020 at 7:57am

This a picture of the Nativity set that Chuck referred to.

Comment by Steve G. on April 7, 2020 at 7:56am

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on April 7, 2020 at 7:40am

Thank you Mary Jane and Sara,

Colin's Mom, Betty Ann, went quietly to her reward yesterday. Besides now confronted with navigating the current awful situation of making arrangements for a distanced service and burial, Colin and his wife Nancy have Diana, Colin's older sister now living with them. Diana is mentally challenged, and it fell on him to find a way to explain to her that Mom wasn't coming home from the hospital. My heart breaks for him as I write this - he told me years ago that he thinks of me as his second Dad, and I see him as the son I would have loved to have.

The following is what I wrote for Steve to post for me on Colin's Facebook page, since I myself am not a member there.

Colin, I agree with you that your mother would wish to surrender her ICU bed and ventilator to another patient once it was certain that she wasn’t going to recover. The best example of her thoughtful and generous spirit I can remember comes from a long ago gesture she made toward me.
I had seen a beautiful ceramic Nativity set she had hand painted at your home one Christmas. I admired it and shared with her the fact that when I was a child the modest Nativity that my mother set up each Christmas was her very favorite Holiday decoration and how much I wished that I had that set now after having lost her in 1983. Betty Ann asked if I had my own set at home, which I didn’t. The next Christmas I was overwhelmed when she made a gift to me of that lovely large set she herself had painted – her initials on the bottom of each piece. When I protested she said she wanted me to have it to remind me of my own mother – that she would make another set for herself. I have this set still, and every Christmas when I arrange it I am reminded of not only my own mother Colin, but of yours – the generous kind woman who through her gift to me showed her clear understanding of not only the true meaning of Christmas, but of the command to love thy neighbor as thyself.
Colin, your mother will always be remembered with fondness and love as the sincerely kind woman she was. God bless you and give all of your family peace.

Love to you all, and please stay safe

Chuck

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 6, 2020 at 10:47pm

Chuck, I am kind of stunned about Colin’s mother having COVID 19. This is the first REAL person I know of, who isn’t just someone on the news. Until now, it was as if I was watching some long TV drama..on every channel..but unreal, just the same.

Now, it is real. Hard to wrap my head around it..I am so sorry..for you, Colin, his mother, I dunno, what to say.

Comment by Sara Murphy on April 6, 2020 at 9:54pm

Chuck...I'm proud of you making it to the 5 yr mark.  That was no easy feat especially while suffering a devastating loss.  Larry is proud of your accomplishment and continues to watch over you.  I agree with you that since this crisis started, talk and images of alcohol are everywhere.  It's overwhelming on Facebook.

I'm so sorry that Colin's mother is suffering from this virus and about to lose her battle.  I'm sending you a tight hug, maybe Steve can pass it to you from me.

Love you guys...….and all my Legacy family

Sara

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on April 6, 2020 at 3:39pm

Wow Mary Jane,

You will never know how much your post means to me, especially today. A few hours ago Larry's son Colin called to tell me that his mother who is on a respirator in NJ with Covid is being removed from life support later today. Since that call my mind has been filled with memories of her and thoughts are forming for what I will write about her as a personal memorial. I am feeling a bit adrift at this moment, and Steve is calmly watching as I go about things, ready to help with a hug and a shoulder to cry on when the time comes...and it will.

Thank you dear friend for such encouragement, for just as I earlier told Colin that he was strong and he would get through this, now you have done the same for me.

God bless us all, and prayers for all around the world who are in mourning for loved ones lost to this pandemic.

Love, Chuck

 

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