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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Universe

Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

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Comment by Sara Murphy on May 16, 2020 at 10:32am

Deb....I'm sending a hug to you today.  It's sad (at least for me) that all happy joyous occasions are tinged with sadness because Ken can't be here to celebrate with us.  Knowing that he's still with us and happy for us doesn't quite do the trick.  Perhaps at some point in the future, your grandson can make visiting the ballparks a memorial trip for his grandpa....maybe even with his own son some day.  Make sure Fenway Park is on his list.

My sister and her family have always lived with my parents so my nieces lived with their grandparents who were very involved in their lives.  One of them was 15 when my father passed away in July 2018 and on his last day in the ICU with all of us (I have 4 siblings) gathered with him, that niece was so distraught and crying about "who's going to do this with me now, who's going to that with me now".  One of those things was watching all the ballgames together and talking about the Red Sox.  I really feel for your grandson and I'm sorry for the pain he's in.

I hope today is a better day

Comment by Marsha H on May 14, 2020 at 6:08am

Dear Deborah ...  Such a sad story and you said the only words you could.  We just miss our loved one and what could have been so it's good to have a cry the both of you.  Is there any way possible that you could take your grandson and perhaps his mother along with you to at least see one good baseball game?  I think your grandson would love it!  I know sports are shut-down right now, but not forever and you can promise your grandson as soon as the virus issue is over that's what you'll do.

Like you, I too just keep busy when Ernie's anniversary date comes up and it has gotten better, but he's always in my heart and I do think of the wonderful memories we had together.

Stay safe and take care.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by deborah peck on May 13, 2020 at 11:22pm

Yesterday was the 3 year anniversary for me, I just kept busy and my mind off of it. Today was my grandsons 16th birthday, he and his mom lived with us his whole life and Greg had always told him when he got his license they were going on a road trip to visit as many baseball stadiums they could. he got his license today and while we were happy, him and I both had a cry over what wouldn't happen for him. Its sad to think of Greg not being here for these monumental moments. Tried to remind him his grandpa is watching but didn't really help either of us, such a tough things for kids to understand when we cant even understand it all.

Comment by deborah peck on May 13, 2020 at 12:03pm

Im so happy for you Chicago, its always great to dream about our loved ones

Comment by Sara Murphy on May 13, 2020 at 10:30am
HI Chicago...good to hear from you. Glad Rose dropped in for a visit. I think she was telling you she approves of your current lady
Comment by Marsha H on May 13, 2020 at 5:37am

Chicago Beard ...  So happy you had that beautiful dream of your Rose.  I always feel they are visiting us every so often even if it's in our dreams and I'm sure that she is happy you're happy in your life.  You are one lucky man.

I haven't had any dreams of Ernie for several years although sometimes I feel he's close.  

Comment by Chicago Beard on May 12, 2020 at 6:00pm

Back at ya Todd!

Comment by Todd B. Goodrich on May 12, 2020 at 4:05pm

That's awesome Chicago! Hope all is well in San Berdoo! Still surviving in Riverside. Cheers to the I.E. 

Comment by Chicago Beard on May 12, 2020 at 3:17pm

Had a dream about my Rose recently. Had not had one in a few years. Do not remember much detail except that she made sure that we looked into each others eyes, those beautiful eyes. What was ironic to me is that it was the day after my current lady's birthday. It was very comforting to have had that dream.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on May 5, 2020 at 5:10pm

I read all your posts here with great interest and also sadness. The thoughts, emotions, fears, and deep, unrelenting sadness associated with the loss of your beloved spouse/partner are feelings that I relate to deeply. This is a great forum where people who have suffered the same losses can come and share their innermost thoughts and feelings without being judged. And I am thankful for the bonds of friendship and kinship that we have been able to find here.

Deborah P, very sorry for you that the month of May comes with a number of sad associations. I don't know what words of comfort to offer you, except to say that I am sending you good thoughts as you go through the month full of painful associations.

Marsha, so good to have you back here and writing. We have Mary Jane to thank for the nudge and the inquiry for us to bring you out here again. Ernie's anniversary of passing was recently, always a very hard marker. Very sorry to hear about the loss of your girlfriend. As the years go by, the list of those whom we loved who are now gone only grows, as Charles in his usual eloquent manner put it.

It's good to know that in spite of all the unprecedented challenges and hardships that COVID 19 has brought to us all on a global scale, that all of you here are safe.

I canceled my Japan trip in March that I was going to take with my friends from Alaska. Even though I lost money, I am relieved that I didn't take that trip because I would have have hated to get sick in Japan, or stuck in quarantine; neither of them good scenarios. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and food on the table, things that a lot of people here and abroad do not have. This pandemic has been very hard for me in a different way. It will be six years in August that Joseph died, and I had stopped crying every single day for about a year or so. Even though getting up in the morning and facing a new day and going to bed for the night have remained extremely difficult for me, the crying spells had gone. But now with Coronavirus, people dying everyday, I cannot stop crying at the news of strangers dying: young people, husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, children and siblings. It's all so very heartbreaking, and it brings back the painful memories of the months leading up to Joseph's death. The knowledge that people never ever "get over the loss of their loved ones; time mutes the pain, but the pain is always there and life is never the same again.

 

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