Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7, 2022. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on January 11, 2022 at 2:47pm

Hello everyone.  I am fine...but I have a question...which I wouldn,t have asked, if I hadn,t discovered a fellow neighbor, who’s wife died around the same time Bob did..has the same thing happen to him:

I LOOSE stuff all day long..simple things, a hair brush, lighter I just had, just objects. Years ago, I started asking BOB if he could FIND stuff for me...and much to my shock, and delight...he can, and DOES! All the time. IE: I will look all over for a hair clip I wear often..can’t find it I ask him where it might be? Almost SECONDS later, I find it..sitting in plane sight..where I had just looked before. When I discovered the friend did the berynsame thing..asked his departed wife...I thought maybe this happens to others too? It’s kinda cool!

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on January 10, 2022 at 7:01pm

Hi Mary Jane, and everyone - 

Steve and I are pretty well, although for slightly over a week we both felt symptoms that could have been colds, mild flu, or possible the new Covid variant Omicron, at least as those symptoms for vaccinated folks have been described. I am still feeling greatly fatigued, having some bouts of mental confusion, or "brain fog" s I've seen it called. My encephalopathy makes it nearly impossible for me to say when something is caused by that or something new affecting me.

Steve had a few bad days when I was confronting the thoughts that, not having drivers' license, I would have to either take my chances or get an Uber if, God forbid, he took a turn for the worse. Since then he has put the Uber app on my phone so I wouldn't have trouble calling for a ride should we need one.  Mary Jane, I know you also don't drive, so we, like Blanche DuBois, must rely on the kindness of strangers. 

Hope everybody is keeping as well and safe as possible, Covid fatigue notwithstanding. I've already alienated a friend upon whom Steve and I relied for rides to medical appointments over what I suspect he considers my "Chicken Little" attitude. He is , as he says, so over this all - testing, shots, the whole thing - and wants to live his life and stop being negative about it. I haven't engaged with him over his last comments, but can only repeat here what I've heard from medical experts on TV often - you may be done with Covid, but Covid isn't necessarily done with you.

Fingers crossed for there to be moments of peace, kindness, and even fun for everyone in the months ahead - we've all withstood the horrific blows of having lost our beloved spouses and should find something supportive in knowing that we all are stronger than we ever imagined. Please lets also be kind to one another .

Love, Chuck

Comment by Chicago Beard on January 10, 2022 at 3:04pm

Hi Mary Jane

I am currently doing OK. Thanks for asking. How about you?

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 10, 2022 at 3:00pm

Hello everyone. Just checking to see how everyone is doing. 

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 1, 2022 at 11:58am

Happy New Year everyone..Marsha. Thanks for the positive posts! Yes, I had a regular beer yesterday afternoon, and two strong beers last night, but they affected me VERY strongly! That’s kind of good, cuz if THAT can happen, it is time to stop. I figured I have only been consuming beer again, since August...just short of 6 months, so I KNOW I will be fine. This was a wake up call..I think my AGE is a factor in beer reacting much stronger than when I was younger.

l hope you all have an amazing year..I KNOW I will. Bye for now..enjoy this first day of our new lives and new year!

Comment by Chicago Beard on December 31, 2021 at 8:28pm

Happy New Year everyone!

Comment by Marsha H on December 31, 2021 at 7:17am

Dear Mary Jane ...  I'll be emailing you girl.  I've been busy shoveling snow and what a workout!  Haven't even been able to take the dogs out for a walk and they're bored like me.  

Mary, if you drink too much beer your lips are going to be sucked right into one of the bottles.  LOL  I know it's Covid making people do strange things.  I have to look in the mirror to figure out if it's me or not!  Sometimes the dogs growl at me and I know I have to get it together and get moving.  Covid has turned people into drinking more and if not that since it's legal in Canada a joint or two and if not eating all the time.  My wish for this New Year is you try and stop that drinking and hope your daughter does the same.  Get out of the house!!!!  Get moving; meet people; learn to laugh at yourself and snuggle up with your kitty.  Life is worth living and get some fire under your butt and don't let our Governments ruin our lives.  I'm going to go down in flames and better that than giving in.  I love you Mary and care.  

Here is to a Happy New Year to you and your daughter and wishing you good health, good life and peace.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 31, 2021 at 7:08am

Oh my dear Steve ...  I've had that happen to me too.  Glad Chuck is picking things up  re the posts for you.  

Like Christmas, I will be spending New Year's Eve alone with my dogs as we have so much snow here.  That Arctic front hit us.  I'm tired of shoveling snow, but my girlfriend also helps me so I can't complain.  Most people are staying home and our Health Canada (the Grinches) have closed down most things for bringing in the New Year.  Oh well, I'll  put the fireplace on and have one of my White Russians and then kiss the dogs on the lips.

I hope your New Year is full of good wishes my dear friend; we all deserve it.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 31, 2021 at 7:02am

Dear Todd ...  You are such a sweetie and I enjoy your posts.  I am so happy to  hear you are beginning to live and moving forward.  We all are here to encourage each other.  I wish you the best New Year ever and that you stay healthy and are at peace with yourself.  I know, I know, some days are tough, but I find I just slap myself on the cheek and get moving.  Hey, I have more than 2 cheeks!  I also kick my butt when I feel I'm dragging my feet.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 31, 2021 at 6:58am

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!  I wish you all good health, practicing smiling and get up and get moving!  This old Irish/Scottish gal doesn't give in to sitting around and I'm up and at 'em.  I'm so sick of Covid I ignore not seeing friends who want to see me.  Life is so precious and I'm not missing out.  Making snow angels in the snow right now and I think my neighbors figure I've really lost all my brain cells.  Be a kid, flip that fear button OFF and LIVE!  2022 is going to be good for all of us.  

I love you all and you are all  in my prayers.

Love & Hugs to all



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