Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

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Comment by Teresa on July 2, 2010 at 9:47am
I haven't quite figured this out, but I read that someone was having their 21st Wedding Anniversary. I am so sorry for your loss. I was only married 7 months when I lost my beloved husband. So, when the one year anniversary came around, I went out to eat with our Best Man and Matron of Honor. I also bought myself an Anniversary present, something I had always wanted (a jukebox, table top). I put an article in the Celebrations section of the newspaper. And last but not least, I planted a beautiful palm tree. My husband was an arborist, so it seemed like the perfect thing to do. I find all the firsts are hard....but a missed Anniversary after 21 years must feel really bad. I liked what my girlfriend said after some time of morning the death of her husband. She announces from now on, I will celebrate my husbands life, and not his death. We all know our mates would want us to go on living. My beloved husband loved life and fought so hard to live even with the excruciating pain he was in. I want to just pull the covers over my head and not get out of bed, but I tell myself, after having the privelege of being his wife, and his fine example, I have to get out of bed and do something constructive with my life. And along the way, I have experienced some joy, and a feeling that my husband would be proud of me for moving on with my life.
Comment by Connie Berry on July 1, 2010 at 11:51pm
It has been 8 months since the death of my husband and the pain of that loss is just as fresh as the day I lost him. A part of me is missing and I don't know how to get it back. Eric, was my life it's so hard to get through each day without him. The memories and his picture in a frame is all that I have left. I miss his smile, his sense of humor, the scent of his cologne. Lord I ask, when will the pain go away, the answer ... it never does. I just want my husband back, for all of this just to be a terrible nightmare were I'll wake and he'll be by my side. To all of you that are hurting as I am I send you a hug. God Bless
Comment by kathleen caylor on July 1, 2010 at 6:23pm
My husband's ex boss called the other night.Asked if I would like to go out with a friend of his.After a pause,I said I just don't have the energy for a new relationship.It feels like too much work.I wouldn't mind just hanging out with a group and having a few beers but the idea of a date scares the cr-p out of me.I know I wouldn't do anything but talk about Ernie,I'm sure that would be fun!
Comment by kathleen caylor on July 1, 2010 at 6:17pm
Yaca,A day you can't forget and no one else remembers!!It does make you angry.
Comment by Nancy Peterson on July 1, 2010 at 5:45pm
I said a prayer for you Kathy
Comment by mark on July 1, 2010 at 4:00pm
thinking of you today !
Comment by mark on July 1, 2010 at 4:00pm
Thinking of you today !!!! :)
Comment by Yaca Attwood on July 1, 2010 at 12:12pm
Made it through 29 July year since Byron died. Got up that morning, looked at the pictures I have on my dresser, burst into tears for 15-20 minutes. Opened the Memory Box, looked at his baby pictures, wedding pictures, the lock of his hair I cut right after he died....smiled at some, cried at others.

Then - stopped crying, because I had to go to work in The Summer Of Oil And The Great Data Center Move of 2010.....meetings, user requests, etc - Life of A DBA.

My friend Pam took me out for dinner - asked me how I was doing - I was okay; however, today, 1 July, I find myself feeling a bit angry - other than Pam, NO ONE remembered the 29th - I understand everyone is busy, lots of things going on - and his death day would probably only matter to me.......

Peace, healing and blessing be upon you all - Yaca Attwood Perkins
Comment by Nina on July 1, 2010 at 11:10am
Hi everyone, today has been 4 months since God called my loving husband home to be a Rose in his Garden. Today is my day off from work, & I've been trying to keep busy to keep my mind occupied, but its not working. I miss my husband more than I thought possible to miss any one or anything. I would give anything to see my husband & to hear his voice again. I never thought loosing a loved one could hurt so much. My husband was my whole world & the love of my life. When if ever does the pain start to go away? God Bless all of you.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on July 1, 2010 at 10:13am
I wish I could tell everyone how to get over the loss of a loved one.I wish that I had answers. The truth is simply this.There is no answer. We all must face it in our own way.Support groups help to some degree. Therepists cannot help as it only draws out our feelings even more. The reality is that we are alone, have the empty house to go back to and do things without our mate.We each must deal with it in our own way and own time. Perhaps that will never happen.After 14 and a half months for me,my wife is not with me anymore and to do ANYTHING without her is a never ending blow to the world I had for over 44 years with her.There is no life without her and only we can hope that maybe we can come to some kind of grip with it.Dont know when,if ever. This site has good ears to listen to all of us coping. Hugs to all. Hugs are good. Please, ENJOY THE DAY !!!!

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