Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Peg Otley on June 9, 2010 at 11:41pm
I went to my parents house tonight to celebrate their 61st anniversary. It was also my aunt and uncles 68th anniversary. Now that is a real task!!! My problem is that when I got home and was alone again, I started feeling this horribly lost feeling. I will never have a 37th anniversary let alone a 61st. I don't feel jealous as I would NEVER begrudge anyone such a beautiful event. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I feel cheated. All I know is the pain is unbearable right now.
A message to my love:
And honey, I miss you, and I'm being good
And I'd love to be with you, if only I could.
Comment by Connie on June 9, 2010 at 10:09pm
Tom, I talk to myself all the time. It is the best way to avoid an argument. I never disagree with myself. Sometimes it can make for good conversation. And you know, now with cell phones and blue tooth devices, no one can really be sure whether you are talking to yourself or on a cell phone.
Comment by Virginia on June 9, 2010 at 8:31pm
LOL Tom sounds like me
Comment by Connie H. on June 9, 2010 at 1:45pm
Was jarred awake in the middle of the night last night!
I had a dream so real! It was my Phill.( he left on 9/5/09) I have had him in my dreams before, but this was so different! He was alive and asking why there was "rush" written on his cremation paper!(wasn't, of course in reality). I remember freaking out and crying in his arms over the fact that all his clothes had been given to a mens homeless shelter. I also remember thinking, I could get back the things of his that I gave to the kids and gkids to remember him by( his watch, rings,etc.. I can't remember what, if anything happened after that. I know it was just a dream, but so real at the time.
I try everyday, but this pain is so deep. I miss him so much. I pray everyday for the strength to go on as I pray for all of you, also.
Comment by Virginia on June 8, 2010 at 7:53pm
good for you tom
Comment by Virginia on June 8, 2010 at 2:35pm
Dixie you are right, we could talk all day about what others who are not experincing the lost we are, what we should be doing and how long we should grieve, they have no idea what it's like until they walk in our shoes. Virginia
Comment by kathleen caylor on June 8, 2010 at 1:06pm
Mark,Regrets will eat you alive.Cherish the memories that you have,for they will sustain you.
Comment by mark on June 8, 2010 at 10:53am
Every moment of the day i think of Steven ; I now seem to be going thur a period of gulit for what we didn't get to do /or wanted to do .
Comment by Dixie Olson on June 7, 2010 at 10:11pm
Ive sat here at my computer and read through some of the memories posted here, We are all woven together by grief, each of us handles grief in differant ways For me first it was shock, I know I went to my husbands funeral, I even got up and spoke, as to what I said I couldnt tell you, I felt I
had to hold it together for the family and then the tears came in waves for days and months on end I couldnt sleep and I was so very tired. I went through the mad stage mad at God and mad at my husband for leaving me I took everything that belonged to my husband and gave it to my sons and grandkids, aside from a few small pitcures you would never know he lived here, it was to painfull to look at his things People tend to judge "us" as to where we are in our grief, our wedding vows say till death do us part, but if a person starts a new realtionship right away people tend to gossip. No one but you knows how you are feeling, and there are no rules as to how you handle your grief, or for how long. I would ask all of you who read this to tell your loved ones everyday how much you love them, in death some people have time to prepare to say there goodbye's where as others dont get that chance I want to ask whatever or whoever you believe in to bless you in your time of sorrow,with time it will get better, but you will never forget your loved ones.
Comment by Virginia on June 7, 2010 at 10:08am
Randolpf, ((( ))) to you also,I also wear my husbands wedding ring, I took it off of him in the hopsital when he started to swell, I put in on my middle finger but it kept falling off as he had bigger hands then I, tried putting it on a medical alert neckless I wear, nope so I finally put it on my ring finger inbetween my engagement ring and my wedding band thats where you can see it best. I also will never take them off on a permanat basis only when I need to for test or in the hospital. theres a funny story to the purchess of my wedding set. lol He was taught a lesson that day. Virginia

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