Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: Jan 20
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019.
Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019.
Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22, 2019.
Sara ... I am so happy you got some peace from my poem. As I said to Diane C, wrote that long before Ernie passed away and it's as if the words were from a higher power and I had to write it down. I believe with all my heart our spouses are with us and each step forward we make I am sure they are smiling at us. You will do just fine at work. What I have taught myself is the fact there is always an exit and by that I mean if you should get teary-eyed you can always go to the washroom and calm yourself, but trust us when we say it will get easier for you.
Diane C ... Always wonderful to see you post and both of us have had the loss for 9 years. Thank you so much for the lovely compliment regarding my poem. I have no idea why I wrote it as it was long before Ernie passed away, but I was just sitting one evening and it came to me as if the words were meant to be written down from a high power. Strange how wonderful things can happen to us when we least expect it. I am so proud of you for getting on with your life and I know just how tough it can be, but each year does get a little better. I hope I don't turn into a cranky old lady. LOL
Thank you so much, Steve. I am sorry if it brought back sad memories, but THAT story, more than anything I have ever read or heard about a life “after” broke down any doubts I ever had about seeing our loved ones, and even pets as we cross over. To me, Her JOY in seeing Mark, who was WAITING for her...and the fact that YOU were privileged to witness something that we here on earth, rarely see, is a true blessing.
People can ramble on and on about what they THINK or FEEL about what happens after...and religions try to indoctrinate us, by ideas sanctioned without proof...but animals cannot lie, or make things their actions....she just expressed love and JOY at the moment she entered her new life, at finding someone she loves waiting for her. I think that was a gift from God, for YOU...a glimpse into knowing Mark was happy, and and Bella would be too...thank you so much for sharing that gift with us again.
I posted that story last May in response to a post who had lost their dog below is a portion of that post:
" I know your loss all to well, reading your post brought all my memories of that one evening when I lost my Bella. It was late in the evening when I noticed that she had not eaten or taken water during the day while I was at work. When I got home she got up and wanted to go out, so we did, but she turned around and headed back for the apartment. She laid down looking up at me and wagging her tale. I went for treats and she ate one and left the other one. It was later on that evening while watching TV she tried to get up and could not. I thought about calling for help to get her into the car and as I was passing that thought through my head, I noticed that she was starring out the glass doors to our little walled in patio wagging her tail all the while. She suddenly sat up using her front legs and started winning wagging her tail faster, looking out at the dark patio and then back at me. I knew at that moment she was waiting on me to do or say something. I opened the doors and she just tilted her head at me and laid back down. I went over to her and sat down, she put her big paw in my hand and looked at me. So, I laid down beside her on the floor petting her head and telling her it was ok, she could leave me now and join Mark. I fell asleep on the floor only to wake up and discover that she had passed on, she and Mark were together again."
For Chuck or/and Steve..I have a request. Awhile ago, one of you shared an incident from the past, when your DOG saw your loved one after he had passed (it might have been through a patio glass door? ..and barked JOYFULLY with love and excitement..I cannot remember who posted it, or if it was Bella, but to me, that was the most awesome, wonderful affirmation they are still with us. I have searched a bit...and didn,t see that post..maybe I have everything wrong...but to me, that was the catalyst that affirmed everything I feel...they ARE still with us, and will always be, until we join them.
Dear Sara ... You are doing nothing wrong and, in fact, believe it or not you are trying to make a new life and move on. You will never leave Ken behind because he is around you and in your heart. He would be happy you are moving on and can you imagine if you kept feeling so guilty you couldn't move ahead how Ken would feel? It is 9 years this coming April, Ernie passed away and I have worked hard to try and live my own life as best I can, but he is in my heart; I often will talk to him about my day (of course in the privacy of my home. ) LOL
Here is a poem I did and I hope it helps.
WHITE LIGHT AND ANGELS
THERE IS A LIGHT THAT BECKONS ME
MY PAIN IS GONE, MY SOUL IS FREE.
ON ANGELS WINGS I SOAR ABOUT,
TO LAND ON FIELDS OF FLOWERS I LOVE.
A GENTLE WIND HAS TOUCHED MY FACE,
TREES BEND THEIR BOUGHS IN ALL THEIR GRACE.
I SENSE YOUR SORROW, FEEL YOUR TEARS,
I WON'T FORGET, YOU'RE ALWAYS NEAR.
DON'T CRY FOR ME BECAUSE I'M GONE,
I LOVE YOU SO, BE STRONG, GO ON.
IN TIME THAT LIGHT WILL BECKON THEE,
YOUR PAIN IS GONE, YOUR SOUL IS FREE.
ON ANGELS WINGS WE'LL SOAR ABOVE,
I'LL CRADLE YOU IN ARMS OF LOVE.
WE'LL MEET AGAIN YOU MUST BE STRONG.
BY MARCY MADAY COPYRIGHT JULY 9, 1998
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