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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1376
Latest Conversations: 14 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Steve G. 14 hours ago

Sara, I agree with you. 

I think of mother earth as a living entity connected to our living universe, created by our Eternal Father - God.

There are more stars in each galaxy than the grains of sand on any beach on this planet.

I believe that everyone and everything is connected.

So, yes God has our attention, just not sure if everyone gets it yet.

Comment by Sara Murphy 14 hours ago

Steve.....it's funny you say that about Mother Earth.  Back when this lockdown started in mid-March, I had said to some people that it was God's way of sending us all to our rooms to think about what we've done.  I'm ready for my "grounding" to be over 

Comment by Chicago Beard 14 hours ago

Hello everyone.

Happy 4th of July. Hope you are all well. Please stay safe!

Comment by Steve G. 19 hours ago

Happy 4th. stay safe.  

I must say that life has changed everyone one and as someone I know on FB said "it's as if mother earth has sent us all to our rooms".  

Everyday life as we knew it will be different on the other side of this pandemic,  My prayers are simple, may we all be better and treat everyone, everywhere the same way we want to be treated.

Sending hugs to one and all,

Love

Steve

Comment by Sara Murphy yesterday

Happy 4th of July.  Please be safe everyone.  Praying this pandemic ends soon. 

Comment by deborah peck yesterday

Happy 4th of July everyone, hope this finds everyone safe and healthy

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 14, 2020 at 3:06pm

Dear Marsha,

My wise, big sister you always have so much insight whether it is on grief or on life in general. I agree with you 100% about what you say about this deadly virus teaching us something good. While the pandemic is killing people by the thousands everyday the world over--I just lost my 58-year-old cousin to it--the virus has taught us, the human race, to be more compassionate, to be more caring and above all, not to take our blessings for granted. My cousin was a very loving man who leaves behind his widow and two teenage daughters; tragic and deeply sad. He was one of those people who truly cared about other people and shared the joy around him. His loss is even greater because in our modern world, as you so poignantly note, there are fewer and fewer people who care about other people, who take the time to visit an elderly or lonely relative or friend. My cousin always thought of others and stayed in touch and helped people whenever he could. May he be resting in eternal peace. Amen.

While technology is a blessing in so many ways, in medical science, in telecommunications and other fields, the past 10 or more years due to technology like smartphones people lost touch with each other in a genuine way. Even in a traditional society like Bangladesh, the ill effects of technology had become acute where young people had stopped caring for their elderly relatives, which used to be a normal thing. In traditional societies like BD, the social fabric is dependent on tight family relations. But texting, streaming movies on your phones and having buds in your ears, the younger generation had become extremely self-centered and uncaring. All they want to do is spend hours on their phones texting and using social media and having utter disregard for old fashioned values.

The scary pandemic that has brought death and lockdown is teaching people to care for one another in a genuine way again. Over the past few months since the lockdown, I have personally felt people have become more aware and caring of others' needs, fears and anxieties and are reaching out to one another in a more humane and genuine way. I am hearing the same thing from others as well, that more people have become more caring towards others and are seeing the value in real human connections, not just through texting and messaging. IMHO Coronavirus comes with a silver lining: it is renewing humanity in people, strengthening personal bonds, purifying the air that we breathe and cleaning the environment due to less pollution from cars and airplanes. Our planet has benefitted from it; the human race is learning the hard and cruel way to be more loving and caring about others, not to think only about profit but also about the wellbeing of the environment and of future generations. It is giving us pause to reevaluate what we had become as a species, a me-me people with little regard for others' wellbeing and for the greater good. 

I pray for the pandemic to pass quickly and for all my family on this site to stay safe and stay well. 

Love and hugs, Trina

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 14, 2020 at 3:02pm

Dear Marsha,

My wise, big sister you always have so much insight whether it is on grief or on life in general. I agree with you 100% about what you say about this deadly virus teaching us something good. While the pandemic is killing people by the thousands everyday the world over--I just lost my 58-year-old cousin to it--the virus has taught us, the human race, to be more compassionate, to be more caring and above all, not to take our blessings for granted. My cousin was a very loving man who leaves behind his widow and two teenage daughters; tragic and deeply sad. He was one of those people who truly cared about other people and shared the joy around him. His loss is even greater because in our modern world, as you so poignantly note, there are fewer and fewer people who care about other people, who take the time to visit an elderly or lonely relative or friend. My cousin always thought of others and stayed in touch and helped people whenever he could. May he be resting in eternal peace. Amen.

While technology is a blessing in so many ways, in medical science, in telecommunications and other fields, the past 10 or more years due to technology like smartphones people lost touch with each other in a genuine way. Even in a traditional society like Bangladesh, the ill effects of technology had become acute where young people had stopped caring for their elderly relatives, which used to be a normal thing. In traditional societies like BD, the social fabric is dependent on tight family relations. But texting, streaming movies on your phones and having buds in your ears, the younger generation had become extremely self-centered and uncaring. All they want to do is spend hours on their phones texting and using social media and having utter disregard for old fashioned values.

The scary pandemic that has brought death and lockdown is teaching people to care for one another in a genuine way again. Over the past few months since the lockdown, I have personally felt people have become more aware and caring of others' needs, fears and anxieties and are reaching out to one another in a more humane and genuine way. I am hearing the same thing from others as well, that more people have become more caring towards others and are seeing the value in real human connections, not just through texting and messaging. IMHO Coronavirus comes with a silver lining: it is renewing humanity in people, strengthening personal bonds, purifying the air that we breathe and cleaning the environment due to less pollution from cars and airplanes. Our planet has benefitted from it; the human race is learning the hard and cruel way to be more loving and caring about others, not to think only about profit but also about the wellbeing of the environment and of future generations. It is giving us pause to reevaluate what we had become as species, a me-me people with little regard for others' wellbeing and for the greater good. 

I pray for the pandemic to pass quickly and for all my family on this site to stay safe and stay well. 

Love and hugs, Trina

Comment by Marsha H on June 14, 2020 at 6:42am

To all of my angels here,  I know this virus has changed our lives greatly bringing fear and anxiety to many, but not all.  I feel at least that I've learned from this virus and here is what I've learned and it's all good:  

From the rush of everyday life with people's noses texting, buds in their ears, etc., now I see less of this and actual connections between people.  Instead of seeing people walk by each other not smiling or even connecting now I see people smiling or simply talking in a line-up for the first time in a very long time and better yet some offer to help you.  The ones we love and care about are far more precious to us now than before and the greatest thing of all that I see with so many people in my town is they are connecting with friends and families are closer together by phone Skype and loving every minute of it and some biking riding, hiking or just walking with smiles on their faces waving away at who whoever passes them.  While technology can be a wonderful thing and living in a Western country is a privilege compared to many countries we have taken so much away from the beauty of it all.  With traffic coming to a lull our environment has cleared up a great deal; I see the mountains clearer; see children playing old games from years ago; more laughter between even strangers and myself while waiting in a line-up and on and on it goes.  Even our rivers, oceans are slowly clearing up.  People are finally enjoying the beauty of nature and the songs of birds.  I pray each night that our leaders in government can see this huge change and that we learn lessons from it and if they don't get it we sure do and we can do something about it. 

Here is a wonderful song by one of the greats 'It's a Wonderful World and I hope you enjoy it.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nGKqH26xlg

I hope that fear and anxiety leaves all of you and that you can get out still and enjoy so much beauty of the country we lives in.  For myself I simply refuse to be afraid and have great faith this to shall pass.  There is someone greater than us watching over us.

Stay save and enjoy life my angels.  I love you all.

Marsha    

Comment by Marsha H on June 14, 2020 at 5:28am

My dear Chuck ...

I'm so sorry you are going through so much sadness.  This virus has us all going a little titled and I, myself have been reduced to tears over the littlest of things.  You  had a routine with Larry watching those awards and suddenly they were breaking that routine, but not to worry, in ways it will heal you even more.  Larry will always be in your heart and there are so many memories that you will always have.

Dramatic?  I think not and to be honest I never trusted a man that never admitted to having a good cry.  Instead of years of 'men don't cry' it's now 'it's alright for men to cry.'  Crying releasing so much stress.  

Thank you my friend for the link and I can see why you enjoy it so as I do.

Two things in this world that connects anyone from any country is singing and dancing, so my friend, get up and sing as loud as you can and dance as fast as you can.

Love ya

Marsha

 

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