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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Started by denise. Last reply by Marsha H Oct 25. 4 Replies

Need Advice:Grief and Chronic Fatigue

Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Kaela Roster Federle Sep 25. 27 Replies

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Comment by Jan on August 20, 2009 at 11:16am
At 11:12am on August 20th, 2009, Jan said…
I would just like to say that I too have had a terrible loss to our family ... but it has been almost four years now and at times it still seems like yesterday ... the pain dulls but never goes away ... and losing my husband to a seven year battle with a brain tumor was a double-edged sword for both myself and our children. Through it all, we never had hospice or counseling for his illness because my husband did not believe he was going to die and we stood strong with him but in his absence we miss him as everyone misses their loved ones when they are no longer here physically. I would also like to say that before my husband passed I spent some time talking with him ... we did have through those seven years many ups and downs ... but in the end there was no greater love for a human being than what he had for us and what we had for him. He was human and wished he could have done things differently but regardless, he knew we were there for him through everything. Everyday, I remind our three children, who were 18, 17 and 14 when he passed, that he is still here with them and always will be a part of them and everything they do. His spirit and soul will help guide them and they will always have a guardian angel on their shoulder. We all have angels who go before us and it is painful ... but we have to try to look for the bright side and find them in everything we do that is good. That is what they would want for us ... I am sure of that ... I tell my children to be strong and the best they can be because they will make their dad proud. They are wonderful children and I am proud of them as well ... God Bless Everyone and may you get the strength and support you need each and every day! Delete Comment
Comment by robin s bridge on August 18, 2009 at 12:50am
hello I am going through the process of being bereaved at the moment, my darling wife whom had been with me for the past 32 years is now dying of cancer
she was admitted to the hospice last thursday and now I keep on weeping!
no 2 weeks ago my sister was down here lasat week and now the consultant says there is no more hope
any suggestions what I can do.
I am still a young man
My eldest sister died of cancer in 1998 and my mother died in 1962,
what next? I ask myself
Comment by Frannie Manzoni on August 16, 2009 at 10:59pm
I lost my husband in Nov. 2008. I joined a bereavement group called HOPE. They are in New Jersey. Specifically for widows and widowers. They are helping me go on.
Comment by Doreen Johnson on August 16, 2009 at 2:39am
I think most of you have experienced your losses more recently than I. I lost my husband Dec. 13th, 2005. I have not approached any grief counseling or groups. I guess I mostly have just focused on getting up and doing what I have to to support my daughter and I. My daughter is 24....an only child, quite a "daddy's girl", and is Bipolar and also fights depression and anxiety. She is unable to work, and I also take meds for depression and anxiety from even before my husband died. It's hard for me alone to provide for us both, and she has no medical coverage so is existing without the benefit of the meds she took in the past.

Maybe I'm letting myself stay stuck in this spot. I have lost a few close relatives...but as much as that hurt, losing my husband hurts terribly. We were together over 23 years....I don't know how to be just me, let alone try to help my daughter to have a life.
Comment by Mary Jane Stark on August 15, 2009 at 10:46am
My husband passed away 7 weeks ago today. My life is falling apart little by little and it does not seem to stop, the dominio effect. I am so sad today. I miss him so very, very much.
Comment by Judy on August 5, 2009 at 11:54pm
Hi everyone, my husband died suddenly 8 months ago. It was just before our 40th anniversary. We married very young and did everything together. I read the books and know the terrible pain and emptiness I'm having is normal. That doesn't seem to help much even though I keep reading. My story is similar to many of yours. I feel lost also. I'm told I should be grateful for the 40 years we had. I am. But we were planning retirement and making plans and now I've lost him. Still too soon for me. I've never lived alone and I don't know how to do it. I have family with me now for awhile but I'm in constant fear of being left alone. My heart aches constantly yet people tell me how great I'm doing. What? That's ludicrous. I either think I'm dying or I'm thinking I want to die. Yes, I have the structure of a job, long time friends, and grown children but I still feel so alone. I know I have to choose to either be paralyzed by my grief or find a way to go on. Alot of the time I don't want to go on. I want my husband and our life back. How do you get used to coming home to an empty house? The pain seems to have gotten worse. People keep telling me it will get better with time. Maybe. It doesn't help me in this moment. He was my best friend and soul mate.
Comment by Deidre Couch on August 5, 2009 at 10:58am
Hello my name is Deidre and I am 22 years old. In the last 2 and a half monthes my whole world has been turned upside down. On June 10th 2009 me and my husband lost our baby girl the day we delivered. I was 7 monthes pregnant and had an ultrasound and there was no heatbeat, i delivered her naturally and she was so beautiful!! she looked just like her daddy!! Laying her to rest was the hardest part. My husband was my rock after that. No matter what he would always be there for me and he was so strong. Exactly one month later July 12th 2009 my husband was fatally injured in a motorcycle accident. My family is gone. We were so happy, I found my soulmate.I actually got to feel love and now i just feel completely lost.
Comment by Judy Smiley on July 31, 2009 at 7:11pm
My though is that working through loss is easier for women. After retirement age there are so many single women, that join together to go to events, travel etc. Males are not apt to be such a group joiner. Loss is dreadful for either gender.
 

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