Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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New Member

Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 5 Replies

Lost my husband

Started by Mary Clough. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 99 Replies

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Comment by Mary on August 22, 2010 at 4:03pm
I'm here also. I keep checking like you Randolph. I just keep telling myself, everyone must have a life but me, they are just busy with it. Seriously, I have noticed the weekends lately have been quiet. Summer is winding down, maybe there are things going on. A lot of people I know are just getting back from vacation or going. I probably won't be going on vacation myself for a long time. Where can a women go by herself. I don't have any close friends, my husband and I were always together, and I loved it that way. Guess I am paying the price for that now. but it sure makes for lonely days. Hugs to all
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on August 22, 2010 at 3:40pm
I'm here but like you said Virginia, are we letting go of the site ? Oh well, I do keep checking. Whatever will be, will be. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.
Comment by Virginia on August 22, 2010 at 3:13pm
where are we all, lol well i'll tell you i find it wierd we are not here posting, are we letting go of the site ?
Comment by TINA GREER on August 21, 2010 at 9:22pm
Joan, you are right, feeling safe is very important. I am under a lot of stress here. I spent some time today at the new place cleaning carpets. I was looking around thinking how much my husband would have loved it there, but more than that, he would have been glad that it was somewhere I could feel safe... he never liked me being here alone. I am 49 years old, and this will be the first time that I have lived alone. I stressed for a long time about moving, but now that I have made the decision, I am very at peace with it. My advice to everyone is to do what you feel in your heart is right. For some it is staying where you are, for others, like myself, moving is the right thing to do. I hope that each of us can somehow find some peace in our lives.
Comment by Joan on August 21, 2010 at 10:20am
Tina, I can identify with your feelings about moving from a home you shared with your husband, except I am seriously considering a move from his hometown, very small, to the city we came from when he retired. My daughter and two grandsons live there. Here I have only a couple good friends and many acquaintances. I feel very safe here, I'm just so lonely. Everyone around here has family in the area and the weekends are so quiet. I have felt like an outsider since I moved here, this place is very cliquish. A single woman who used to live across the street told me that the first day I moved here. My husband was the part-time city marshall for the last 8 years and everyone loved him, young and old. I took a part-time job for several years and made friends with the people I worked with, but only one still keeps in touch with me. The house I live in was his grandparents, then his parents moved in and then we moved here when his parents had to go to the care home. It was only supposed to be a couple years, but I'm still here. Jim loved living here. Now, after four and a half months since his death, I am thinking I'd be better off living closer to my daughter. I have two other children but they live in different states. I have a lot of work getting rid of all his things, many tools, etc. I haven't gotten rid of any of his things yet so don't know when I'll be able to start that process. Anyway, after all this, I know the feelings you are going through, and I pray that you will find comfort in your new home. The fact that you will feel safe living there is one of the best reasons to move. Being afraid is just one more "stress" that you don't need. Sorry this was so long. I am just having a bad, bad day and I guess I needed to get this out. Best of luck to you, you will be in my prayers, along with everybody else on this site.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on August 21, 2010 at 7:15am
Hi to all. I wanted to share this with you. Remember when we talked about the dreaded statements to us, "hows it going", "how are you" ? There is a lady who works at the grocery store and is always smiling. Her smile is not that great but never the less she is always smiling.She always asks me those dreaded questions and I give her the same response. I finally told her, why do you ask that, you KNOW whats going on. She replied, yes I know but I hope that you can answer in a positive and happier way one of these times. Now, although we cannot be able to possibly ever have a good answer, I am reminded of this saying. " Never stop smiling, for you never know the people who are looking to see your wonderful smile". Will be gone all day babysitting. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.
Comment by Virginia on August 21, 2010 at 2:08am
Leia,I'm sorry for your loss, and I asked myself that same question it dosen't seem possable now I'm going on 17 months, the days just keep passing bye, and you must belive your husband is with you he's guideing you thru each day, how else are we going on when we don't think we can or want to, hugs to you and i'll keep you in my prayers
Comment by Leia Wright on August 21, 2010 at 12:49am
Two days. In two days it will be exactly one year since Don died. How is it I have gone on? I feel so alone. I know he had to go but I miss him so much. Tonight is an exceptionally bad night. I can't bring myself to go to bed. I wouldn't sleep anyway. I'm sitting here crying.
Please God help me get through this.
Comment by TINA GREER on August 20, 2010 at 7:42pm
Bernie, I understand how you feel. Today is day 46 for me. I was doing pretty well until Wednesday evening. I cried like I did they day he died. Yesterday and today have been a little better. That is the roller coaster I have been on. I have made the decision to move. I have a very large house, and cannot take care of it alone. It has not been an easy decision by any means, and it is bitter sweet, but it is the right one for me. We have had many great memories in out home, but there is also the memory of the night he died, sitting on the end of our bed. The memories of the paramedics, sounds, heart monitor..... it is more than I can bear. I hope that as the days pass you will find some peace, as I hope I will. You will be in my thoughts.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on August 20, 2010 at 7:28pm
Hulya, I tried to resond to your message but I couldnt because it said you chose to moderate the comments, whatever that means. Anyway it wouldnt accept my comment.

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