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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

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Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Richard Gordon Jun 1. 4 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Comment by kathleen caylor on April 7, 2010 at 6:56am
O.K.you guys!This is the nurse in me,Screening for cancer and treating it are 2 different things!A routine colonoscopy will detect any abnormalities and if there are polyps they can be removed before they turn cancerous.So please consider taking care of yourself!Colon cancer is so easy to prevent!!We are not talking about treating if it is cancer,just preventing it!!
Comment by BoLynn on April 6, 2010 at 9:48pm
Yvonne, thank you for sharing that poem. It made me cry, it was so touching.

Tom, I feel exactly the way you do. If it is in God's plan to give me cancer or any other serious illness that gives me no hope, I WILL NOT take any treatments to prolong my life. I have seen the suffering those extra months did to my Bo. It was not pretty and he suffered through out the extra time. I would tell the doctors to just make me comfortable and as pain free as they possible can and just let me go.
Comment by kathleen caylor on April 6, 2010 at 5:03am
Yvonne,Thank you!I needed that,after saying I was tired of being sad,last week this weekend came along and knocked me over.Still tired of being sad,but hubby loved his jelly beans and wouldn't let me not buy candy when I suggested that.Said "think about the kids!"Well of course the kids didn't eat it,he did!!Also his b-day is April 25th.I've been dwelling on that and making myself miserable.Got to shake it off!!!Take care,and thanks again.
Comment by Yvonne on April 6, 2010 at 1:30am
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man.

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author)
©Copyright 1998-2009
Comment by BoLynn on April 5, 2010 at 1:55am
Oh poor Cookie. I so sorry, but had to laugh at the dryer story. My Easter was very nice thanks to my family. We have family visiting from the mainland and we had a wedding last night and today we gathered at my parent's beach front home for an Easter lunch. I had a very nice day. Talked about Bo for a while. My favorite thing to do. We miss him very much.
Keep warm, Tom. It's nice and warm and sunny here in Hawaii. Wish I could send your some sunshine. Yes, we all made it through another "first". Be strong, friends, we can do it!
Comment by Yvonne on April 4, 2010 at 3:04pm
Well, today is another one of those days for all of us. Another first. That one special person is missing and how I miss him. As I am preparing the Easter meal I stand all alone in the house. No one sitting at the kitchen table keeping me company, no one asking "Honey, what can I do to help?" No stuffed bunny to add to my collection. I went to the cemetery yesterday. It is such a beautiful quiet place, but I don't want him to be there. I want him with me. It just doesn't seem fair. We had finally resolved to have some us time. Everyone else had always come first in our lives. Any plans for ourselves we had always put on the back burner. The boys needed and education, his mother needed him. Well the boys got their education and I am grateful for that and very proud of them. His mother now is my responsibility alone. I don't want to do it alone. Happy Easter honey.
Comment by Morton L Bates on April 4, 2010 at 9:10am
I guess the question is why. My Jeanelle fought ovarian cancer for 10 years. She was a fighter to the end but as of 10:45 PM Wednesday March 31, 2010 she left us for eternal sleep. I loved her and I always will.
Comment by Kathy Marie Luersen on April 4, 2010 at 5:41am
I lost my partner to Cirrhosis of the liver. I miss him very much. I really did not believe he was going to die March10,2010. I think about him every minute. I miss his family in New York. now that he is gone... it won't be the same. I know that i must go on with my life but I feel as if something kicked me real hard in the gut.
Comment by BoLynn on April 3, 2010 at 6:51pm
I was a bad girl in high school. Always mopping the school's office for detention...........but worth every minute of it ;-)
Comment by Brigitte on April 2, 2010 at 5:17pm
One more week and the Celebration of Life party will be in full swing! My daughter and her family will be in Seattle tomorrow night (4/3/10) from NC. They will be very cold -- it is only 47 today and in NC it is 90. Douglas has been gone for 8 months now. My life has taken many different paths since then and I am still trying to make logical decisions -- which has never been a part of my routine! I know that Douglas is watching over me and guiding me as I struggle with questions such as: Do I retire now or later? Do I move closer to our daughter now or later? Should I go back to school for that ever eluding master's degree? HELP!!!!!!!! I am tired of tossing coins for an answer!

Actually I am pleased to read that Tom is now on the path to healing. We have all been at the beginning of the grief line and are now moving toward the back -- and that is a good thing. I absolutely love all of you on this site. You have been so encouraging, helpful, loving and funny -- "ice cream" -- our loved ones are watching all of this, shaking their head "yes" and smiling. Who would have guessed?

I am planning on lots of pictures at the party on April 10, 2010. Will post!! Happy Bunny Day to you all -- and peace on earth!

Hugs,

Brigitte
 

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