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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1366
Latest Conversations: 7 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

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Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 5 Replies

Lost my husband

Started by Mary Clough. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 99 Replies

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Comment by Connie H. on June 9, 2010 at 1:45pm
Was jarred awake in the middle of the night last night!
I had a dream so real! It was my Phill.( he left on 9/5/09) I have had him in my dreams before, but this was so different! He was alive and asking why there was "rush" written on his cremation paper!(wasn't, of course in reality). I remember freaking out and crying in his arms over the fact that all his clothes had been given to a mens homeless shelter. I also remember thinking, I could get back the things of his that I gave to the kids and gkids to remember him by( his watch, rings,etc.. I can't remember what, if anything happened after that. I know it was just a dream, but so real at the time.
I try everyday, but this pain is so deep. I miss him so much. I pray everyday for the strength to go on as I pray for all of you, also.
Comment by Virginia on June 8, 2010 at 7:53pm
good for you tom
Comment by Virginia on June 8, 2010 at 2:35pm
Dixie you are right, we could talk all day about what others who are not experincing the lost we are, what we should be doing and how long we should grieve, they have no idea what it's like until they walk in our shoes. Virginia
Comment by kathleen caylor on June 8, 2010 at 1:06pm
Mark,Regrets will eat you alive.Cherish the memories that you have,for they will sustain you.
Comment by mark on June 8, 2010 at 10:53am
Every moment of the day i think of Steven ; I now seem to be going thur a period of gulit for what we didn't get to do /or wanted to do .
Comment by Dixie Olson on June 7, 2010 at 10:11pm
Ive sat here at my computer and read through some of the memories posted here, We are all woven together by grief, each of us handles grief in differant ways For me first it was shock, I know I went to my husbands funeral, I even got up and spoke, as to what I said I couldnt tell you, I felt I
had to hold it together for the family and then the tears came in waves for days and months on end I couldnt sleep and I was so very tired. I went through the mad stage mad at God and mad at my husband for leaving me I took everything that belonged to my husband and gave it to my sons and grandkids, aside from a few small pitcures you would never know he lived here, it was to painfull to look at his things People tend to judge "us" as to where we are in our grief, our wedding vows say till death do us part, but if a person starts a new realtionship right away people tend to gossip. No one but you knows how you are feeling, and there are no rules as to how you handle your grief, or for how long. I would ask all of you who read this to tell your loved ones everyday how much you love them, in death some people have time to prepare to say there goodbye's where as others dont get that chance I want to ask whatever or whoever you believe in to bless you in your time of sorrow,with time it will get better, but you will never forget your loved ones.
Comment by Virginia on June 7, 2010 at 10:08am
Randolpf, ((( ))) to you also,I also wear my husbands wedding ring, I took it off of him in the hopsital when he started to swell, I put in on my middle finger but it kept falling off as he had bigger hands then I, tried putting it on a medical alert neckless I wear, nope so I finally put it on my ring finger inbetween my engagement ring and my wedding band thats where you can see it best. I also will never take them off on a permanat basis only when I need to for test or in the hospital. theres a funny story to the purchess of my wedding set. lol He was taught a lesson that day. Virginia
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on June 7, 2010 at 8:50am
Virginia, hug to you. I love how things get lost in cyber space. I have been not posting for a while myself. Guess, I was resting. Am feeling to "down" lately. Nothing is the same anymore nor will ever be. I hate it with a passion. All we can do is share with everyone.Here we can. I am resigned to the fact that I will never be a man or a human being again. I just go thru my zombie motions. Hugs to all.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on June 7, 2010 at 8:44am
To Tom, about how the telephone works BOTH ways. I understood what you meant about nobody calling because they "are giving us time" or "not knowing what to say". But I have to say that I cant call for the reason that "what is there to say"? I lost my wife, my pal, am alone ,sad,useless and want to die. Besides I have no one to relate to. So I guess we are back at square one about us not getting any telephone calls. The 3 hour tour on the boat The Minnow, my luck terrorists would take it over and I would probably be killed. Was sorta a nice idea though. Hugs to all.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on June 7, 2010 at 8:35am
To Steve Cain, I would like to comment on "the wedding ring". I wear my wifes wedding ring on a chain around my neck. After 13 and a half months of her death I still wear it. I have no plans to do otherwise. She had beautiful small hands,fingers and feet.I kept losing my wedding rings. Everytime we went swimming my ring would slide off into the water and be lost. After losing 3 of them I stopped wearing them.Later in our marriage of 44 years she decided to buy me a silver one and I'll be doggone if I wasn't allergic to silver and couldnt wear it. That has disappeared somehow.I will never be a man again nor much of a human being. So be it as I have no friends of my own. Her friends and family disappeared when she died. I hate my new life and will always wear her ring around my neck. Hugs to all.
 

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