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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: 16 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by kathleen caylor on May 14, 2010 at 6:30pm
Tom.Remember the alicia's of the world!This ornery old cuss isn't worth it .Just know you did your good deed and move on!
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on May 14, 2010 at 10:14am
To kathy obiedzinski and all members: Its been 13 months since my wife of 44 years died and I still have not gotten over it. She was my pal, I died when she did. I tried anti-depressors but had too many side effects from them. I wake up every night at the exact time that I had left the hospital after she died. I stay up late now so that,hopefully, I can sleep past that nightmarish timeline.Only thing I can say is, you and we are not alone in all of our sorrows and grief and aloneness. God bless us all and thank him for "allowing us to have this time together".
Comment by Peg Otley on May 14, 2010 at 10:05am
I would like to thank Steve Cain for creating this site. It has been most helpful in dealing with my loss. I read things that others write and wonder if I am the one who wrote it. So many letters in here are exactly what I am feeling and it is nice to know that it is normal afterall and I'm not just feeling sorry for myself. It is great...Thank you again. I am very happy I found it.
Peggy
Comment by Connie on May 14, 2010 at 9:54am
Kathy, I never in my life had a sleeping problem until I lost my husband. Since then I am taking an anti-depressant and a sleeping pill and although with them I am doing a little better, there are still many nights that I cannot sleep at all. I clean cabinets at 3:30 a.m. I used to do cross-stitch and now I just can't pick it up. I have read many books on grieving and what we are experiencing is not unusual. I love my children and my grandchildren but I just wait for the day that I will be with him again. You need to do what works best for you. I needed help with sleeping but you need to decide what will help you.
Comment by alaine dougherty on May 14, 2010 at 9:42am
this message is to kathy obiedkinsky who wrote about not being able to sleep. i never was a very good sleeper and since my husbands death almost ten months ago it is very sporadic. i was already on an antidepressant and and antiexty long before my husband died (believe me i fought long and hard to not be on these medications but realized my life was much better because of them) and the doctor and i have increasssed them a bit and added one so that i can sleep. even with this change it is still somtimes hard to sleep. when we are grieving our bodies need to rest as much as possible so we do not become ill. i take the sleep anyway i can get it. when i don't sleep the world is a much darker place. i exercise also and take a warm bath before bed. anything to make sleep possible. without sleep we will not even be able to grieve because we will be so overcome with fatique that all we do it cry. let me know if any of this works for you. we are all different and have to do what makes us feel the best in an otherwise awful situation.
Comment by alaine dougherty on May 14, 2010 at 9:42am
this message is to kathy obiedkinsky who wrote about not being able to sleep. i never was a very good sleeper and since my husbands death almost ten months ago it is very sporadic. i was already on an antidepressant and and antiexty long before my husband died (believe me i fought long and hard to not be on these medications but realized my life was much better because of them) and the doctor and i have increasssed them a bit and added one so that i can sleep. even with this change it is still somtimes hard to sleep. when we are grieving our bodies need to rest as much as possible so we do not become ill. i take the sleep anyway i can get it. when i don't sleep the world is a much darker place. i exercise also and take a warm bath before bed. anything to make sleep possible. without sleep we will not even be able to grieve because we will be so overcome with fatique that all we do it cry. let me know if any of this works for you. we are all different and have to do what makes us feel the best in an otherwise awful situation.
Comment by Joyce F. on May 13, 2010 at 3:47pm
Tammy,

It has been 65 days since my Donald passed away, and some days are better than other's, but what you are going through with you his family is crazy, I pray that God will continue to give you strength to deal with Kelly's passing and he will take care of those ruthless family members...prayer changes things!!!
Comment by Deb on May 13, 2010 at 3:36am
Tammy,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost the love of my life June 20, 2009. Most of the folks on this website know exactly the feelings that you are having and can relate very well. I have found that it does help just to share your thoughts here. Please feel free to write me any time. This is a very hard time for me - my guy's birthday is May 24, and the first anniversary of his passing is June 20. Take care of yourself. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless and keep you!
Comment by Tammy on May 13, 2010 at 2:28am
I just lost Kelly, he was the Love of my life~~ It has been 2wks and 5days today. I feel so very alone, his family wont bother with me except for what they think they are going to come take from me...which as they put was everything but his underwear!! How hurtful that day was. I have alot of anger built up in me at family and his family and the crew that was called on seen...they did nothing!! I am hurt, scared and angry..please help me find friends that can take me through some of this..God Bless you all. MY BABY I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND 4ever
Comment by Peg Otley on May 12, 2010 at 10:02pm
Thanks Tom,
Believe it or not I am an organ donor!!! Don't know what they'll be able to use when the time comes but I won't change it. I DO have children and family who have been wonderful through the last 5 months. I know they want to help but I feel so guilty since they have families to take care of too. I will TRY to do what I can by myself and then I will contact the hospice that helped Harry. They were wonderful. Thank you for your support. It is much appreciated. I am still spinning in circles after losing Harry in Dec and then my Dad having been in the hospital 3x since that once with a stroke on Valentine's day, the day after his 80th b-day party. He has done well and is able to walk with and w/o his walker (even tho he isn't supposed to) :) He's stubborn. That's why he is still here. Guess I should try to be more like him and I'll do ok. I know the donor wants that but it will be bittersweet IF I'm even able to get an organ. The list is long I'm sure and the matches are few.
To make matters worse, our beloved Pittsburgh Penguins just lost the series....next year! :) Ya gotta try to smile at something ha?
 

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