Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Jill Crawford on July 20, 2010 at 2:44pm
This is my first post to the site... didn't know it existed. My husband died 9 years ago in July, 2001. We were married for 24 years and he was the love of my life, then, as he is now. It does get better. There will always be a hole and an empty spot in your life, but time does help. Have to give Time, Time. I will share with you something I started doing years ago and it helped me tremendously. I write an on-going letter to my husband... no censoring, if I'm mad, I tell him about it, if I'm lonely, I tell him about it, if I'm scared, I tell him. It has definitely been cathartic for me. God's speed with your losses.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on July 20, 2010 at 12:35pm
Thanks to Steve Cain and to all from this site. I probably wont be posting anymore. I have nothing to offer. My life without LouAnn is all I dwell on. I am too filled with sadness,loneliness and emptyness. I rather not be so negative here on this site but I have no light that I can shed.Thank you for being here and listening and sharing. I just dont have any positive. Hugs to you all. Hugs are good. Hugs are real.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on July 20, 2010 at 9:33am
Kathy Obiedzinski, I just received your sympathy card and would like to thank you for personally for going out of your way to send me this card on your behalf and from the behalf of everyone on Legacy. It means a great deal to me and to my family. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.
Comment by kathleen caylor on July 20, 2010 at 6:44am
Judy,I agree.At the 5 th month mark,I attended a memorial service for a friend.At that point all my emotions came pouring out.I felt it was cathartic.My husband died suddenly,too.Our coping mechanisms are not prepared.So,it's just different than having some one die from a long term illness.Better or worse,I don't know,but the end result is the same.We have lost our support systems!Barb,good for you for seeking some help.Good Luck on your journey.
Comment by judy on July 20, 2010 at 12:02am
Barb, I really don't think almost a year is long enough for you to be coming out of this. It has been six months for me and I just reached the worst part I have encountered. One suggestion maybe you all might consider not holding it in but grieving and crying together. My daughters and I have done this and actually it helps. This is such dreadful pain but I do remember when my son died I didn't feel a bit better a year later. It was almost two years before I felt the least little bit better. I really didn't expect to live. I don't know how this is going to be because my husband was with me in my son's death. The pain is pretty much the same but the support that my husband offered was so important and it is not there now. Tim died also of a sudden heart attack. Hard to say whether it would be different with time to prepare but I think not because it would be so terrible to watch someone you love continue to suffer. No good way to loose people you love. Are you on an anti-depressant? My prayers are with you, this is truly dreadful.
Comment by Virginia on July 19, 2010 at 7:33pm
Hi everyone I'm back only to come home to no computer guess I need to take it to the shop got a old one hooked up for now. I really missed the site glad I'm able to get back on been sleeping for 2 days
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on July 19, 2010 at 3:13pm
To Barb, about the sleeping problem. Talk with you doctor about it. I'm sure he will find something for you that will help. I still have the sleeping problem myself after 17 months but I make do. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on July 19, 2010 at 3:11pm
To Connie Richards and Barbara Wasilewski, I sent the song to you. Let me know when you listen to it. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.
Comment by bc on July 19, 2010 at 2:04pm
Does anyone else have this just started about a week ago. At night I take my meds and fall asleep (that's what they are supposed to do) but 15 minutes later I wake up crying and can't stop. There goes the rest of the night until I'm completely exhausted, then I sleep. I don't know why this is happening to me, then the next day I feel tired and more "down" than I was before. I have to get help and I'd better do it pretty soon before I go over the edge! Love you all, if anyone else has this problem, please let me know what you do when it happens. There's always something new creeping up on me and its not good!
Comment by kathleen caylor on July 19, 2010 at 7:15am
Tina,You'll have time for happy later.This is your time to grieve.I'm still waiting for happy!I'm just glad that overwhelming sadness isn't all the time now.10 months into this process and it still rears its ugly head.I had one of those days yesterday.Thank goodness they're getting further apart.Let yourself mourn the loss of your love.

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