Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Tom on May 21, 2010 at 6:27am
I made a decision on what to do with all of Loni's jewelery. I went to a gold and silver buying, weekend event that came to town, to have the wedding ring I still wear, that was Loni's fathers priced.
After sitting in a chair for a half an hour waiting for my turn, I finally was able to take the ring off my finger. I've gained 30 pound since we were married so it took all that time to work it loose. As soon as I got it off, I put it back on and left. The value of the ring is it's importance it was to Loni's father, Loni having given it to me for our wedding, what it meant to Loni, and what it means to me. Money doesn't matter, I'll wear it untill I die.
Loni never had any children, and I don't either.
My nephew has a son and daughter that Loni just loved, and Loni didn't really care for kids at all.
Every time we would run into them at the store, or at family get togethers, Sidney the little girl would run up to Loni and wrap her arms around Loni and hug her. I would see Loni's eyes melt with Love for her.
So I have decided to buy a large multi drawered jewelery box to put all of Loni's jewelery in and store it to give it to Sidney. I'll wrap it up in nice wrapping paper and leave a note with it, so that it will be given to Sidney when I am gone, or before when she is old enough. Loni traveled all over the world and most of the jewelery came from the places that she went to. There's a beautiful story with each piece.
Loni and I sat in bed and got all the jewelery out onto the bed and Loni told me about all the stories one evening. That's when I saw her father's ring and told Loni if it fits me I want to have it for our wedding to wear. It fit perfectly, and it made Loni happy that I wanted it. It's a pretty gold band with a ruby and a small diamond. A lot of people have asked me about it, it's so unusal, and I always tell them that it was Loni's father's ring. I just love it, and it has the extra meaning to me.
Loni and I went to our favorite jewlery and gold shop one day, and Loni told me that I bought her a
bracelet and could I pay for it. I took a first look at it and told Loni I have good taste ! The owner of the store laughed. Then I found a watch that I thought was very pretty and called Loni over to see it. Of course Loni had already seen it, and we asked how much it was, we know the owner really good and are friends with her and she told us the price. it was way cheaper than we thought it was going to be, so we got that too. I feel so comfortable with the decision I have made about what to do with the jewelery. It's been bothering me ever since Loni passed away.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 21, 2010 at 5:37am
Peg,Hope all goes well.We're all praying for you.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 21, 2010 at 5:36am
Tom,My husband had some indian in him too.Maybe that's why the two of you didn't handle the "firewater"very well!The Irish side of me didn't do too well either.Something in the genes!
Comment by Tom on May 21, 2010 at 3:06am
My grandfather was quite a character.
He used to go to bars and pick fights with the white people just for fun. My cousins remember him and tell us of some of the stories about him. They are older than my sister and I, and taken care of my our grandfather alot of the time. One time he took off with my cousin Jackie and Jackie's older sister, my cousin Helen had to track him down and pull him out of a bar and get them back home. Indians were still not treated so well back then, and my grandfather didn't put up with it. He went looking for trouble !
Comment by BoLynn on May 21, 2010 at 1:09am
Thoughts and prayers go your way, Peg.
Comment by Peg Otley on May 20, 2010 at 10:43pm
I got SOME hope. The Dr. said that my symptoms are not ALWAYS a reason for a transplant. He did not get all the results from the other Drs. so now I have to wait a little longer (about 4 MORE WEEKS!!!) until they get ALL of the proper results and make the decision. In the meantime, I still have to go through some more of the esophageal banding in the next few weeks. 3-4 more times. Thats a lot. Thank you for your prayers. They are much appreciated and I pray for all of you daily too. Faith and hope are what i have to hang onto now.
Comment by Connie on May 20, 2010 at 6:00pm
Peg, You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you got good news from the doctor today.
Comment by Virginia on May 20, 2010 at 5:05pm
Hi Julie,and Suzzie,Welcome,I'm so sorry for you both loosing your husbands.We are all hear for each other good days and bad,so comment or just read.I lost my husband last april and most of the time it is still unbelivable. Stay with us and hopefully we can all heal together. Virginia
Comment by suzzie on May 20, 2010 at 3:56pm
Hi All. I lost my husband unexpectedly on April 21, 2010. He saw his doctor in March & all was great! I'm glad I found all of you. I look forward to sharing and hopefully helping others in need.
Comment by Julie Cleveland on May 20, 2010 at 11:57am
I am having such a bad day I miss my husband so much. I lost him suddenly two months ago and have been in a fog every since. I know this will take time but the pain is such that I feel that my heart is so broken in so many pieces it will never heal.

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