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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by brenda horne on February 6, 2010 at 7:05pm
suzanne i know how you feel believe me i lost my high school sweetheart that i was married to 32 years in feb. 2008 the 16th of this month will be two years everywhere i go it feels like i am the only single person their everyone else is couples this is at church or out to restaurants anywhere i go all my friends still have their husbands mine had to die at age 51 it is not fair i find myself depressed now i could stay in my bed all day and alot of times i do since i am now also unemployed it has not gotten much easier for me a little maybe but not alot i miss him so much and since he died two days after valentines day i hate this time of year it is the hardest we have two daughters and the oldest one 23 is expecting our first grandchild in june and we just found out it is a boy me & my husband always talked about how much fun we weould have with grandchildren and now he will not be here to enjoy him i feel guilty because i am still here sometimes i wish i were gone so i could maybe be with him i will soon be seeeing a pschologist to help me deal with my feelings i wish i had words to tell u it will soon be easier i am sorry i dont because i am not there yet dont think i ever will be remember i feel your pain
Comment by brenda horne on February 6, 2010 at 6:29pm
Jayne i am so sorry to hear about your husband i know how you feel i lost my husband of 32 years to cancer in 2008 the 16th will be 2 years it is so hard we were so close he depended on me for certain things and i have since found out how much I depended on him i miss him everyday in two years it has gotten a little easier but not alot i am so depressed that I will soon be seeing a psycologist some of the things that happened during his sickness and death i can get past alone i need someone to talk to that can help me i live in north carolina my name is Brenda i am on face book aLso so if u ever wanna talk to me directly leave a note for me at either bereaved spouses or facebook remember i really know how u feel its Hell
Comment by benita tyson on February 6, 2010 at 11:23am
I understand how you feel. My husband and I were married only 7 years when he was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer. It has been 3 1/2 months and it gets harder every day. I wanted forever but I got what God had in mind and I have to accept that even though it doesn't make it any easier. I make it through by talking to Guy every day and telling him goodnight every night. I still tell him I love him and miss him every day.
Comment by Glenda F. Camp on February 5, 2010 at 8:07pm
Jayne, I live in VA also. This snow mess is not making the grief process easy. My husband, the one true love of my life, died on November 10, 2009. We had 26 beautiful years together and were rarely apart. We worked together. We played together. I cannot imagine my life without him. If there were some comforting words to find, I would certainly share them with you. When you have lost your real soul mate, it is very difficult to go about your daily routine when everything you do and everywhere you go remind you of him. Someone suggested to me that each day I devote a certain period of time thinking about him and mourning him. Then when tempted to continue being miserable the rest of the day, make a conscious effort to stop. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. The important thing to recognize is that everyone grieves at his or her own pace. I don't know that there are any comforting words to offer other than to say that I understand what you are feeling and going through. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Let me hear from you as you make your way through this difficult journey. Glenda
Comment by Janice Jones on February 5, 2010 at 6:44pm
Jayne, I know exactly how you feel. My husband was killed in a wreck a yr. & half ago and it is still so hard. I feel as if I died that day too! Sometimes I wish I had. We were soul mates and best friends too. You will go through the motions of living for a long time. I still am. People have told me the same thing. Be happy you had that kind of love because so many never do but that doesn't make it any easier. We were supose to grown old together. I still have a hard time seeing people holding hands. We always did. I live in North Carolina and I have heard on the weather channel how bad it is up your way. I wish I could tell you that it will get better but I still have a horrible time. Coming home to an empty house, no one really worrying about me when I go out. Life is not fair and it is so hard. Everyone says there is a reason too, well it would be nice to know the reason that I am left here so lonely and suffering. I can never see another man taking my husbands place either. He was one of a kind. I will pray for you and hope you pray for me. Write me. Jan
Comment by Andrew Koehn on February 4, 2010 at 9:27pm
I have a practical comment that would help me. I can't seem to "friend" anyone on here. Anyone know how to do it...or why it doesn't work? We need friends here...ya' know?
Comment by ghall26 on February 3, 2010 at 2:11pm
On Jan. 22, 2010 I lost my husband of 28 yrs!!
OMG!! It's soooooooooooo HARD!!
we would talk and e-mail everyday--so the last 10 days have been sooooo hard!!
Comment by kathleen caylor on February 2, 2010 at 7:54am
Jan,I too lost my husband to sudden death in september 09.Every sunday I recreate in my mind what happened that day.What I could have done differently.But I have discovered there was nothing more or different to do.His fate was taken out of my hands!I miss him every minute of every day.And that will never change.I'm trying to let the good memories surround me.Sometimes that one day overshadows all the other days.But,I thank God I had him in my life!Have you gone to the top of the page at legacy.com.hit learn,there is an article on sudden death.It helped me understand why our grieving is a little different.Good luck,we're all here for the same reason.Kathy
Comment by Janice Jones on February 1, 2010 at 9:00pm
Hi Everyone, I have been a widow for a year and a half and it is still so hard. Miss him everyday. He was my best friend and soul mate. He was killed in a wreck coming home from work. Some days it is still like I just go through the motions. We were supose to grow old together. We had so many plans. Pray for me as I will everyone who have lost a loved one. Jan
Comment by Charles on January 28, 2010 at 7:11pm
Sue-Ellen
You will find people here that GET IT.All of us here have lost that love of our life.Some here lost their spouse suddenly, some like me lost my spouse from long term illness.WE all greive in our own ways.A lot of us here keep the memories of the illness and final days way to long.We all hope to find peace and joy remembering our loved one.
I was in the bed with my wife holding her as she took her final breath.Ive had a hard time getting over that because she was everything to me.
I think we all want to have the wonderful memories of them being healthy and laughing and the good days.Its difficult for a lot of us here.
Talk to us,, feel free to cry,.WE all understand here.WE have all been there.
 

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