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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1328
Latest Conversations: 7 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane on Sunday. 15 Replies

I used to love long week ends.

Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6. 2 Replies

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Comment by Peg Otley on May 21, 2010 at 11:43pm
Jennifer,
I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't let family and friends tell you what to do. Eventually you will move on but in your OWN time. They just don't understand what we are going through. They can say they can IMAGINE but they really CAN'T. Your loss is still very fresh. I lost my Harry on Dec. 13th, 2009 and I feel THAT is still fresh. I had the opportunity have him at home w/me during his illness and death. He had pancreatic cancer. We had time to talk and tell each other our thoughts. It was very hard to do that too. I still cry a lot. It is those "firsts" that get you. I was recently in the hospital and that was hard not having him there. Christmas , New years, valentines day, easter, my birthday...I''ve hurdled them all but the one that will be the hardest is the anniversary. It would have been our 37th this Oct. 20. There are a lot of very nice people on this site and they have a lot of insight. There is probably nothing you will face that someone here doesn't have good info about. I will keep you in my prayers that God will help you through this most difficult time.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on May 21, 2010 at 11:36pm
Jennifer, welcome. I get literature all the tme from the organ/tissue/eye bank of Indiana as she was an organ donor. I was informed by them that she helped over 75 people and I was so pround of that. She was of all things, my pal for 44+ years. I saw a plaque that caught my eye. It read " thank you God, for allowing us to have this time together ". The bad part is that alot of times there is only one to read it.Hugs to you.
Comment by Jennifer Preston on May 21, 2010 at 11:23pm
Hello my name is Jennifer I just came across this website tonight:My husband Pete passed away March14,2010.I didn't get to say goodbye.He had been sick awhile.I didn't want to face life,but I'm having to face life now,and it hurts.I cry alot .My family,and friends tell me I have to go on with my life,and they tell me that Pete would want me to be happy.Happy seems like something I don't know anymore,but there is one thing that brings comfort to me is I know my Pete really did love me.That does help some.We had over 20 years together,and over 16 years of marriage.
Comment by BoLynn on May 21, 2010 at 8:54pm
You live in beautiful country, Tom.
I'm not a collector. I am a gadget freak. To be exact anything Mac, I have except an iPhone.
Comment by BoLynn on May 21, 2010 at 7:24pm
Tom, what a lovely idea about Loni's jewelry. You touched my heart.

I was just watching Little House on the Prarie....again....in this episode was this poem....
Remember me with smiles and laughter
Because that's how I'll remember you all.
But if you can only remember me with tears,
Then don't remember me at all.
Comment by Connie on May 21, 2010 at 1:54pm
Hi, has anyone heard from Suzanne recently? I haven't read anything from her in a few days and I am just concerned and hoping that she is not staying off the site for any reason. Suzanne, if you are out there, please let me know.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 21, 2010 at 7:59am
Tom,when you put the jewelry in the box,put a discription with it.That your niece will know Loni's stories too.
Comment by Tom on May 21, 2010 at 6:27am
I made a decision on what to do with all of Loni's jewelery. I went to a gold and silver buying, weekend event that came to town, to have the wedding ring I still wear, that was Loni's fathers priced.
After sitting in a chair for a half an hour waiting for my turn, I finally was able to take the ring off my finger. I've gained 30 pound since we were married so it took all that time to work it loose. As soon as I got it off, I put it back on and left. The value of the ring is it's importance it was to Loni's father, Loni having given it to me for our wedding, what it meant to Loni, and what it means to me. Money doesn't matter, I'll wear it untill I die.
Loni never had any children, and I don't either.
My nephew has a son and daughter that Loni just loved, and Loni didn't really care for kids at all.
Every time we would run into them at the store, or at family get togethers, Sidney the little girl would run up to Loni and wrap her arms around Loni and hug her. I would see Loni's eyes melt with Love for her.
So I have decided to buy a large multi drawered jewelery box to put all of Loni's jewelery in and store it to give it to Sidney. I'll wrap it up in nice wrapping paper and leave a note with it, so that it will be given to Sidney when I am gone, or before when she is old enough. Loni traveled all over the world and most of the jewelery came from the places that she went to. There's a beautiful story with each piece.
Loni and I sat in bed and got all the jewelery out onto the bed and Loni told me about all the stories one evening. That's when I saw her father's ring and told Loni if it fits me I want to have it for our wedding to wear. It fit perfectly, and it made Loni happy that I wanted it. It's a pretty gold band with a ruby and a small diamond. A lot of people have asked me about it, it's so unusal, and I always tell them that it was Loni's father's ring. I just love it, and it has the extra meaning to me.
Loni and I went to our favorite jewlery and gold shop one day, and Loni told me that I bought her a
bracelet and could I pay for it. I took a first look at it and told Loni I have good taste ! The owner of the store laughed. Then I found a watch that I thought was very pretty and called Loni over to see it. Of course Loni had already seen it, and we asked how much it was, we know the owner really good and are friends with her and she told us the price. it was way cheaper than we thought it was going to be, so we got that too. I feel so comfortable with the decision I have made about what to do with the jewelery. It's been bothering me ever since Loni passed away.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 21, 2010 at 5:37am
Peg,Hope all goes well.We're all praying for you.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 21, 2010 at 5:36am
Tom,My husband had some indian in him too.Maybe that's why the two of you didn't handle the "firewater"very well!The Irish side of me didn't do too well either.Something in the genes!
 

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