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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Patricia Huett Apr 28. 3 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Comment by Kathy King Kates on October 17, 2010 at 9:37am
Debbie, under the tabs at the top of the page here you see AR, TICLES. Under that you see Special Occasions. Click on that and there's lots of great stuff to read. Good luck. These articles are about alot of different things so check them all out. Never know when you might find just the one you need. Even many others explaining the things you need to get done at this "rough" first couple of months stage. Hugs. Have a blessed day
Comment by Debbie Treadway on October 17, 2010 at 9:33am
Kathy,where did you find HOLIDAY HINTS? I would like to read it. I am already dreading the holidays so any positive ideas would be welcome.
Comment by Debbie Treadway on October 17, 2010 at 9:27am
Chrystal and Jo, I haven't reached the 2 month mark yet. It will be next
Sat. I do remember at 1 month I cried most of the day. Letting the tears come seems to help. I hope God will be with you and give you both the strength you need to make it through this day. You are both in my prayers.
Comment by Kathy King Kates on October 17, 2010 at 8:44am
I see Legacy has some really great ideas and helps on this grieving process. I see that they even change occasionally to time appropriate situations which is nice. I don't remember seeing the HOLIDAY HINTS under ARTICLES but does look like some great suggestions with these holidays getting so close. Good luck on everyone finding an idea that will help them thru this trying time.
Comment by Virginia on October 17, 2010 at 8:18am
Jo, i'm sorry for your loss also and this is a rough day for you, let the tears flow they have away of clensing the soul a bit, god bless and hugs.
Comment by Virginia on October 17, 2010 at 8:16am
Chrystal, I know things are very hard right now but you must take care of yourself because your boys need you there for them and i'm sure they are picking up on your pain and depression, and jo said, it have a dinner at home order it in if need be. then tell the boys that you as a family need to talk about how each of you are feeling, do it age appropate, tell the how you miss daddy and ask them how they are feeling about it, let them express themselves and yes let them cry with you. then ask how can WE as a family can help each other, tell them it's ok to be mad and sad and if they want to talk about daddy it's ok too, maybe they are afraid of upsetting you and maybe them fighting with each other is their way of dealing with their anger let them know how it makes you feel, you might be surprised how they react to this and i know it might rip you apart hearing their feelings but they need to be able to express themselves as you do tell them how you miss him and as a family you need to help each other. then give a bunch of hugs, because hugs are good. god bless and hugs
Comment by Kathy King Kates on October 17, 2010 at 8:10am
I am so sorry for both of you Jo & Chrystal. I can't remember exactly how 2 months felt but I do believe I was still in shock and trying to work thru things. Please both of you try some counseling or at least a local grief support group. Check with any local hospice people because they offer them and its a big help to face to face talk to others suffering loss also. We want to be here and will be but it sounds like face to face would be good for both of you. Even your local hospital might have suggestions. I do know that most schools have something for these so please check for your boys Chystal. They are acting out cus they don't know what else to do. They are feeling the "desertion" too. Feel free to vent here no matter what you want to say. Someone or all of us have felt it too and should be able to offer some suggestions.. Hugs to you both
Comment by Jo on October 17, 2010 at 7:47am
I am in the same situation;it is 2 months today.Life does seem unreal.missing him and all the things we did together,I have to do alone,or nor do at all. Do you have any kind of family support?can you talk to a counselor at you kids school?Can you take a little time durring the day just for you?That's important.Your kids are going through their own grief and the way we grieve is different for all of us.would you sit down on an evening and have dinner as uou used to and talk about how you all fee?. set his place at the table ,too,include him.Be in a safe place,like your home,not out to eat,and if you get angry ,or your kids do,then let it happen.it is all part of the healing process.You are not alone in your feelings.We are all going through the hell of loss and trying to find ways to cope.Ask for help;don't try to get though this on your own.Other peolpe don't always know what to do or how to approach your loss,so TELL them what you need.You are not over the loss and neither are your kids.It is different for each of us,but help is out there,so use it if you can.Hugs.
Comment by chrystal click on October 17, 2010 at 3:16am
It has now been 2 months since my husband died. It seems like a lifetime ago. I hate not being near him, smeling his smell, hearing his voice.Feeling his love....Loving life as we knew it...I finaly took out the boys to eat dinner at cici's pizza. This was very hard. The last time we went out was for my birthday 2 weeks before this happened.And to top it off I haven't ate dinner for 2 months. Cause this was our thing.I cooked and we all ate it, and told eachother how our day was. I feel so alone now and scared on what is going to happen. The kids seem to be getting worse. They fight constantly with each other. I don't think I can take much more... I am going to loose it...Don't get me wrong I can deal with almost anything, But not by myself....Don't know what to do!! :(
Comment by chrystal click on October 17, 2010 at 3:16am
It has now been 2 months since my husband died. It seems like a lifetime ago. I hate not being near him, smeling his smell, hearing his voice.Feeling his love....Loving life as we knew it...I finaly took out the boys to eat dinner at cici's pizza. This was very hard. The last time we went out was for my birthday 2 weeks before this happened.And to top it off I haven't ate dinner for 2 months. Cause this was our thing.I cooked and we all ate it, and told eachother how our day was. I feel so alone now and scared on what is going to happen. The kids seem to be getting worse. They fight constantly with each other. I don't think I can take much more... I am going to loose it...Don't get me wrong I can deal with almost anything, But not by myself....Don't know what to do!! :(
 

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