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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Discussion Forum

Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Patricia Huett Apr 28. 3 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Comment by Virginia on September 30, 2010 at 7:59am
Randoplh, WOW I'm so sorry you are getting bombbarded, with all the losses you have had. I hope you get to meet the friend, how nice that would be, you are in my thoughts and prayers, HUGS
Comment by Mary A White on September 30, 2010 at 7:37am
I lost my soul mate Sept 11, 2010,our marriage was 30 wonderful years long and I miss him more everyday. I wake up and he is the first thing on my mind when I try to sleep he is all I think about I have also had a comparison of divorce and death She sayed I know how you feel when I got my divorce. I just wanted to slap her know you dont know how I feel you can drive across town and talk to him I cant. You can call him on the phone and I cant It Is not even close in comparison. I know they want to make me feel better but they cant.I Have cried, so much the pain is so hard and people just dont get it. not only was he the love of my life he was my best friend
he was my everything. I feel like half of me has been taken away and I dont know what to do.I will be returning to work because I have to Im just trying to survive one day at a time. If that is possible
Comment by Mary A White on September 30, 2010 at 7:37am
I lost my soul mate Sept 11, 2010,our marriage was 30 wonderful years long and I miss him more everyday. I wake up and he is the first thing on my mind when I try to sleep he is all I think about I have also had a comparison of divorce and death She sayed I know how you feel when I got my divorce. I just wanted to slap her know you dont know how I feel you can drive across town and talk to him I cant. You can call him on the phone and I cant It Is not even close in comparison. I know they want to make me feel better but they cant.I Have cried, so much the pain is so hard and people just dont get it. not only was he the love of my life he was my best friend
he was my everything. I feel like half of me has been taken away and I dont know what to do.I will be returning to work because I have to Im just trying to survive one day at a time. If that is possible
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on September 29, 2010 at 11:30pm
Hi to all, I am sorry that I am so far behind in responindgto many of the new people. We ARE here for all.
Again I must deal with yet another death and it is so endless I am going to go insane.I have to go to a funeral in Wisc. on Monday and will have to drive alone from Indiana. I am alone anyway so it doesnt matter to me.There is a friend on here who lives an hour away from where I will be going so I am planning to meet her face to face on the way back. It will be nice to see them face to face and say hi, its ok. Its ok.Some of you know the death surrounding me and its just crushing me, there is no let up. I just want to give you all hugs for now. Hugs are good.
Comment by Kay Arcuni on September 29, 2010 at 10:29pm
Thank you all, I can't say I'm happy to have people know what I am talking about, but I am. I really think that it helps to know that we may physically be alone, mentally and spritually we have each other to help with the burdens that we are all feeling. Again thank you all so much.
Comment by Connie on September 29, 2010 at 9:43pm
Marlene, First let me say that I am so sorry for your loss. I think it is time that when people say something stupid as your friend said to you comparing your loss to her divorce, it is time to just come right out and tell them, "no, you don't know how I feel." People seem to think that they have all the answers and know how someone should handle their grief. Well, they don't. We all are handling our loss as best we can. What we don't need is people acting stupidly and saying things that are so far out. You do not know the feeling of the loss that we are living through unless you have/are living through it too. I am just so tired of hearing stupid things said by people who cannot begin to know what we feel that I have just about lost all my patience with them. I do agree with Patti Baker when she says when you have had the best, there is no second best and you don't need the rest. My husband and I were married 46 years when he passed last November. I am coming up on our 47th anniversary (and I do still consider myself married to him whether he is here with me or not, and I will always feel that way). I am dreading our anniversary coming and then the 1st anniversary of his passing. I am so tired of being strong. I don't want to be strong anymore. I am trying my best and that is all we can do right now. I will remember you in my prayers. May God Bless You.
Comment by Patti Baker on September 29, 2010 at 9:05pm
Marlene,I am sorry for your loss, my husband passed away May 5, 2009, he was my everything for 55 years, he did everything for me. He would want me to go on and believe me it was hard at first...I go to the cemetery weekly and talk to him, I talk to him when driving. I have seen his shadow twice since he died, I know that soulds weird but it was so real. He is in my dreams quite often, I will never marry again because when you havehad the best there is no second best.

As for your friend comparing a divorce to the death of your husband --THERE IS NO COMPARISION -- tell he so and that will stop her stupid remarks.
God Bless
Comment by Patti Baker on September 29, 2010 at 9:05pm
Marlene,I am sorry for your loss, my husband passed away May 5, 2009, he was my everything for 55 years, he did everything for me. He would want me to go on and believe me it was hard at first...I go to the cemetery weekly and talk to him, I talk to him when driving. I have seen his shadow twice since he died, I know that soulds weird but it was so real. He is in my dreams quite often, I will never marry again because when you havehad the best there is no second best.

As for your friend comparing a divorce to the death of your husband --THERE IS NO COMPARISION -- tell he so and that will stop her stupid remarks.
God Bless
Comment by Virginia on September 29, 2010 at 6:34pm
Debbie, hi wow my husband was disabled for 10 yrs with emphysema and you bet it was horrable, he's been gone 17 months yesterday, but when i go to the cemetery i feel empty, i feel very close to him at home he's everywhere here, hugs to all
Comment by Debbie Treadway on September 29, 2010 at 6:05pm
Marlene, I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. I lost mine on Aug 23rd 2010. He had been disabled for many years but in the last year he had COPD and suffered so much trying to just breathe every day. It is so hard seeing the one you love suffering so much, but it is also so hard to have the courage to let him go. I miss my husband so much and I do go to the cemetery and sit and talk to him. I know it doesn't make any sense but it just makes me feel closer to him. I pray that God gives each of us the strength we need to face each day one at a timel
 

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