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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane on Sunday. 15 Replies

I used to love long week ends.

Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6. 2 Replies

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Comment by BoLynn on April 15, 2010 at 9:24pm
Beautiful pictures, Tom. Loni reading to Pandy is priceless!
Comment by Dotti on April 15, 2010 at 7:05pm
Tom
I can see how torn you are, I would be too. It's only been 7 weeks for me. I beg Donnie everyday to give me a sign he is ok. I just want to know he is without pain. My heart is so broken. I feel like I have this giant hole in my chest. One day this has to get a little easier, hasnt happened yet. I want to remember the happy times we had. He was such a practical joker. I think I miss that the most. He could always make me laugh. Loni was such a beautiful woman. I can see you are very proud to be her husband. If one day you are interested in seeing someone, that person will appear just when you least expect it.
Comment by Peg Otley on April 14, 2010 at 10:09pm
Today is my birthday. The first I have had to deal with since my love of my life passed 4 months ago yesterday. I have a wonderful family but we didn't do anything.....My Harry used to take me out to dinner on my birthday. Today, I went to the hospital to visit my dad, who later was able to come home...this is another entire story. Came home and watched 3 of my 8 grandchildren so my son could go to the first playoff game between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Ottawa Senators. At 10:30p.m., my son came and took the kids home and that was my birthday. I surely did miss my Harry more than ever today. I don't know HOW I will handle what would have been our 37th anniversary in October. Why does it pain us as if we really were being stabbed in the heart? We had a wonderful life together and maybe I am being selfish but I didn't ever want it to end. Harry was never sick, never went to the doctor, and had just retired just over a year. He ahd a back ache for 5 mos. before I finally made him see a doctor and when he did, the diagnosis was stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He lived 6 more months. He passed away Dec. 13th 2009 just 5 days after his 61st birthday. He was at home with me and now he is at home with God. I miss him terribly. The hurt never stops.
Comment by Dotti on April 14, 2010 at 8:21pm
Tom
It will be 7 weeks Saturday and I cant even open his closet or dresser. In fact I cant remove his toothbrush from the holder. Donnie promised his brother his suits and clothes. I know I have to give them to him as this was Donnies wish but Im not ready. I feel so heartbroken and I really want to blame someone for the cancer that invaded his body. How unfair. It was our 38th anniversary just a week before he died. We were supposed to be on a cruise and obviously we didnt get to go. but the cruise company called me today to see how we enjoyed our cruise. Apparently no one told him we didnt go. Keep her things for as long as you need to. I am..
Dotti
Comment by kathleen caylor on April 14, 2010 at 7:20am
Tom,Bless you.I can't get the courage to do that yet.What was it yesterday?First time I actually cried myself to sleep.Was hoping I was over that.Like Lois said 2-3 years of grieving to look forward to.
Comment by BoLynn on April 13, 2010 at 11:49pm
Tom, this to shall pass. She isn't in her shoes or her clothes, she is in your heart.
Comment by Donna on April 13, 2010 at 8:29pm
it has been one year i lost my friend, my sole mate and the love of my life.I have been married to such a wonderful man for 36 years I feel so alone in life. it has been two years since I lost my mom, both my Husband and Mom were wheel chair bound and I took care of both of them. In the last five years I was hit hard with the health issue they both had. but I wish I had them back in my life. I now live with my daughter and grandkids and it still does not fill the emptyness in my heart.
Comment by kathleen caylor on April 13, 2010 at 6:21pm
"I've seen fire and I've seen rain,but I always thought I'd see you again"The song rings so true!7 months for me today.
Comment by Peg Otley on April 13, 2010 at 5:41pm
Today is 4 months since I lost the love of my life. I am just walking around in a daze. The loss is devastating. Harry had just retired the year before and was in good health until he started getting back aches and refused to get it checked. 5 months later' he was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. The 6 months he lived afterwards were lived doing as much as he could with the family....especially the grandchildren. We were going to watch them grow up together and now I'm alone. It is just devastating.
Comment by kathleen caylor on April 13, 2010 at 12:52pm
What a blessing to have your parents and sons.Maybe that's why you are so kind!!
 

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