Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Nov 22. 2 Replies

New member

Started by denise. Last reply by Marsha H Oct 25. 4 Replies

Need Advice:Grief and Chronic Fatigue

Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Kaela Roster Federle Sep 25. 27 Replies

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Comment by Patti on December 11, 2017 at 7:42am

Happy Monday everyone....hope the weekend was good for everyone.  I decided to send out Christmas cards....I didn't do it last year but I was able to get my kids when we were together for Thanksgiving to take a nice photo...all dressed up in matching PJs....we use to do that when Joe was they agreed and we did it.  I spent my weekend filling out cards.  It wasn't easy but I got through it and now I'm glad I did it....I know Joe wouldn't want me to stop doing the things that I liked doing.  This week is crazy for me....I can just hear him "slow down" enjoy the holidays.  But I've thrown myself into my job and this week I am traveling the east coast to my other branches.  I hope everyone has a peaceful week.

Comment by Sara Murphy on December 10, 2017 at 9:32pm

Steve and Chuck.....Good luck with your closing tomorrow although by the time you read this, I'm sure it'll be after the fact. 

Comment by Sara Murphy on December 10, 2017 at 9:30pm

Mary Jane....That certainly is something to think about.  There are so many people that never find the right person to spend their life with.  In fact, I know several people who never married and when I first lost Ken all I could think was how lucky they were to never have to feel this pain.  It didn't take very long though for me to realize that although they'll never feel this pain, they also never felt the true love of a soul mate.  I wouldn't trade my 30 years of love to avoid this pain.   

Comment by David Heggi on December 10, 2017 at 3:34pm

It certainly could be worse, Mary Jane.

Sometimes I just sit on my bed staring at the in-box screen hoping for someone to log on who I can connect with.  It's kind of like a night light when it's just me and a box of ashes.

I never get anything done either.  I hope this passes.

Your friend,

David H

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 10, 2017 at 12:46pm

David, I ask myself that question several times a day ..and I always come up with the same answer. There HAS to be a life better than what we have right now..otherwise why would we still be here?

gee, I have been trolling the web since I got wonder I never get anything done. An IPad can be a terrible thing...I can just sit on my A$$ watch tv, and look up useless stuff online. 

Try to have a good day. 


Comment by David Heggi on December 10, 2017 at 11:02am

Your words are encouraging, Steve.

I'll hold onto them  for dear life on this wild ride:  one day I'm a little better and can reach out to help others, and then the next day I'm a basket case.  I hope and pray that there is a life beyond this.

Thank you Steve


Comment by Mary. Jane on December 10, 2017 at 10:40am

You’re welcome, David. “

LOL. Nothing wrong with that, I luv feeling sorry for myself!

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 10, 2017 at 10:34am

That was beautiful Steve.

Beard..thanks. Who knows..maybe someday I will get up the courage to learn. I can still hear my mothers voice: “you’re to stupid to learn to drive..if a leaf flies into the car, you’ll freak out and cause an accident”

Bob, bless his heart was secretly pleased that I would never be able to get in the car and drive away when we had a fight. His mother never drove either, until she left his father later in life and learned to drive. But she hated it and DIDN,t drive for very long. 

Comment by David Heggi on December 10, 2017 at 10:29am

Thank you Mary Jane,

I was feeling sorry for myself.

Comment by Steve on December 10, 2017 at 7:49am

Dear Legacy Family,

I am always humbled by the thoughtfulness, caring and kindness we show one another on this forum, even after 3 years of posting I am always reading and taking away much more than I expected.  

Just wanted to take time out to wish everyone peace, love and calmness in the coming days as all of our friends and family prepare to celebrate the holidays.  For some of us it will pose challenges as we decide to participate or not, it depends on each of us and the decision we make we make to suite us, so there is no right or wrong decision...just follow your heart.

As the holidays grow nearer and near I look back to where I have been and to where I am today and I am completely humbled by shear starkness of where I was 3 years ago and where I am today.  We all have many Angels looking after our well being (I believe that some of them are our departed loved ones, be it spouse or family member).  No matter how darkly I saw my future, something or someone was pushing me forward, yes, kicking and resisting every step and yet I am still here and still not sure why.

So take heart dear friends when you least expect it your life will continue to change and evolve as will you, I know that even I when told this I thought, Not Me...humph!

Be kind to yourselves, take time to enjoy each new day even if it is a challenge just to get out of bed, in the long run it does pay off, I know because I am still here and I am still wondering if maybe Santa Clause really does exist....

Your friend and brother, always,

Steve Goodwin


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