Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Patricia Huett Apr 28. 3 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on September 16, 2017 at 3:17am

Steve ... loved that wise quote you put on the forum.  How true!  We should never judge a book by it's cover for we may miss many great and wonderful adventures, knowledge and good friendships.

Comment by Marsha H on September 16, 2017 at 3:16am

Deborah ...  How wonderful that you and your husband adopted that little girl and so happy she became close to you mom.  Children have a way of worming their way into your hearts.  Ernie and I tried to adopt as well, but we made the mistake of going to the adoption agency in our small town and even though our family doctor, family and friends vouched for us the adoption agency made it miserable.  We even said we would take siblings rather than see them separated.  After months of this nonsense I told them to forget it and we raised dogs!  LOL  After I said that they were all over us, but we were exhausted and sadly had enough.  Ernie's mother was a sweet and loving woman, but was shocked we were trying to adopt because as she put it, 'but they aren't blood!'  We were shocked and Ernie said, 'If you don't accept a child we adopt and love guess we won't be seeing much of you.'  I was so proud of him.  We were so fortunate to have 2 Goddaughters and one was part white/Asia and I loved them equally.  They both keep in touch with me still now that they are grown women.  I'm blessed.  Ernie and I also spent a lot of time with 3 nephews and a niece and now I'm happy to say I have a great-niece that I would love to see a little more often, but I'll take what I can get. 

Yes, it bigotry can make me angry too, but it is getting a little better thankfully.

Comment by deborah peck on September 15, 2017 at 10:42pm

Mary Jane I am sitting here laughing, cant imagine hang gliding, too funny

Comment by Mary. Jane on September 15, 2017 at 10:13pm
I agree with Deborah...Bella looks so RIGHT in that drivers she could just put it in gear, and go!
Comment by Mary. Jane on September 15, 2017 at 10:10pm
To Deborah...
I am ashamed to admit this..but when you said you and your husband had purchased a glider...I thought you were talking about a HANG glider...:)
Comment by Steve on September 15, 2017 at 9:33pm

Comment by Mary. Jane on September 15, 2017 at 7:36pm
The above is lyrics from a song from the musical South Pacific. This is about the "Race and Hatred" thing.these words were written in the 40's...
When I was growing up,my brother and I were very sheltered..couldn,t date, watch the news, or read a
news paper.i lived 20 miles from San Francisco in a working class suburb, and never even SAW a black person...but my parents NEVER EVER spoke about race. So when I was a kid, I had ONE episode with a little black girl. I was one of those kids who was afraid of the ball, wasn,t sports, Kinda when my 3rd grade class went to an amusement park, I was too scared to go on the rides..but I DID like the Fun House, full of mirrors and tall wooden slides, etc. the teacher must have known where I was, as I spent all day there..with another little girl from another school, and she was just like me!she was afraid of the other rides too. We spent the entire afternoon sliding on burlap sacks, climbing the 1000 steps it took to reach the slides...etc. for the next 17 years I never met another "negro".but my opinion was they were wonderful! Fast forward to 1966...when I was grown, and watching the marches and hatred and race riots..and became aware of everything...then I met Bob...and together we attended demonstrations, marched for piece..but the point is, I was never taught to hate. Once when I was still living at home, I spent the night in San Jose which was a far larger city than where I lived vet, with a girl I had met at summer 1963.. and we went to a dance. The group was mixed race...and when I was asked to dance with a guy, I did..and my friend told me after, that it was ok to dance with THAT particular guy, but no other black guys. I was stunned...and wanted to know why not? Because they DIDN,t dance with the black kids.
Also, I had no clue that people had black maids, who were paid a pittance...and I read anything I could find in trashy, but well researched novels relating to the history of the south, etc. so my point is, I was lucky my parents never taught me to hate.
Comment by deborah peck on September 15, 2017 at 5:10pm

Marsha, how great that your parents were so open, my parents were really good but they did not discuss race or anything else but you "knew"how they felt My husband and I adopted a little girl when she was three that is white/black and she is our love but my parents totally ignored her at first, then she became so close to my mom, but yes there is so much good in this world that makes it better but every once in a while it makes me so angry

Comment by deborah peck on September 15, 2017 at 5:04pm

too funny Steve bout Bella

Comment by Mary. Jane on September 15, 2017 at 4:31pm
Steve...I am about 4 and a half hours, 260 miles.
BTW! Thank u for the birthday greeting and song. That has always been one of my favorites...and thanks to everyone else.
I am not feeling too good today, so it's NAP TIME!

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