Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 5 hours ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Legacy.com Dec 28, 2017.
Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Nov 22, 2017.
Started by denise. Last reply by Marsha H Oct 25, 2017.
Dearest Trina ... Your post brought tears to my eyes, yet I have to tell you that even after 3 years this is part of grief (chapters like in a book.) No one will ever replace your dear Joseph anymore than someone will replace my Ernie, but now, you are actually facing reality and even though it makes you feel emotionless, empty inside or interest in life and walking through your life like a ghost those are all normal feelings and I went through it and there are still times after 6 1/2 years I can have a few days of it again. Believe it or not Trina, this is the very beginning of a turning point in your life and that's getting to know yourself all over again. I figure out the puzzle to this and it's reaching back in time to who we were before we met our loving spouses. We had emotions, found a little love, but not as deep as we had with our spouses, had fun with family and friends or coworkers. We had purpose, youth and all was well with the world. When Joseph and Ernie came into our world it was like meeting someone that we'd known all our lives and everything seemed so right and it was. The most important thing to remember hon is the fact that Joseph and Ernie with all their wisdom, love, devotion, intelligence passed that onto us and instead of suppressing what we learned we need to carry that torch for them and enrich other's lives. For now you will think there is no future for yourself, but please trust in me that there is. I found working with others to help them as well as adopting deserted dogs out to better homes made me a better person. I saw things in people that were so sad and even through the pain of losing Ernie, I found that there was so many people with many other problems almost in comparison and so I help where I can. I get in touch with nature for a good reason and that is to remind me to relax, enjoy the wonders of nature and finds some peace in my life. You are getting there Trina even though I'm sure you feel like giving up. Never give up!
Take time out alone and be honest with yourself and ask yourself what Joseph would want you to do with your life and you will get an answer and then you have to work at it. No, this Chapter in our lives is not an easy one, but it is attainable. When your time comes and you meet Joseph I'm sure he will be very proud of you.
Here is a big hug from me to you my dear friend.
Mary.Jane ... Thank you for the nice compliments and I do appreciate them. All of you treat me so well so it's very easy to feel everyone's pain or any other problems they may having with making decisions in their lives. I am helped more than you will ever know by ALL the posts on here and it keeps me glued together.
I hope and pray you are having more peaceful days.
Dear Chuck ... You are too kind to me and I do appreciate your compliments, but it was a wonderful day I met you (then Steve) even though it was unfortunate to be on a grief forum. Now I have 2 brothers who I hold dear to my heart
I have a new Sports Physiotherapist Anita who is awesome and my Sciatica is getting better all the time and yes, I'm back to talking to my plants helping them to grow in these uncertain weather patterns.
Take care my dear friend.
Dear Sandfly ... We all know how you feel on a first anniversary of a spouse's demise and yes, it's one tough day for each one of us, but does get a little better as time goes by.
I too have no children, retired and a very small immediate family I only see on/off. I know just how lonely it can be for you. As far as friends I did go through the same thing and I suppose they may feel we need to be alone on that special day thinking about our spouses.
You may at times feel you're going crazy or going to fall apart, but short of tears and memories of your spouse and the shock they are no longer with you, you will NEVER fall apart nor will you go crazy.
If you have a very close and loyal friend call them up and ask them if they would like to go for dinner or a drink so you are at least occupied. If this is not possible then what I do on Ernie's and my anniversary is buy a helium balloon and write love notes on it; take it to our favorite spot and let it loose to fly to the heavens in hopes he'll catch it. Although I can still cry doing this after over 6 years it's a good cry and I don't feel so deeply in heartache as I once did. It is true that time does calm things down, but we all know we'll never forget our dear hearts.
We're here for you Sandfly and I'm on late (live in B.C., Canada) so if you want to talk just vent and I'll answer.
Know we are all thinking of you so you're truly not alone.
Michelle, I am glad that you know what will most bring you comfort on the anniversary of the loss of your husband. I am so sorry for your loss. You will also be remain my thoughts and prayers. Debbie
Sandfly, You are approaching the anniversary with a great state of mind. I found that the days before the actual date were more difficult for me than the actual anniversary. I spent a lot of time during those days reliving events that occurred the year before. Please choose to do whatever you need to do on the actual day. If you need to grieve and further process your loss, please take the time to do it. I just experienced the second year anniversary of my husband's passing. I and opted to celebrate. I went to one of our old haunts and toasted him with a glass of wine. I then enjoyed a great seafood dinner at a newly opened seafood restaurant that he would have loved.
Please know that I will be thinking of you and sending my strength. Please update about how you choose to spend your day. Debbie
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