Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Steve G. on July 4, 2018 at 2:51pm

Dear Mary.Jane,
Your posts are so thought provoking, I love them. It just so happens that when I was a teenager my grand parents attended the Christian Science church and of course I attended Sunday school while the adults met upstairs in the main auditorium. I actually learned a lot attending Sunday school there and I also brought up a lot of questions. Fortunately, our teacher was very patient. I did not find it difficult to understand nor did I find it in competition with main stream religions. As a child of 6, while living with my father and stepmother, we attended a Methodist church. Once I moved back in with my grandparents we attended a small Baptist church until we switched over to Christian Science, only to return to the Baptist church. All religions have interest to me, while in the Navy I had friends that were Jewish, Catholic and a number of other denominations along with a couple of agnostics. We all got along just fine. As far as reincarnation, I have had a couple of episodes in my life that most folks refer to as deja vu. One such occasion happened when I was 19 in the Navy and in the city of Sanremo, Italy. When I first stepped ashore, I was overcome with a familiarity of this foreign city, the likes of which was as familiar as my home town of Jacksonville, Florida. I stayed quiet about this for a short time until one of my shipmates asked “I wonder where we can get a good local meal”, without any hesitation, I responded oh, I know a place where mostly the locals eat at. Should be up ahead and a couple of blocks this way. They all looked at me like I had just landed from a different planet. So I covered by saying that an Uncle of mine said that if I had the chance to visit Sanremo…I should check out this restaurant. That went well, until we started out with me leading them first down a little alleyway, then a road, lot of twists and turns. Getting there, everyone was quiet, once inside it turned into one of the best places to eat. 5 course meal and the cost was just 2 American dollars which included a vino from a local vineyard. The locals welcomed us with open arms and I think that was because we were in uniform we got a lot of extras. That place and experience has stuck with me my whole life. Turning down each street/alleyway brought more feelings of “I have been here before”.
Later on when I was out of the Navy I did some research on reincarnation and I still find the topic interesting. My belief is that we know so little about the universe we live in and even so much more less than what we think we know about this life on this planet called Earth. Even the Bible tells us that we do not know everything about our Eternal Father and even less about the hereafter. Each of us has to decide for ourselves what we believe or not. I think it preposterous for anyone to think that they have all the answers, after all, knowing what to expect would (for me) spoil our life here in the now. But then, what do I know…
Thank you Mary.Jane for your wondrous posts

Comment by Mary. Jane on July 4, 2018 at 1:41pm

Beard, I. Have heard of a few cases of little children claiming they were someone else, so I went and googled it..and yes, you CAN return in the same time period. I was actually surprised how many small children knew they were someone else, who had died in the same time period..say a 50 year who could speak a different language, stated that they wanted to go “home” etc. no we don,t usually remember our past lives..but I believe we remember a sense of them. I know I do have a sense of a past life...but I am feeling a little icky right now, so I will write about it in another post. Maybe. I am not sure I am ready to reveal something that I have no basis for...just a feeling. I should think before I post, and I am still feeling the effects of all the drugs I was given on Monday. Back later

Comment by Chicago Beard on July 4, 2018 at 12:38pm

Mary Jane

I do not discount reincarnation. People have been put in touch with past lives through hypnosis. I tend to think that if reincarnation is true we do not know we have all been here before or there would be a lot more people claiming it. Considering that the population of the earth keeps expanding there are plenty people giving it their first shot (unless we can be reincarnated multiple times in the same time period)..

Comment by Mary. Jane on July 4, 2018 at 11:11am

Deb, I will be thinking of you, and wish you a wonderful time with your family. I wish you love and laughter and good memories, and I know you will make new wonderful memories with your family today. And, I think Greg will still be there, as he lives forever in your heart.

Comment by Mary. Jane on July 4, 2018 at 11:03am

Hi kids. This post is really off subjects..but I am curious if any of you believe in reincarnation?  I was raised as a Christian Scientist..went to Sunday school till I was 18, but even as a little kid, I questioned the idea of Heavan and Hell. My child’s brain DIDN,t buy the idea of when everyone passes, we all go to Heavan, and fly around with wings. (I never considered a hell..I DIDN,t believe any person was bad enough to be sent to somewhere like Dante’s Inferno) So hence my child’s mind figured Heaven would be REALLY CROWDED. Therefore this whole idea DIDN,t seem plausible. When I was 20 my SIL gave me 2 books  about Edgar Cayce and I felt I had “come home”. Finally an idea made sense to me. Reincarnation. I only have a vague grasp on his teachings..but the basic idea is to be a good person in each of your lives, and if you are NOT, you must pay for your evil deeds in your current life where said deeds were committed, or return, and live a better life, and atone for bad stuff you did in your previous life. The eventual goal is to be a very good person, attain perfection, until your spirit is pure, and you go somewhere else..because you have learned all you were meant to, been a decent good person, and attained perfection. This part is a hard concept to wrap my head around..but I try..and I believe it.

Yeah, the perfection thing is still muddled in my brain, as it gets kinda murky to me..but that was like an AHA! Moment. We have so many past lives...and I really don’t understand much, but the basic concept. And, yes, Mr Cayce was a very strong believer in God, and read the Bible , taught Sunday school bla bla bla. But I also believe in ALL did he, as long as we are good and kind and basically follow the simple rule to be such. 

So, have you ever felt drawn to another faith, or culture? Does this make any sense to you? Have you ever been somewhere and KNEW you had been there before, but you had NOT? In my mind, a soul is too precious to only be on this earth for the short time we are allotted, which is why we have many different lives...

this is so hard to try to explain..and I have tried re-reading books on Edgar Cayce, but I don,t have the focus anymore.   And the GREAT THING, is you are with the same souls in each we will be with our loved ones in each I know Bob and I will be together again.

i am sorry if I have muddled this post, and I know y’all think I have gone over the edge..and maybe I have LOL They gave me ALOT of drugs and wayyy too much prep before my procedure, and I am STILL feeling the effects. I chided my DR for the 3 days I spent in the bathroom, and now I wonder why I still feel I will finally end this. There IS a part 2 to this, but I think I have rambled enough. But, it is nice to think that we will be reunited with our loved ones in our future lives. Too bad we won,t know it..or WILL we? 

Comment by deborah peck on July 4, 2018 at 10:17am

Happy 4th everyone, Hope everyone has family or friends to help them thru this holiday. This is the 2nd 4th without my Greg and am having a hard time with it, my girls are coming over for dinner and to do a few fireworks today then on Saturday we will go to my sisters for a huge party with family, we will see how it goes, it seems harder this year for some reason but last year it was only 2months since Greg passed so maybe I was still in shock, I don't know. everyone be safe and have a good day

Comment by Mary. Jane on July 3, 2018 at 7:46pm

Thank you all so much. 

Comment by Sara Murphy on July 3, 2018 at 4:02pm

YAY Mary Jane!  So happy to hear this news. 

Comment by deborah peck on July 3, 2018 at 11:20am

Mary Jane Im so glad things went well for you, I was thinking of you yesterday and saying a prayer

Comment by Marsha H on July 2, 2018 at 5:55pm

Mary Jane ...  HURRAH ...  Prayers really do work!  So happy things went well for you.


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