Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Latest Conversations: yesterday

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Diane C on December 31, 2012 at 5:00pm

Hi Helen,

Welcome to this site. It is unfortunate that we have to meet under these circumstances. I am new to this site too, and want to tell you how caring and wonderful everyone is here. I have been here for about a month. My husband passed away on Aug. 1st, after 25 years of marriage. So I feel your pain, but really have no experience to share with you. But I did want to welcome you.

Comment by Diane C on December 31, 2012 at 4:57pm

Hi Stacey,

Good to hear from you, but sorry to hear you have the flu. I hope you feel better real soon. I want to wish you and your son a Happy New Year and good luck with the new house and job. We are all cheering for you!!

Comment by Carol Kayser on December 31, 2012 at 4:44pm

Dear Marsha & Diane C.  thanks for the love and support, it is wonderful.  Today my daughter called.  She has like 500 friends on Facebook (don't all young ones, LOL).  She posted the most beautiful thing and so many of her friends have sent messages of love to her and I.  I was so touched I started to cry.


Yes Diane, I have wonderful memories that is for sure and I will be thinking of them all tonight.  I'd like to wish you a good night as we go through this evening - you too Marsha and Dixie, and Frank too.


Stacey - just got over that flu myself and it was a whopper!!! I think I caught it from my granddaughter, little monkey!  Feel better! 

Comment by stacey on December 31, 2012 at 4:38pm

hi everyone- hope everyone is handling the new year okay im not going into the new year so well i caught the flu ahhhhh i feel like i got hit by a bus i just hope my little man dont get it. but i feel better then a couple days ago.

Comment by Diane C on December 31, 2012 at 4:33pm

Happy Anniversary Carol... Your wedding day sounded absolutely beautiful. You have some wonderful memories to hold in your heart.

Comment by Diane C on December 31, 2012 at 4:28pm

I would like to thank everyone for there thoughts and prayers for us to get through this night.... It will be difficult for all of us as we all had certain rituals that we followed or what became the norm. I like some of the rest of you am spending it alone. We always went early for dinner and then came home and watched the festivities on TV. It was pretty low key. For years we went to friends homes for parties, but then we decided to just stay home and bring in the new year by ourselves. I went to the cemetery today, not to wish Rich a Happy New Year, how could I ever do that?? But just to tell him how much I really truly miss him. My wish is for ALL of you to have a peaceful, healthy, year ahead. I am so thankful to have all of you in my court.... I am so lucky that I stumbled on this website. Love to all...

Comment by Marsha H on December 31, 2012 at 4:02pm

TO MY EXTENDED FAMILY ... I wish each and everyone of you peace; good health; prayers answered in the New Year.  I will be thinking of you all as the New Year coming in. 

Bless us all!



Comment by Marsha H on December 31, 2012 at 3:49pm

Dear Jean ...  I am the same as you.  I went to my brother's for Christmas dinner and did pretty good, but once home and alone the heartache grew intense and I had a good cry.  It's all about missing our spouses and being so alone.  Yes, it makes sense that sometimes being alone is the best thing instead of the exhaustion of trying to put on a happy face for others when out. 

It is daunting to see so many with health issues and I pray that all who do find some peace and help for the New Year.  Speaking of a New Year I agree with you Jean ...  I don't think of a New Year and fear it will be a repeat of 2012.  I too only wish to be with my spouse and that seems to cloud anything for the future, but, I do feel my husband would want me to go on and so I try.  I am going to try going to church in the New Year and hopefully regain my faith once again.

I wish you a much better 2013 my friend with some peace; some joy and less tears.



Comment by Marsha H on December 31, 2012 at 3:43pm

Frank ...  I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time, but I know you will make it and manage to bring in the New Year (hopefully a much better one than last year) and that peace comes to you along with your faith.

You are so correct in saying that people in their 60's and 70's have a rough time of it because we are no longer working; we've been with our spouses for so long and counted on retirement together and suddenly they are taken away.  I am sure many people think they don't want to go on and are in a hurry to join their loved one.  I know I still struggle with this.  The health issues for many of us make it difficult on top of grieving, but for some reason we are here so here is hoping we all find strength in our faith and keep moving forward.

I will be checking in and out on Legacy and my email today and after midnight should anyone be having an extremely difficult time.

Hang in there Frank and try to enjoy your family the best you can.

Bear hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 31, 2012 at 3:37pm

Dear Carol ... I am so sorry this is the time of year for all those wonderful memories you have to come flooding back and I am was in tears reading your post.  Holidays seem to be so hard on all of us and many of us wish it was all over with so we could try to form some routine in our lives.  I will be praying for you to get through this time.

I am not amazed that so many of us are having health issues.  Some of the health issues may have always been there, but made easier when some had their spouses there while others who were caregivers seem to be falling apart since their spouse have passed and I'm one of them.  I'm starting off the New Year (like many on here) with tests and more tests and the waiting for the tests and the results of those tests is enough to send anyone over the edge. 

I'll be praying for you and all that 2013 will be much kinder to us; that we will find peace and experience some joy; make new friends and find where we fit into the future. 




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