Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1370
Latest Conversations: on Monday

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 16. 4 Replies

New Member

Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2, 2018. 5 Replies

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Comment by deborah peck on December 3, 2018 at 11:51am

Mary Jane, I am so sorry about all the chaos in your family right now. I know this will be so hard for you and your daughter and am sending many prayers your way

Comment by deborah peck on December 3, 2018 at 11:50am

That's great Sheri, we all deserve to have happiness again and I wish you much love

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 2, 2018 at 8:33pm

I think that is awesome, Sheri. 

Comment by Sara Murphy on December 2, 2018 at 4:15pm

Sheri....That's great.  I wish you much happiness!

Comment by Chicago Beard on December 2, 2018 at 2:18pm


Very happy for you! Enjoy!

Comment by Sheri Dettman on December 1, 2018 at 11:15am

Hello all, I haven't been posting much because, a miracle! I started dating someone 2 months ago and it's very serious. It has been almost 2 1/2 years since I lost Bill, so I'm due. My new guy had just received the all clear on his PSA after going through prostate cancer surgery in late August. So he's due too. At any rate, I had made peace with the fact that if I never met anyone that I wanted to share my life with, at least I had the great love of my late husband for 11 years. And now I have a new chance and it's pretty darn awesome. So don't give up if you are seeking the same! It can happen.

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 1, 2018 at 10:36am

Thank you so much. I told my daughter about your warm post, and she said thank you.This is weird, only going for a few days...I have to pack completely differently...and stick my cos,ethics in a smaller bag, etc. Rudy the wonder kitty keeps trying to get into the suitcase. I wish I could take him! Lol. My daughter is doing a bit better today, but still stunned. They will have to do an autopsy, so I won,t be there for the funeral...he was really depressed and lonely (not everyone knew that, but Melinda was his confidant...and She briefly wondered if he took his own life) I have tried to assure her, that he is out of pain now..and probably happy..... But the front door was unlocked, and he was lying about 12 feet from the door...he was sooo young! Ok, my ride arrives in 2 hours, and looking this gorgeous takes awhile, so I should go. LOL 

Laughter is the best gift God gives us..even when things seem impossible, and horrible, finding humor in your day makes the bad stuff better. Thank you, Steve..I am so happy your treatments are over and u can live to be 106! Yay! Hello to Chuck and Bella..bye.

Comment by Steve on December 1, 2018 at 8:59am

Don't be afraid Mary Jane, Bob will be with you.

Mark has been with me each day of my treatments, which by the way my last one is Monday.  Even in a big city like Dallas just driving there was a 45 min drive each way.   Some weeks the rain was coming down fast and winds were gusty.  But, we made it ( Chuck and I), we also met a lot of nice people each of them with their own illness.

I will actually miss seeing them all, each day humbled me and each day everyone would smile and just nod or say hello.

Go be with your daughter, focus on her, everything else will fall into place.

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 1, 2018 at 8:36am

THankyou. That was a lovely post. Now I have another fear...I am flying out in 6 hours, and the horrible Oklahoma wind is 30 miles an send a few prayers that my plane doesn,t crash.

About Kevin’s death..he had been dead about 3 days when they found him..which, ironically was the same time Melinda was listening to her dads phone messages after almost 3 years. I don,t think that was a coincidence. Kevin could have been with her at that time. I know that sounds nuts, but I have had too many strange things happen. Also, last night, she went to shut his office door last night after the few people left in the building were done crying, etc..and the SUN was streaming through the window..a single stream of sun...and the weird the company had just put a shade in his window..that is the business...they make and sell window shades..but after the shade was installed 2 days ago,.they realized that was the only example of that brand new shade, so the took it down to photograph, and the window was unshaded. Otherwise, there would have been no sunlight. This was NOT a coincidence.

Ok, kids, I am back to scared..imdon,t want to die in an airplane today...if u have ever been in Oklahoma, u will know how bad the winds can get. There were tornadoes last night..lots of damage in different parts of the state..lots of destruction...I know planes fly outndaily, but I don,t want to die..I have a daughter who needs me. And I need her...and a kitty who would b homeless if I die.

Comment by Steve on December 1, 2018 at 7:34am

Mary Jane,

Your daughter Melinda will be in all of our prayers, as well as you dear sister.  None of us are ever ready for what life can through at us, and yet, we all find our way to where we need to be, and especially the people that come into our life.

“There will always be a reason why you meet people.  Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs”.

Angel Flonis Harefa

Love and hugs for a safe trip.


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