Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 5 Replies

Lost my husband

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Started by denise. Last reply by Jeanette McSherry Aug 31. 6 Replies

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Comment by Faith J. on June 27, 2012 at 9:56am
Thx Janice. I'll check it out.
Comment by janice shannon on June 27, 2012 at 9:17am

Meditate on Psalms 116: v 15, in doing so you will see that there is nothing that a person can do to prevent the calling of those we love to come home.  My sister lost her husband 3 years ago and I am on a trip to visit my other sister the 3 of us are together and Vicki my older sister does daily scripture and she showed me this today then I came to read the blogs and find Faith's question and it seemed like it was an answer right from God.  Prayers be with all of you,  Janice

Comment by Faith J. on June 27, 2012 at 8:56am

I'm the place now of wondering if I could have done something to help Paul if I'd just stayed home. Would I have heard him fall, could I have gotten thee rescue sqad there sooner. Could I have started cpr. But the fact remains that he's gone & my life is forever changed! The only thing I'm looking 4ward to is my move to Vegas!

Comment by janice shannon on June 26, 2012 at 10:28pm

Dear friends I found out today that grief can settle in your lungs. Strawberries are very good for helping you clear the toxins that build up in your body when you are grieving.  Warning don't eat to many tho as this really does work.  I have been having a really bad time with my lung problems and then I injured my back so I have not been at the computer that much.  Praying for each of you every night that God will give the strength you need and the peace that passes understanding.  Janice

Comment by Julie Stearns on June 26, 2012 at 9:58pm

Jane first of all breath!!! It is not your fault. There are no shouda, coulda woulda's it is what it is.  If he were meant to go to the dr he would have and it he was meant to still be here, he would be,  God does not punish, he is a kind and loving God and it was simply your husbands time, noting more.  Sweetie, I say this from experience, my middle name is guilt but I gave it over to God because I loved my husband and did everything I could he was a proud man and wouldn't go to dr until he had insurance.  God simply does not make mistakes and everything happens for a reason.  Good and bad  sending you hugs and please remember to breath

Comment by Karen Ball on June 26, 2012 at 9:45pm

Jane, for right now just concentrate on you. As a friend told me on the night Todd died, one breath at a time. And don't forget to hold close to those who love you, they can at the very least give you a shoulder to cry on.

Julie, Thank you. I know that what I feel now is dulled by shock, I just hope that by the time the shock wears away I will have built up the strength needed to deal with the pain. The last 6 or so months of my life have been exhausting and my nerves are frayed raw. I'm going to keep coming here and keep reading and posting to get some help from the people who have gone before. If you have any hints on how to make the exhaustion go away I'm all ears.

Comment by Jacky on June 26, 2012 at 9:43pm

Jane, God doesnt punish His children. That is a lie from the enemy, from the pits of hell. God loves you. Cry out to Him, I am so sorry you are going through this. The Bible teaches us, nothing happens without God allowing it. So you can not blame yourself for your husband dying, unless you physically murdered him, and took his life! Forgive me for being so blunt, but You did not cause him to die. You dont have that power, the Drs may not have been able to do anymore for him. You are being too hard on yourself.

I dont have answers, I dont know what happened, but I know without a doubt, you didnt cause him to die. Only God knows...ask Him to reveal it to you, The Word says, if any of us lacks wisdom ask for it, and He will give it to you...I too will pray for you. Cry it all out to God, ask and keep on asking till you get your answer. He hears you,  Blessings

Comment by Julie Stearns on June 26, 2012 at 9:33pm

Karen, we will be here for you when the flood gates open, I think the first 4 months you are in total shock and then the pain is absolutely cutting to the core.  For me that is how it was at least and now I am slowly moving toward my guys. Last night I was reading emails in bet and I know one o fthem were with me.  Always.....hugs and I am so sorry to hear about your husband.

Comment by janeo on June 26, 2012 at 9:16pm
Karen, I'm so sorry for your lost. I thank you for those encoraging words I wish there was something I can say to you but the way I feel now i know I would be lying now
Comment by Karen Ball on June 26, 2012 at 7:37pm

Hello Jane, I know that it's hard to not blame yourself, but trust me it wasn't your fault. This is not a punishment, it is a terrible tragedy. I had to sit there and watch my husband take his last breath knowing that I was the one who decided to take him off life support. I couldn't stand the idea of him suffering any longer. Now I'm the one in constant pain. But I know that he's better off now. I don't know how long it takes to ease since I'm a newbie (my husband died 11 days ago. But I do trust that one day I'll be able to remember Todd with a bittersweet sadness and not this all encompassing pain. Hold on and keep in touch with your friends and family and by all means keep praying. My prayers are with you.


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