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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1366
Latest Conversations: 14 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

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Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 5 Replies

Lost my husband

Started by Mary Clough. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2. 99 Replies

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Comment by nancy on July 10, 2012 at 2:51pm

Faith, I'm with you. It took me months to get to that point tho. I got sick and tired of being depressed and sad and stuck in that miserable pit. John would be so mad at me. My faith pulled me out of that pit. Just reminding myself everyday that I will be with him again one day when it's time helps. Life goes by soo fast. Hugs and prayers. Peace

Comment by janeo on July 10, 2012 at 2:22pm
Jannice, I was 48 when Richie passed and social security told me I wasn't entitled to widow benefits until I was 60 years old. My husband was on disability So check it out and make sure they take their time and don't care. I had to get my town supervisor Steve Israel to get answers.
Comment by Faith J. on July 10, 2012 at 12:28pm

I refuse to allow grief to totally control me & my life. #1-God wouldn't like it. #2-Paul would absolutely hate it. #3-It wouldn't be good for ME.

So I'm going to do like the preacher said on Sunday, & subdue the grief through my faith in God & the purpose He has for me.

Comment by Julie Larsen on July 10, 2012 at 11:52am

Janice:

I'm afraid grief is my constant companion - it's over and above everything else.

 

Wishing you peace.    Julie

Comment by janice shannon on July 10, 2012 at 11:37am

Dear Julie, thank you for your prayers,  they are my mainstay for now. I know that you are new on this ugley journey as well and believe me each night I lift this group up in prayer for strength and peace.  I don't know that having a memorial whenever we do it is actually going to change anything for me tho.  My son is only 28yrs old and so he thinks like a 28yr old.  I know with the new baby coming we are all going to be unbelievably busy.  Also social security has not sent me one penny and I am unemployed since Bo passed away, we were living and I was working in Las Vegas as a hotel operator, I had to quit my job simply because I knew I could not concentrate enough to do it.  I worked nights alone and had allot of responsibilites to staff and guests.  I had to clean out everything and move to Dallas to live with my son.  Las Vegas downtown at night is a pretty rowdy place and my family didn't want me to stay out there.  I have managed only to pay for the cremation and I do have my husbands remain with me now.  Both of my sisters live close to Dallas and i get to spend time with them but other than that I feel pretty much out of place.  But I have been looking at internet sites that help me with the planning of the memorial.  I have a very nice eulogy written and a beautifl urn to picked out to purchase so i still have allot to do.  If the grief would just leave my body alone i would be grateful, but it seems that is not possible.  I know it will all come together one day because I trust in the Lord with all my heart and don't try to understand things that I can't  i try to let go and let God.  He is a wonderful comforter it times of sorrow.   janice

Comment by Julie Larsen on July 10, 2012 at 11:08am

Janice: I would think it would be so hard for you to wait until May for the memorial service. Did you get to have any kind of service at all? Perhaps you could do something small and meaningful now and then a special one  for the one year mark.

This is none of my business and I don't know your family situation with travel and all, but it can't be helping you at all with your grieving.It is still so raw for both of us (13 weeks for me). Just know that I am prayng for you.  Julie

Comment by Faith J. on July 10, 2012 at 9:35am

Nights are the worst for me, especially if I've had a busy day. By the time evening comes & the night, I realize all over again that I can't talk to Paul about the day or tell him something funny that happened. That makes me miss him all over again.

Comment by janice shannon on July 10, 2012 at 9:14am

I know what you mean about mornings, they are the worst for me as well.  I miss my husband so very much when I wake up.  He was retired and I still worked but he did everything for me as I probably could be on disability but I am not.  I do feel good about the fact that I told him every day how much I appreciated every thing he did for me in trying to make my life a little easier.  I have been without him for 2 months now, I know he isn't coming back but I can stop wanting him back.  The grief is wreaking havoc on my body tho,  I have got to figure out away to tame it down.  My son and daughter in law are expecting there first child in September so my son wants to wait until next May to have the memorial service so we can make it really nice but I feel like this unfinished business may be weighing on me.  I don't know. 

Comment by Julie Larsen on July 10, 2012 at 8:58am

Jean: I so get it - don't care if I wake up or not either.

Mornings are the worst for me. I am unhappy that I do wake up. Then it hits me that Charlie is not here and never will be. It is like losing him all over again.  Julie

Comment by Mac on July 10, 2012 at 7:35am

I had to find a mitigation person on my own. I did not even know what radon was: people would not call me back and some used the NEHA numbers that were not on the list if my hubby was here and it had to be done he would have know where to look and had it taken care of without any problem now I sign my home away tomorrow I keep looking around the house and remember the day we bought it , or had it done I get this guilty feeling that I am desserting him. but I keep telling myself that he is not coming back I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not. we don't realize at the time how much they did for us. I still just don't care if I don't wake up or not. I just want my Babe back. Jean 

 

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