Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Comment by Sara Murphy on December 26, 2017 at 11:38am

Trina....I'm sorry for the added pain of you wedding anniversary in addition to the Christmas holiday.  I think maybe in a way, it was Joseph singing those Christmas carols to you.  He guided you to that area in town on that day and sang to you using another's voice. 

Wishing you a peaceful New Year.


Comment by Sara Murphy on December 26, 2017 at 11:32am

Mary Jane....There's nothing crazy about your Christmas Eve tradition.  I may do that for New Year's Eve if the weather isn't too bad.

I hope everyone had a tolerable day yesterday.  There are so many aspects that are hard that some people may not realize.  Example, I didn't send out Christmas cards this year because I can't bear to not sign Ken's name.  Maybe next year.  And I'm back at work today and someone new to the company asked if Santa was good to me.  I didn't know how to answer.  She doesn't know my husband passed away and I still wear my wedding ring so the obvious assumption to her would be that my husband is Santa.  She inadvertently put a knife through my heart.  Next we all have to get through New Year's Eve and then I have the 2 year anniversary of Ken's passing.  Maybe after that, I can scroll through Facebook again without being inundated with happy couple photos.

Peace to everyone.


Comment by Trina Mamoon on December 26, 2017 at 7:13am

A belated Merry Christmas to all on this site. Hope that Christmas was at least bearable and everyone had some respite from our usual state of sadness.

Mary Jane, your secret Christmas Eve ritual is so touching, thanks for sharing it with us. How beautiful--listening to the night and praying for kindness and gratitude. Our present world is fast becoming a place where people are devoid of kindness and are uncaring. It's a "me, me" world. So much intolerance and hatred all around. So thank you again for your prayer of peace for us.

I haven't come to this site since early December. In part it's because Joseph who self identified as a Judeo-Christian LOVED Christmas carols and would regale me from around Thanksgiving through all of December with carols, he would sing while playing on the piano. In early December, I once ventured out to a public area in town where they have free street performances, and suddenly when a choir started to sing Christmas carols I was torn between running away and staying back to listen. I stayed and listened; it was both uplifting and deeply painful. December is especially difficult as 21st December, or Winter Solstice, is our wedding anniversary; it would have been our 18th anniversary.

Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year 2018 everyone!

Comment by Steve G. on December 25, 2017 at 7:51am

Dear Mary Jane,

Reading your post brought up those feelings for me just now, your elegant way of describing that special moment was very special.  God bless you dear sister, you are an Angel,

Thank you

Comment by Marsha H on December 25, 2017 at 5:42am

Even though many of you may be of different religious backgrounds I found this song thanks to a dear friend who sent it to me of how all of us feel grieving for our loved one that has passed away.  This father's daughter passed away and with the help of others he put it to music and I hope it gives you all some peace to get you through the holidays.

Comment by Marsha H on December 25, 2017 at 5:31am

Mary Jane ...  That was such a beautiful post.  I do understand what you are saying and I too think of small children eagerly waiting for Santa.  Even though we are adults there is some magic in the night air, Christmas lights on some houses and the smell of possible snow.  It does bring us some peace.  I hope all of us find peace and joy in our lives and little of the magic children have.  I still make snow angels in the snow when we get it so no, you're not nutty, I am!  LOL

Comment by Marsha H on December 25, 2017 at 5:26am

Merry Christmas my dear friends and I hope that you get some peace from this holiday.  I am aware it's a tough one for all of you, but just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of all of you and praying for better days ahead.



Comment by David Heggi on December 24, 2017 at 10:47pm

God bless you, Christine.

With prayer and hope we can make it.

Comment by David Heggi on December 24, 2017 at 10:45pm

no one is laughing, Mary Jane.

What a touching beautiful prayer to all that is good

Comment by Christine Blaire on December 24, 2017 at 10:29pm

Mary Jane that was beautiful and I guess I'm some kind of nut's lightly snowing here and I just grabbed a shawl and went outside and listened and said a prayer for my Marshall and for everyone of us to be able to find some kind of peace. This is the worst Christmas ever and you helped a bit. Thank you dear. I hope all who read your post will do the same. I cried but I was able to take a deep breath and slow my breathing. And to quote a special little boy.  " God bless us everyone"


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