Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Comment by Mary on August 8, 2010 at 1:43pm
Good for you Virginia. I sure they will be a comfort to you. Hugs
Comment by Virginia on August 8, 2010 at 12:51pm
Hi Everyone,I would like to tell you what I did this morning, I went to church, I have been thinking about it for a long time even before Mike passed, we even talk about going to the church in our neighborhood if you can call it that as I live in a ruale (spelling ) area,anyway I was sitting here this morning thinking about it while I was on this site and with only 20 minutes before the service was to start I decided to go. I was just a few minutes late and when I got out of the car they were signing amazing grace, and it was sad and uplifting at the same time.I went to this church as a pre teen, raised a crib catholic, but mom and her sisters decided to change and this is where they went, a typical southern baptist church, with the old gospel hymes,what memories it brought back, but I truely enjoyed it and am going back tonight they are having a guest preacher. I am hoping getting back will help me in this greiving process we are going thru, When Mike and I got together neither of us were practing our religon and was of the mindset that we could pray anywhere and anytime,he was also brought up in a methodist church and boy he knew his bible,so I will do the best I can and pray things get easier for us all and I did say a prayer for our group here at legacy so keep me in your prayers if you pray. Hopefully it will comfort and guide us all,god bless
Comment by pippa on August 8, 2010 at 12:14pm
Hi David,
Liza ( the brunette, my significant other ) died 77 days ago of ovarian cancer. Every day is a struggle for me to reassemble my matter and reinvent myself to be the person who now lives life without Liza by my side.
It is right that you are grieving your wife. There is nothing more real, more visceral than your loss right now. It is a great thing that you had three good days-and not surprising that you would fall backwards into a quagmire of seems to be very much the way it goes for those of us who are left behind. If you can right now, don't worry about your inability to help other people. Rather, let other people care for you. You need it and your friends and family probably need to be able to give you that gift.
My life right now is like being on the monkey bars, struggling to go hand over hand , body dangling over a yawning chasm. We just have to keep willing ourselves to make that effort to keep going on. Hopefully, eventually, it will be more than muscle memory that keeps us going and the desire to be a part of the world returns. For now, I just keep going through the motions.
best of luck. Know that you are not alone.
Comment by Janice Jones on August 8, 2010 at 12:08pm
David, my husband (David) died in a car wreck 21/2 years ago and it is still painful. I have a grief doctor that I see and she has helped me so much. I still have bad days and nights but they do seem to be farther apart. We will never stop missing them but hopefully learn to cope. I know my David would not want me to greive so much. He loved life and I am trying to find some happiness. He will always be with me and I am trying to draw on his energy to move forward. Losing your soul-mate is the hardest thing to get through. Thought we would always be together and really thought that I would go first. He was such a strong man and was my whole life. A big part of me died on that day as I am sure did you and a lot of the others on here. My prayers go out to everyone and keep me in your prayers too. I still have a long way to go. Trying to figure out why God left me here. I know he has a plan and I pray that I will be able to reconize it. Love to all of you. Jan
Comment by Patricia L. Herrera on August 8, 2010 at 11:24am
Hello David,
Don't give up, your life will get better. Your wife wouldn't want you to be hurting like you are. I lost my husband on March 22, 2010. I don't have all the answers because I am hurting too but I have joined a support group through my local Hospice Organization and it is helping so much. You will be experiencing these feelings for a long time. We just won't heal overnight. I don't have all the answers myself but since going to Hospice I have been feeling much better and have been able to get through many days. Losing your spouse unexpectedly is such a shock yet I knew for five years that my husbands days were numbered and yet it was still a shock when he did leave because we hold onto hope with our love for one another. Try to get involved with a support group or your Church. Keep yourself busy as much as possible. Better days will come to you, it just doesn't feel that way right now. Also, this support group on Legacy will help get you through your rough days, please keep in touch with us whenever you feel lost and lonely. Until the next time, I will add you to my prayers and thoughts. God bless and Hugs to you.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on August 8, 2010 at 11:00am
To David, am so sorry for your loss. Its been over 16 months since my wife died suddenly and I still cant go forward much without going backwards or even just standing still like a zombie with no purpose. I cant give you any words of comfort except this. We all share with you and we all do understand. The good and the bad. Hopefully we can hope to inspire someone or be inspired ourselves.At least,we can vent our situations to people who truly understand.
Comment by Virginia on August 8, 2010 at 8:32am
i don't understand the double posting whats up with this lol,
Comment by Virginia on August 8, 2010 at 8:30am
David,I'm glad you had a few good days and yes sadley the bad ones do come back but like you said at least you had a couple good one god bless, and wishing you and everyone more good days.
Comment by Virginia on August 8, 2010 at 8:30am
David,I'm glad you had a few good days and yes sadley the bad ones do come back but like you said at least you had a couple good one god bless, and wishing you and everyone more good days.
Comment by Virginia on August 8, 2010 at 8:27am
Hi everyone, i hope you all will have a good day today, so far so good here except having to try and chace 2 big hawks try to steel my kittens outside they are walking in the yard and i was out there in my gown shoeing then away lol the mommy cat is ferce she jumps right up after the hawks but she keeps them hid and thankfully they listen to her and life goes on, have a blessed day.

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