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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

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Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Richard Gordon Jun 1. 4 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on June 5, 2010 at 1:30pm
Virgina, I got an e-mail saying that you commented on a message that I had sent but I cant find your message that you had sent. Can you resend it ? Thanks.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on June 5, 2010 at 1:19pm
Connie, thank you for the hug. I am sorry for your pain and everyone else's pain. At least we can relate here on this site. I nothing to comfort anybody except, a hug and that we all are going thru our various stages of our NEW life. We do have an ear to hear each others stories and share our experiences.
Comment by Connie on June 4, 2010 at 11:07pm
Randolph, Thanks for the hugs. They sure are nice. My husband and I were married for 46 years. Our anniversary was October 16th and he passed on November 9th. I love him so very much and my heart is breaking. Today is an exceptionally bad day and I don't know why this day is worse than others. I have been crying all day. My daughter and I met a little while ago at a diner near our homes just for coffee. I needed to get out of this house. Sometimes I think I am going mad. My husband, too, was my sweetheart, my companion, and my very best friend in the whole world. I feel like someone just tore my heart out of my body. I don't know what to do or how to do it. I am trying to keep busy but my doctor wants me to sit with my legs elevated because of a serious arthritic problem that I have with my foot. I cannot sit. I just feel like I have to keep moving. Randolph, I feel your pain because I have the same pain for my sweetheart. I was only 18 when we married and I loved him then and love him even more now. It is so unfair to have him taken away from me.
Randolph, consider yourself hugged.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on June 4, 2010 at 10:03pm
Hi to all, just wanted to let you know that I am not coping well after 13 months and 18 days since my wife died. With her, my pal, for 44 years has been a crushing blow to be without her and doing everything together with her. I know that we all share the same grief and have to somehow come to terms with it. Frankly, I dont know how. Am so lonely and sad but I know I can share this with all of you. Hugs to everyone because hugs are nice.
Comment by Peg Otley on June 4, 2010 at 12:01pm
Dear Bill,
Although it is almost 6 mos. since I lost my love of my life after 39 yrs. together, I KNOW i am going to feel the same as I do now when the anniversary approaches also. That will be Dec. 13. Christmas will always have a dark cloud over it for me. I WISH I had the words to make your pain go away but he truth is, it probably will never go away. All I can suggest is to reflect on the good times on that day and not the details of his passing. I know....easier said than done. what I'm suggesting is maybe when you have a sad moment, TRY to overshadow it with the thought of his smile or something funny that happened and MOST important don't spend the day alone. That will make it worse. That gives you too much time to sit and think. You know, Bill I have NO idea if this will work. I may be just sitting here blowing smoke but THAT is what I TRY to do when I get in this mode. Father's day is coming and that's going to be tough, more for my children as I still am lucky enough to have my 80 yr. old Dad even after several close calls. I WILL definitely miss my beloved Harry that day as I do every day but I'm going to try this technique and see if it helps on that day. I will pray that you are able to get through this with minimal pain.
Comment by Bill Geddings on June 4, 2010 at 10:47am
thank you for all your prayers and support. I have really been having a hard time as his anniversary date of his passing grows nearer which is on July 21st. It still feels as if it was yesterday. I really miss my best friend and partner. My whole world was turned upside down when he passed and I'm still trying to start over with a new life! Any words of encouragement or wisdom, please let me know! Take care and to all much love!
Bill
Comment by Peg Otley on June 4, 2010 at 12:13am
I must have been blind for a while. I see Tom's comment now. I'm glad. Started getting worried for a minute there.
Comment by Connie on June 3, 2010 at 10:04pm
Helen, My heart goes out to you for making that very difficult decision. I was saved from that by the Grace of God. My daughters and I had an appointment on Monday, 11/9/09, at 9:30 a.m. with my husband's doctors to discuss stopping treatment because he was not responding to anything they were doing. At 6:00 a.m. that morning, I got a call from his nurse that suddenly his heart rate started dropping and at that point was at 34. My daughter and I rushed to the hospital which is only 10 minutes from my home and when we got there he had already passed. Had I had to go through with that meeting, I don't know what I would have done. I thank my husband and God for not making me make the decision. He chose to go in his own time and when he was ready and he knew that I could not bear to make that decision even though I know it would have been the kindest thing to do for my husband. I feel so very bad for you because I know that it would have been so very difficult for me as I am sure it was for you. You have to know in your heart that even though it is so difficult, that your husband would probably have wanted it that way. Helen, don't beat your self up over it. You have to believe that you did the right thing. May God Bless You and I will keep you in my prayers.
Comment by Dotti on June 3, 2010 at 9:17pm
My God Pam Im right there with you. Im so depressed I just want to die just so I can be with my Donnie. My heart has this giant hole in it. I leave work and barely get to another parking lot so I can cry for awhile. This is awful. I miss him so much.. It has also been 3 months for me. I thought as time went by things would get easier but that is not the case. I feel like there is no use for living anymore. I have to go and get help I cant do this on my own... Im sorry I know my thoughts are all over the place. My kids are here for me most of the time but its not the same..nothing is the same anymore.. Please pray for me
Comment by Pam on June 3, 2010 at 8:42pm
I'm new to this site. Saturday will be 3 months that I lost my husband Bob. I think of him every second of the day and miss him so much it hurts. I can only hope in time it will get better. I wonder if I will ever be the same again. I don't know what to do with myself. If I wasn't at work I was with Bob. I'm so lost. I need someone to give me hope that in time it will be better.
 

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