Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

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Comment by Linda O'Connor on August 12, 2010 at 1:50pm
Mary, Thanks for the kind words and I did like reading your "long post" - it was worth it and a good read for everyone.
Tom, You can't believe Loni would forget you; you were her life as she was yours. She will always be in your heart. That reminds me of a beautiful poem I for on a plaque and had to buy; it goes like this: "Beloved husband, althought you cannot be here with me, we truly aren't apart; until the final breath I take you'll be living in my heart." I put that poem with a picture of my Kevin in the paper as a memorial on anniv of his death. Hang in there!!
Comment by Virginia on August 12, 2010 at 8:45am
Thanks Barb and Mary it was very nice god bless and hugs
Comment by Virginia on August 12, 2010 at 8:43am
Tom, you have to believe loni does remember you and is watching over you, she has given you the strength to come this far and will continue to, she is guiding you and comforting you as best she can but we all have to believe that our loved ones are watching over us and will be there to meet us when we cross over this is the only thing we have and to do our best to keep their memory alive and to do the best we can for what time we have left. Tom you and others here have helped me in this process and for that I thank you, and the othere you know who you are. this life we are left with is fact not fiction as much as we would like to wake up and it all have been a bad dream it is reality and yes it sucks big time but if we believe our loved ones are watching over us and will be there to meet us it will get us thru, god bless and hugs to you with a big bowl of ice cream lol
Comment by Virginia on August 12, 2010 at 7:51am
off to the races and casino lol hope everyone has a blessed day hugs hugs are good lol
Comment by Mary on August 11, 2010 at 9:44pm
I didn't mean to cut your post off by posting this long forwarded e-mail, but I already had it ready to post.
It is so hard to come home, whether from work or anywhere to an empty house.I am sure your yard looks nice, but don't over do it in all of that heat. My husband has only been gone for 6 months. I miss him like crazy. The people on this site are the best in the world. I honestly feel like they are my friends, tho' we have never met. They have helped me, like others can, who haven't lost their spouse. They just do not understand what we are going through. I know for me, it has been 6 months, yet it feels like yesterday, yet it feels like forever. The time just all blends in together. Hang in here with us. Hugs to you.
Comment by Mary on August 11, 2010 at 9:35pm
Here is the complete e-mail sent to all of us frrom Barb.

This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen and is so true:
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, ' This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.

The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them." I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgment Section, my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed." How is it that there is no work going on here?I asked.

"So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments"

"How does one acknowledge God's blessings? I asked...

"Simple, the angel answered. Just say, "Thank you, Lord.

"What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked.

"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy. "

"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."

"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day. "

"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... You are ahead of 700 million people in the world."

"If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world."

"If your parents are still alive and still married are very rare."

"If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm; you're unique to all those in doubt and despair......."

Ok, what now? How can I start?

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you care to, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are

ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.
"Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom to share it.

If you have read this far, and are thankful for all that you have been blessed with, how can you not send it on??? ? I thank God for everything, especially all my family and friends.
Comment by Linda O'Connor on August 11, 2010 at 9:21pm
I feel so alone, like I do so any nights when I get ready for bed without my Kevin. Cut back grass when I got home for work with temp in high 80's. Had to with short legged Bassets! I miss my guy so much, even if 1 1/2 yrs. I still try to keep up with yard since it meant so much to him - to have the best in the street. It hurts so much, but it helps to read about all of you who go through the same thing. No one else understands why I am so down after this long, but to me, it seems like yesterday. Does anyone else feel that way??
Comment by TINA GREER on August 11, 2010 at 7:57pm
Leia, thank you for the words of encouragement. I am one who is just beginning this horrible journey. I have been on a roller coaster. Today I only shed a few tears. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I have spent tremendous amount of time with family in the past 5 weeks. I am happy to be with them, and it helps keep my busy, but when someone talks about Larry, then I get very emotional. It is nice to know that someday, somehow I may get through this.
Comment by Leia Wright on August 11, 2010 at 3:15pm
I just want to add a note to all. I am almost at the one year mark since losing my husband. We dispersed his ashes last Sunday. The whole family was there. Don's brother came, too. It was difficult and I sobbed my eyes out. But, my sons were there to comfort me and my granddaughter (11 yrs.) was exceptionally sweet to me.
But, through all of this, I am doing much better. I am resigned to the fact that Don is no longer alive. I won't say he isn't here because I believe he is still here. I constantly feel him with me.
I just don't fall apart as easily nor do I cry at the drop of the hat.
I too felt like I could not survive the holidays, anniversary (would have been our 37th) or Don's birthday (would have been his 60th), but I did survive. Thanks to great family and friends I have made it. I am told when I hit the one year mark it is somehow like a curtain is lifted. I'm not quite there, but it is so much better. I talk to Don every night before I go to sleep. He would have loved being here Saturday night when ALL the family ended up staying in my apartment! It was overflowing with people but we all had a great time! We talked about Don a lot. I know he was watching.
So to all of you just beginning this journey, it does get better. I won't say it's easy, because it is definitely not! But, time really does heal. Hang in there and I will say a prayer for all of you just beginning this sad journey.
Leia Wright
Comment by Virginia on August 11, 2010 at 2:43pm
I would like to share, even with a few bumps in the road i call my life, this week has been good i'm able to listen to music,wich i haven't done since mike passed and do so with no tears but, with smiles of all the memories of our lives, while we were together and before we met and then shared those with each other. music has a way of healing the soul to be able to remember where or what you were doing to certan songs, personally i hope this week turns into next week and everyone after untill it's time for me to join my crazy,gooffey, loveing carefree husband. i love you baby.

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